“You’re going close to the Founder city!” I said in a whiney voice mocking Darcy’s words. “You’re going to get us all killed,” I mimicked Corinne. OR “You’re going close to the Founder city!” I said in a whiney voice mocking Darcy’s words. “You’re going to get us all killed,” I mimicked Corinne. I haven't settled on this passage yet but I need to know either way: if one person repeats different people's words, is that one paragraph or two? Thanks.
I vote one paragraph. It reads better IMO, and I wouldn't think that the content of the dialogue would affect the new paragraph for new people speaking rule.
I vote for one as well, and I think if you change the structure so that you the mimicking of Caroline comes last it may work better: “You’re going close to the Founder city!” I said in a whiney voice mocking Darcy’s words. My voice slid into Caroline's high drawl, “You’re going to get us all killed." Not that Caroline has a high drawl, but you get the idea. I think the structure is more stilted when you use the same for both sentences.
I'd say one paragraph also. Does the preceding text show that Darcy and Corinne have said similar things? Could you simplify it further? I mocked them both. “You’re going close to the Founder city![” “]You’re going to get us all killed!” I think the way you have it now is a bit tell-y? Doesn't flow. Nit picking guaranteed.
