1. JosephMarch

    JosephMarch Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    24

    Nodding, shaking head, sighing

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by JosephMarch, Sep 12, 2015.

    I feel like I have these in my WIP a LOT. They say a lot in silence of no dialogue. How much is too much?

    ETA: 19 'nodded' in 57,000 (so far) words
     
  2. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    May 21, 2009
    Messages:
    9,503
    Likes Received:
    9,763
    Location:
    England
    They're 'invisible tags'. I wouldn't worry about them too much. 19 in 57,000 words is nothing, so long as they're not all in the same paragraph.

    Every bugger seems to skim read novels these day anyway. I don't know why we writers bother agonising over all those words :D
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2015
    rainy_summerday likes this.
  3. Christine Ralston

    Christine Ralston Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    65
    19 sounds about right. It does annoy me when I read "nodded his head." what else can you nod? Yet, I find this phrase in professional published novels sometimes. So, if your characters are *just* "nodding" then 19 occurrences in a short novel shouldn't be too much to bother the reader as long as, like OurJud said, they're not nodding too close together.
     
  4. Lyrical

    Lyrical Frumious Bandersnatch

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2015
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    262
    Ha. That's funny. I've never actually thought about it before, but you're completely right. "Nodded his head" feels repetetive, which is why I have always unconsciously gone for the simple "Nodded." On the reverse side of that, you always see "shook his head" because it would be very unclear what was going on if you simply he said "he shook." Is he trembling? Is he convulsing? Is he trying to get dry?
    But it doesn't work both ways. Nodding is exclusive to the head. Shaking is not. I know this is all very obvious, but I'm just now thinking about it for the first time.

    As to the OP - I like to think about how conversations happen in real life. We frequently communicate in non-verbal ways, so I think it's perfectly natural for our characters to do so as well. And 19 in 57,000 words doesn't seem excessive.
     
  5. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7,471
    Likes Received:
    10,218
    Location:
    London, UK
    I have a lot of nodding and shaking, too. I have 62 nods, 58 shakes and 77 sighs in 108k dialogue-heavy words. But then I have 106 nos and 28 yeses (guess my characters are negative people) so if I tried to replace the nods and shakes, I'd end up with too much of something else.

    I've never noticed them when I read through my novel (and I do notice repetition in other areas) so I think Our Jud is right - they're largely invisible.
     
  6. JosephMarch

    JosephMarch Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    24
    Great, thanks for all the responses. I have shrugging of shoulders, also. But my story starts out with teenagers and ends with a reunion with a lot of left over tension between my two main characters. I guess the silent cues are appropriate for the tone of my book.
     
  7. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,628
    Likes Received:
    3,817
    Location:
    occasionally Oz , mainly Canada
    I only notice things if they're pet words of the author. For instance on several sites I'm on - one person loves using bark, another rolled her eyes, another grinned. So critiquers are usually going - enough with the barking - or if she rolls her eyes one more time - or have him do something besides grin, please!
    It's never an issue until it's an issue.
     
  8. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7,471
    Likes Received:
    10,218
    Location:
    London, UK
    I just read one where a character constantly "huffed" and another's mouth "quirked into a smile" all the time. Very annoying.
     
    peachalulu likes this.
  9. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    15,071
    Likes Received:
    9,751
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    'Bark' is an odd word. I mean, I'd get it only if the character were a dog-person (ie, a walking hominoid dog in clothing), but a human? It kills any tension that exists.

    "Get away from the fire!" Fred barked.
    Me: *thinks Fred is a talking dog*

    I agree with the 'shake'/'shook' thing. It would be important to specify the head shaking if that's what you're going for. Otherwise I'm going to think the character is convulsing. Nodding, however? We know what we use to 'nod' with, so no need to include 'nodded his/her head.'
     
  10. Adenosine Triphosphate

    Adenosine Triphosphate Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,251
    Likes Received:
    732
    Location:
    USA
    "You ate all the Oreos," George barked, rolling his eyes into a terrible grin. "Now we'll have to eat you instead!"
     
    peachalulu likes this.
  11. Jeff Countryman

    Jeff Countryman Living the dream

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    161
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    Canada
    Same problem over here . . . I have almost every character 'chuckling' after their comments. So annoying. Hopefully someday when I do a second draft (will probably be in the nursing home by then) I'll get rid of them.
     
  12. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    May 21, 2009
    Messages:
    9,503
    Likes Received:
    9,763
    Location:
    England
    So why do you do it if it's annoying? o_O
     
  13. Jeff Countryman

    Jeff Countryman Living the dream

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    161
    Likes Received:
    89
    Location:
    Canada
    Because everyone is always & eternally happy {insert Big Sigh here}. :):):):)
     
    OurJud likes this.
  14. ManOrAstroMan

    ManOrAstroMan Magical Space Detective Contributor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2012
    Messages:
    808
    Likes Received:
    349
    Location:
    Missouri
    Thing is, people do this sort of thing in real life. Little quirks and tics, expressions, both verbal and facial, used over and over again.
    But, just like all the "ums" and "ers", when they are written down, they become conspicuous.
     
  15. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,420
    Likes Received:
    1,991
    Gaspode, the talking dog in Discworld, goes one better...

    "Woof," said Gaspode.

    This, of course, is when he's trying to conceal his abilities from humans...it usually works, but not always without causing them to wonder about what they've just heard.
     
    ManOrAstroMan likes this.
  16. Inks

    Inks Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    171
    I use a lot of visual cues and write them down. Nodding, sighing, smiling, ear movements (applicable here), and other cues that reveal and agree with the emotions they are expressing. It also helps to show deceit and certain characters can pick up on that thing really well. As body language is a large part direct communication, it makes perfect sense that leaning in, rising or falling shoulders, concealment of the hands and head tilting are all good indicators in gauging responses.

    They are largely invisible in a sense, but if you use them well - it helps understand the mannerisms and openness of the character. Otherwise, you might as well be writing an IM chat dialogue.
     
  17. Shattered Shields

    Shattered Shields Gratsa!

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    300
    Location:
    Athagora
    You have to do this sort of thing. You gotta paint the picture for the reader. Make them envision what's happening.
     
  18. ballislife

    ballislife New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2015
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think as long as they are fairly separated (so avoid having characters nod six times on a page), it is pretty acceptable :).
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice