Hello, everyone! I'm so glad there's a forum like this for writers to get in touch with each other, because I've been feeling terrible for the past months. My love for reading and writing started when I was very young. At school, teachers always praised my writing (by the way, I'm portuguese). The urge to write something started long ago and I tried to do it twice. I had a few ideas and wrote them down, but never actually started working on it for real. Looking back, I now understand that I was lacking many things. Among them was life experience and maturity. It's not like I'm old now, but it's been around 10 years since I last tried to come up with a story and actually write it... and I feel different about it. So, yes, I am creating a story and I never went this far before. The idea came up three months ago... when I was taking a shower! Suddenly, out of nowhere! It was awful, because it was very fast and a very long part of the story. I was in panic and rushed to get out of the bathtub (I did finish showering, of course) and ran to my bedroom to get a notebook and write as fast as I could, so that I wouldn't forget any part of it. I swear... it felt like a revolting urge to vomit... and after two hours of writing non-stop, I could finally stop and breathe. After that, it got worse. I have a full time job and I'm trying to work on my writing almost at the same time. I carry a notebook everywhere I go and the ideas always come up at the wrong time. It's terrible... It's like having two jobs. Is anyone around here in this situation? About my story, I went through so much already I actually felt like going crazy a few times. I guess "The Shinning" is the real deal... it's very easy to lose our minds when working on a story. Sometimes I feel great and very confident about the story, but other times I feel it's terrible and everyone will hate it. Fortunately, thanks to professional writers who share their thoughts on writing books, I felt a lot better: they say it's very normal to feel like this and it's actually a good sign. That being said... having some kind of mental support is important. Mainly, friends and family. And, to my surprise, I'm lacking both. I'm rather invisible in my family (loved, but invisible... in the sense that nothing I do is ever pointed out, even if it's really bad), so I'm not that surprised about this one. But the "friends" part? That really surprised me. Specially because my friends are like brothers to me and they're always very supportive. This time... well, I'm not saying they do not support me, but it's like they don't care either, which is very unusual. They know I'm a creative person (I can't live without drawing, painting, and so on). The few times I ever said something about the story, it was ME wanting to share something. They never ask. Not even how it is going. It's a terrible feeling of loneliness... I never thought writing was an easy task, but also never thought it was so painful, frustrating... I did think about giving up at one point (or two). But after all I went through the last three months, it would be very stupid and EASY to just give up. I can't help feeling like a masochist, because no matter how horrible writing can be sometimes, it feels amazing! Sorry for the long rant, but this "loneliness" is killing me and I really needed to let this out.
Hey there, thanks for writing more than just a generic "hey, I'm here" intro thread I think I understand your loneliness. I've been through absolute turmoil with my own "family" and "friends", till I realized that "family" means nothing more than whoever or even whatever you hold near and dear to you. Sometimes, there are no people around. And, sometimes, there are people around whom you wish weren't around ! We are all, ultimately, responsible for our own happiness. Sad, but true. You can hold your hobbies and things that bring you joy, close to your heart. So, think about those things ... what is it that brings you true and unconditional joy ? I have lots of hobbies, and they are essentially my family. They are my reason for waking up in the morning. You're not alone in your aloneness Suffering and aloneness are the human condition. At the end of the day, whether people will admit it or not, everyone's first loyalty is to himself/herself. True connection is very rare, even if it seems like it on the outside. Ultimately, everyone is alone and leaves this world alone. Not being pessimistic here, just realistic. Loneliness can be a sign of high intelligence ... don't discount that
Thank you for the comment. You're right. And even my dog supports me more than any friends or family at the moment. She's always by my side when I'm writing at night, after my day job. Well, but that's why I decided to join this forum. Not talking to anyone about writing is driving me insane... and I need my brain to focus, otherwise I'll never get this done. And it's been going fine so far (almost died here and there, from thinking about the story 24/7... but it's fine ), every day something new comes up, some part of the story gets better, and so on. Again, thank you!
There is no substitute for having someone who is willing to listen to what you have to say, be it written or spoken. We gauge our friends and our family by the level of trust we place in them when we share our inner thoughts. One of the big drawbacks of writing is that you are not there to see the reaction of what you had to say. Saying verbally you can adjust what you say based on body language, that option is not there when someone half a world away reads your words. Being the kind of person who always reaches out when someone asks. I would be willing to read some of what you wrote. It is a long two weeks before you can post anything on this site. From my own experience here, I know that part about being new here sucks. I also can't post yet either. I offer this, I will send you a short story I just wrote in exchange for a portion of what you wrote. I will read and make suggestions as long as you to the same for me...Bob
