My Golden Orb!

Hmmm, I wonder where the orb went. Perhaps I should just stop looking, and find another thing to do with my life. I mean, I'm a talented guy. I could do lots of things! I nod to myself and start heading towards a random employment agency. I'm sure someone could use a bright mind like me!

As I happily skip towards my bright new future, I pass a radio.

Damned. Seems I'm stuck hunting the orb after all.

***​

Me: "Hey Souji, long time no see. Was that your nuke?"
Souji: "Hey, CG. Yeah, it was mine. Enjoyed the fireworks?"
Me: "Nah, I didn't see it. Heard about it on the radio."
Souji: "Oh, to bad. It was pretty sweet."
Me: "I'm sure it was. Well, give me a call sometime soon, will you?"
Souji: "Sure. See ya."
Me: "Not if I see you first."

Seriously, if I see you first, I'll run. Since I just stole the orb from you while you were bragging about that nuke.

My golden orb.

 

Im severely depressed that CG stole the orb from me during my momentous speech about the importance of nuclear intelligence. i was just about to hit the part including how all werewolves should be test subjects to after effects of the newly discovered element named Soujioinium which causes random character relapses, seizures and distribution of all object which the subject is holding.

As CG feels the effects of Soujioinium he hoes into a fit and throws the orb into my waiting hands. Most scientific steal in orb history...

MY ORB!!!!!MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

Hundred of years pass.

Soujiroseta Industries grows immensely wealthy having discovered the element Soujironium, and maintains a foothold on its use.

Until Filbert Soujiroseta comes to control the family fortune and the company.

Filbert is not the wisest of businessmen and he enters into a deal with the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Weyland-Yutani proceeds to enact a hostile takeover and dismantles Soujiroseta Industries. During the takeover all assets are seized, to include the Orb, which is shipped to an off world research facility.



That is how I, the latest incarnation of Ellen Ripley, came to be indirectly in possession of the Orb. Weyland-Yutani also held on to many samples of the Ellen Ripley / Alien DNA culture and these samples are spread far and wide across the research net that comprises Weyland-Yutani.

Long story short. In the facility where I was bred, and where the Orb was kept, yet again the scientists managed to extract the pure Alien DNA from the sample and create both drones and a Queen.

Of course, havoc, mayhem, and bloodshed ensues.

As the Aliens take over the research station, I am spared due to my admixture DNA and I take my place once more at the feet of my Queen. The Queen has inherited my human intelligence this time and has had the Orb mounted into her giant head crest thingie.

I am Lt. Ellen Ripley. Slayer of Aliens. Traveler across space and time. I am indestructible and will always return.

 

Thats great, that's great... Did I mention I actualy work for Umbrella Corporation? It's to bad that we're not powerful enough to take over Weyland-Yutani Corporation. But we do got some great bio-engineers. They decide to use a strain of DNA to resurrect me, and place me in charge of the company. 'Cause, well, I'm awesome.

Enter Nemesis.

After brutally murdering all the aliens, he brings the orb to me, like the good puppy he is. Once again, it is my orb

 

CG is in for it now!!!!!! i hire Jill Valentine and Leon S Kennedy to take out the nemesis scourge.


Leon brings the orb to me and asks me if theres anything he can do? i ask him to chase aroung CG for a bit to teach him a lesson he seems to have forgotten about establishing dubious corporations.

MY ORB!!!!!!!!!

 

Weyland-Yutani is a pacient orginization. They do nothing by halves and only make their move when the time is orchestratedly perfect.

Jill Valentine is pleased as punch with her new boyfriend, Bishop Weyland. Funny that she never thought to ask him about that last name, aye?



After a year and half, they marry. Jill then decides it’s time to bring Bishop into the life, and gives him a mission. He is to deliver a shipment of cargo to her boss. (Wow, the Soujiroseta family lives on! Tough folks, strong adversaries)

Bishop delivers not the shipment that was intended, but a decoy shipment provided by (you guessed it) Weyland-Yutani.

What’s in the boxes, you ask?

357 of these!



Bishop (yes, he's a droid so the face huggers ignore him completely) retrieves the Orb and calls for the ship to pick him up.

Weyland-Yutani now owns the Orb and is thinking about bringing Ripley back as a partner for Bishop in the next engagement.

*Oh, yeah, and coming soon, Vasquez! 'Cause if I were a girl, I would want to be her!*

 

**Aboard Bishop's ship**​

Computer: "We'll reach our desination in four hours and twenty seven minutes."
Bishop: "Right, start landing procedure. Where we going again?"
Computer: "Destination; Raccoon City."

**On the ground**
​

Four hours, twenty nine minutes and about seventy zombies later, my mindless minions present to me the orb. Long live my zombie army!

My orb (and my mindless zombie army!)

 

Two words for CG's Zombie horde:

FLAME

THROWER.


'nuff said

Hambone's orb!

 

Two words for BG_Hambone's avatar;

COPY

RIGHT

'nuff said.

CG's orb!

 

How the bloody hell does killing my avatar grant you the orb?

STILL HAMBONE'S ORB!!

 

Can't really kill and avatar when it's already dead...

Hearing the fact makes yourself feel pretty dry and cold. You begin to shrivel, your skin starts fading until your muscles are showing... wait... what muscles? Your organs are showing, then they start to shrivel. You are dying, going somewhere to join your avatar. Finally, you are just a pile of bones, with a gleaming golden orb sitting triumphantly on top.
I stroll by and casually pick it up and walk off.

 

I have a sniper placed among the rooftops. He picks off your head and a small team of Soupah Troopahs extract the orb. Then they bring it to me.

And it is mine.

 

Xeno swoops down, appearing from out of the clouds. He spies the orb being held by a roman centurion, surrounded by Soupah Troopahs.

He sets his plasma cannon to:
[SIZE=+7]HYPERDEATH[/SIZE]Tm.

xenophon22020 looks up in awe, as burning raind falls upon him, blasting apart half of the building.

Xeno stands among the rubble, his lust for destruction still not satisfied, clasping the orb in his hand.

 

Xeno failed to see that my Soupah Troopahs were mere holograms, and the roman centurion a double. My real troops dive from the rooftops, aided by jetpacks, and swipe the orb from Xeno's hands. I draw my katana and dice Xeno up.

*Shink*

Mine.

 

As the new Xeno-something-something dude dices up the original Xeno i head out from behind.

Souji: Hey there.
Xenophon: Who the hell are you!
Souji: (smiles before saying) you won't be alive long enough to remember my name.

In an instant i got into a battoujutsu stance and ready my shuntentsatsu. As xenophon reaches for his blade ive already cuts him into 3 different palces and sped off with the orb. He falls after im gone to the anime sound of gushing water as blood spills everywhere.

My ORB!!!!!!

 

The animator of Souji dies and he freezes. Despite my death, my team of Soupah Troopahs slip away with the orb, and then call upon a divine magic to revive me. I am alive, stitched together, and still the orb is mine.

 

Little did any of you know that Private Carmen Vasquez has been tracking all of you with her shoulder mounted assault rifle.

Absolutely badass!



“Short, controlled bursts,” she thinks to herself as she takes out the lot of you. She reports back to her mission commander, Sgt. Wreybies.

“The Orb is secure, sarge.” Vasquez hands me the secure shipping container in which she has placed the Orb.

“Excellent work, Vasquez. I wish I had ten more like you.” I take the Orb from her and we get into the armored field vehicle.

My Orb!

 

It's mine. Doesn't matter what I post. By the end it will be mine.

And now the orb is mine. I fortify my flying castle as it hovers darkly among the clouds, guarded by a squadron of X-Wing Fighters.

 

My Miyazaki Castle in the Sky pwns your X-wing fighters.

My Orb!

 

Your castle runs out of fuel and plummets to the ground where it shatters. I roll out across the land on a hover bike, stopping only to pick up my orb. I fly into the sunset.

 

Unluckily for the not-so-intelligent xenophon his "my orb" was actually a raccoon's testicle (Pom Poko, not me being weird) and as he flew/drove off into the sunset I casually hop off my cat bus and pick up the golden orb. But before I can get back into my feline friend it runs off. "Meh," I say, "Where's Toroto and his awesome flying power thingy when you need it??"

My orb! and pregnant catbus

 

He he... My squad of mutants jump out of Nowhere and maim you. The orb is mine. I take Nowhere and slip it into my pocket.

* whistles & claps hands *

 

Xeno drops out of the stratosphere, smashing into the ground metres from the mutant horde.

He turns, firing all of his cannons in their direction.

He maims the mutants.

Xeno has the orb.

 

After watching the two xeno dudes battle it out i creep near them with my nifty new Souji-camo engaged. Xeno doesn't see me come up behind him as he holds the orb up high examining its beauty. I pull out a pistol and a knife,

Souji: Hands Up!
Xeno: Okay don't shoot! (souji comes from behind to frisk him) You gonna take it or what!

With this kind of insubordination i quickly kick Xeno where the sun don't shine, smile and say,

"The orb.......has changed!"

MY ORB!!!!!

 

I return!

Souji is so happy he just hands me the orb, in order to keep this thread alive.

Boredom is a bitch

And the orb is mine