Ok... I've been writing this story for a while, and I'm almost done book 1, but keep getting stuck on certain parts. It's called The Summoning Shroud, Legend of the Void Dancer, and it's about a boy named Ayden O'Leary. You see, he falls off some scaffolding and hurts himself, gets paralyzed, and soon learn that he is able to transcend the void between life & death, and venture to an alternate reality/alternate world called Drawa (Land of Shadows), where he is a legendary hero... here's an exerpt from the tangline "Normal... Ayden is anything but normal, but that's the way he likes it. Orphaned at a young age, Ayden was placed in foster care, but that didn't work out quite as well as he had hoped. He always had trouble fitting in, and never really settled into one place for too long. Eventually, the state placed Ayden at Saint Catherine's Orphanage for delinquent boys, a sad, lonely place where the older boys shunned him and treated him like a child. Then he met Robert... a quiet, skinny boy who had more trouble fitting in than Ayden ever did. Robert quickly befriended Ayden, and the two became practically inseparable. However, one chilly autumn day, everything changed; Ayden was exploring an old foundry with Robert, when he fell off some scaffolding, and a metal shard embedded itself into his skull, paralyzing him from the waist down. Ayden struggled to cope with his injuries, but soon became depressed. That was when something amazing happened! Ayden learned that he was able to transcend the void between life and death, and travel to a desolate parallel world called Drawa (The Land of Shadows), where he is a legendary hero, and highly respected as well. Unfortunately, things are not always as they seems; dark forces are at work, and they are planning to destroy him, and even Drawa itself! Ayden soon learns that an ancient prophecy has foretold his arrival, and in turn, the salvation of Drawa. Now Ayden must make a difficult decision: Stay in the world he knows, The Land of Light, with his friends, or take his place as Void Dancer in The Land of Shadows, save both worlds, and restore balance between good and evil..." "When Destiny Calls You... Will You Answer?"™...
A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's no point to asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read this thread about What is Plot Creation and Development? (and yes, this is a template post, which should give you an idea of how often this comes up.) On the other hand, if you are asking us to review the tagline, it wiuld have to be posted in the Review Room like any other writing submitted for comment, after meeting the review requirement of two or more constructive reviews of other members' work.
You know...taglines are meant to be brief, and they don't state all the backstory and events that lead up to the plot. I realize that doesn't help nor does it comment on your plot, but you say "tagline," then you go into the entire history behind the plot and...it's really not a tagline. :redface: I think the word you were thinking of is summary, as "tagline" is generally just one or two sentences meant to capture someone's attention--the last quote you have, "When destiny calls you...will you answer?" in fact reads like a true tagline. Also, I really don't think that putting a "TM" mark behind a quote means you've trademarked it. Trademarking is different from copyright, and I doubt you could copyright such a general quote. I could be wrong though. ETA: Er...where did my signature go??
Good idea, although this kind of thing has been done before. But I've got to say I've never heard about the whole paralyzation deal with being capable of transcending between life and death. But still, the concept doesn't matter. You could have a book filled with nothing but cliches and as long as the writing was good, it could still be a decent book.
Now don't lie to him scarecrow. Even terrible books do have their good qualities though, so you might want to work on finding something like that. something like.... when he passes through dimensions or whatever, he is replaced by another soul in his body, one that isn't paralyzed. Although this seems like a story thats about the other world, and stories in the world he came from might not fit it.
I am going to disagree with this part, if just to be a contrarian. I don't think every idea has been done before. Perhaps the fundamentals have been, but there are still unique ideas. Nano-bots is a recent new idea. Microscopic robots that can assembled matter and take it apart. What about some of the ideas in Golden Compass? What about Clive Barkers new idea of how hours and places in his new series that Disney purchased for a ridiculous amount of money. What about my recent idea that bacteria are living entities broken into two factions? One faction that is trying to kill us, and the other that is trying to save us. I am further developing this idea. Demons created bacteria to destroy humans, and angels created good bacteria to save us. They also implanted knowledge into our minds to discover medicines. Even if the basic idea of time travel is not new, we can still think of unique ways to present it. Such as the novel about the eternals. They live sort of outside of time and control time lines. I forget what novel that was. So yes I do not believe everything has been done before. There might be an infinite amount of unique ideas waiting to be discovered. I do agree though that it matters how well the story is told, how well the characters are done, and so forth.
Hmmm... sounds a lot like Dr. Who. Which came out... around 40, 30 years ago. OT: I partly agree with Cogito tbh. Using templates helps us help you. Besides, if your almost done with the first book, it would probably be a better idea to have someone proof-read it.
Or "Tale of Time City" ... though that might be what s/he was talking about. I can't remember if the people there were called "eternals".
