I really hope all this backstory does not form a prologue... if so, what you've got on your hands is one giant world building info dump. If any of this is necessary to the reader's understanding of the plot then bring it in piece by piece as it is needed. Do NOT whack it all out in one big go at the start of your book. If you do, wave bye bye to ever seeing this published. Bek’Tolmar and Pek’Tolmar sound incredibly similar. This will confuse the shit out of your readers who are trying to keep them separate in their minds. Besides, linguistically it makes little sense. How can ‘Protectors’ and ‘Lost Ones’ be formed by exactly the same words and grammatical construction, but just with one letter different? ‘Tolmar’ must mean the same thing in both titles, so what does that word translate as? I can’t deny that it worries me. I think you have a great imagination, but I think you may have bitten off more than you can chew. The fact that you reckon this will run to 600+ pages also shows me that you do not have the ability to write concisely and select what actually needs to go in, and what is self indulgent exploration of your world/fantasy concept.
No this is not what is going to be in my prologue and it most likely will never be written into my story like this at all. Regardless of what aspect I am writing about. But your right, I have someone currently mentoring me and we have already established that though I have potential and my writing can be strong at times, is unfortunately quite horrible. So my story has taken its place on the shelf until I reach a point where my command for the language is proficient enough for me to come back to it. I probably will throw out everything I have written already and start over (or go through each paragraph and diligently re-write) but I will not throw away the idea. And while I am learning, I will continue brainstorming its development and possible direction. I will probably even write short stories with my characters maybe taking place in the past, or present (within the story) so I can get more of a feel for their personalities and how they would act to things. I merely typed all that just so you guys could have a basic understanding of what was going on so that you guys can help me brainstorm more (which was the logic behind the start of this thread) As for the Linguistics, good call. I had not thought about that at all. As for the story, what do you guys think of the originality? I have a list of things I am going to add that is going to force it to stray away from typical/cliche fantasy so its not such a black and white piece like most in the genre. IE: Good characters never make mistakes and Bad characters are so evil they have no morals (in a basic example) and things I am going to have in the world itself that should seperate it from others, I hope. Does it at least sound like it could potentially be an interesting read?
Good, don't throw away the idea. The world you have created sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it, and the mythology/theology is interesting. What you need to develop is a mastery of plot, so that you can learn to write a story that is not merely a vehicle for driving through your fantasy landscape and appreciating the scenery, but it is actually the story that drives the need for us to know about your world. I'm a bit of a languages nut, especially Greek and Latin. Etymology is a sacred thing I honestly can't say whether it would be interesting, because so far all I've seen are ideas. As Cogito is fond of saying, ideas mean nothing; it's all in the execution of them. So if you get to the stage where you know your characters well (writing short stories about them is an EXCELLENT idea) and have a compelling story that you are moved to write, then I would suggest you plan it out before you start, in order to avoid another situation where you realise you've written 200 pages that need a complete rewrite. As any writer will tell you, the first novel is usually a practice exercise anyway. I wish you all the best in your quest to improve your writing skills.
