1. lixAxil

    lixAxil Self-Proclaimed Senator of the RPG subforum. Contributor

    Sep 1, 2012
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    The sea of fragments

    Not right to complain

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by lixAxil, Nov 16, 2013.

    Well this is not a topic seeking like for help or whatever stuff you may think.
    I'm just curious about what do you think of this.
    Oh this idea came because I had a bad day in general, no big deal.

    Not having the right to complain...
    Is kinda like a self imposed lock or something like that.
    But are here people who kinda have small issues bothering them in their lives, or perhaps not so small, yet enough to be a disturbance or stressing factor; however when you feel like complaining about it you realize that your life is not really bad in comparison with others, or that nothing really big or bad had happened to you while to others have. You picture in your head sceneries of very hard and terrible lives that others may have or recall something you watched, read or heard about X situation for X people that is just horrible. All this stops you from complaining on your small stressing issues, because you realize they're not worth enough compared with all these kind of situations. As thus you lost the right to complain about these small things.

    Yet is a stressing factor, and despite how ridiculous or small may be it still affects you. Yet only the idea of complaining about it makes you feel guilt, or even if you expose it you're replied with things like "Be thankful of your life, others have to withstand worst stuff, or even give you examples of how their lives is worst than yours".

    Anyway I think you get the idea.
    I repeat myself, not seeking for help or any similar stuff. Just curious about your opinions.

    PD: Don't take this so seriously.
  2. edamame

    edamame Contributor Contributor

    Apr 5, 2013
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    In my opinion, it doesn't matter if something that bothers you doesn't bother someone else. What may be easy for someone else can be hard for you and it's best to work out your negative feelings about it and not let the stress pile up. You don't have to complain to someone about it, you can exercise, journal, etc. If you do want/need to complain, I'd suggest asking a friend or someone you trust if they don't mind if you vent for a bit.
  3. Writay

    Writay New Member

    Nov 9, 2013
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    North Europe
    I understand what you're saying.

    When I find myself in such situations I try to vent/complain to just close friends or people in the same exact situation. Others will not get it, anyway. And there are always people who will tell you there are bigger problems in the world. :rolleyes: Yeah, like you didn't know.
    As I've grown older, I've learned to be very selective who I tell about my complaints. Creates less frustration.
  4. chicagoliz

    chicagoliz Contributor Contributor

    May 30, 2012
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    Well, yes it is true that any of us here on this forum really can't complain too much, as we have it better than about 99% of the people who currently live or who have ever lived on earth. Throughout most of history, just surviving day to day was enough to take up most of one's waking time. About 2 billion of the earth's current citizens are literally starving to death, and most of their mental energy involves simply staying alive or trying to keep their children alive. Another few billion have it a little better, but are still primarily preoccupied with recovering from illness, caring for family with illness, getting food and water, or shelter from the elements, and if they're really lucky are able to scrape together enough money to send their children at least to primary school.

    So, to have it good enough where we are able to ponder things that didn't go as we had wished, or to think about some idealized form of how we wished things could be, is really a luxury. That is, we are very lucky to be able to have enough of our basic needs met, and to be educated enough that we are even able to expend energy lamenting what we do not have or what has not gone as planned.

    It's okay to do this -- everyone does, but if you really need to jolt yourself into reality, remember this from time to time.
  5. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Nov 21, 2006
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    Coquille, Oregon
    it's the old, 'I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet' thing...

    whatever bothers people will still bother them regardless of how much more someone next to them [or on the other side of the world] is suffering... another having lost a child doesn't stop the pain you feel on losing a beloved pet, or even 'just' a cherished possession...

    but being aware of the difference in the level of loss/suffering and being compassionate toward others' tribulations in the midst of our own, is what separates the 'caring' from the 'uncaring'...

    btw, having compassion for others isn't exclusive to the human species, since elephants and whales and other mammals also exhibit love for and responsibility to their fellow kind, in the same ways we do...
    GoldenGhost and chicagoliz like this.
  6. shadowwalker

    shadowwalker Contributor Contributor

    Jul 27, 2011
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    Just because others have different problems than you doesn't mean your life is perfect. Agree - be selective about who you complain to so you don't get your heart bashed for being "ungrateful", but don't think you shouldn't feel anger/frustration/distress at the problems in your life.
    HarleyQ. likes this.

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