1. LacedxUnlaced

    LacedxUnlaced New Member

    Jun 26, 2011
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    New idea, I have an opening paragraph already.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by LacedxUnlaced, Jun 26, 2011.

    Okay so here is my idea! The storyline of my potential novel is this..
    it opens up on Helena Slater's death. She is welcoming her successor (name yet to be decided) who was chosen to become a follower. They live in a very strict society, where each class has its own cultures. The successor was born into one of the least appreciated cultures. She is chosen to be an apprentice for (name also yet to be decided) and she, like all the other apprentices, falls in love with him. she follows him everywhere and eventually she follows him to Hell, which isn't Hell as written in the Bible. Hell in their world is where you are tortured and worked until you are spit back into the world to live with The Forsaken's until your death. The successor will be drug to hell, then see the antagonist for who he really is and stop the cycle of the Chosen's. (how she does this is yet to be decided) here is my opening sentence:

    The rouged coals of the fireplace languish long after midnight. Hope vibrated throughout her being, for she knew the end was near, and as she closed her eyes to welcome death with a final kiss, a galaxy of longing overcame her. The delicious fragility of this travesty known as Helena Slater's former existence set a course of sorrow for the next Chosen. Helena looked above her to the faithful blue sky she knew and loved, and welcomed her successor to her world with a string of laughter.

    Forgot to add the point of this.. is there anything I should add or subtract to/from the plot? Also, any critiques on the opening paragraph? Much appreciated:)
  2. cruciFICTION

    cruciFICTION Contributor Contributor

    May 18, 2011
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    Brisbane, Australia
    I see these are your only two posts. There is a place for writing to be critiqued, and as you will soon find, we're not here to validate your ideas. You've obviously started writing; don't come and ask us if you should continue. Just continue. Turn off your internet and write if you have to. If you don't want to write it, don't write it.

    Just work it out until you have an actual issue that needs addressing.
  3. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    May 19, 2007
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    Massachusetts, USA
    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?

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