1. MrDakaDaka

    MrDakaDaka New Member

    Sep 6, 2010
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    Opinions on manga storyline?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by MrDakaDaka, Sep 6, 2010.

    I am working on a manga storyline and just want peoples opinion on whether it is good or not.
    The story follows the life of a teenage child solider who is trying to fit into normal society. But he secretly is a thrill seeker and yearns to return to the battlefield. Ironically, his adoptive parents are arms dealers that adopted him only because the arms dealers wife insisted. Due to his adoptive parents connections, he regularly works as a mercenary for anyone from criminals, PMC, secret services to foreign governments and armies, despite his parents scorns in many major and minor conflicts while his family and friends are oblivious to his actions.
    _Had a hard life as a child solider in Burma at the age of 6, his biological parents killed, forced to commit many atrocities and had the rule of survival of the fittest drilled into his head, but was eventually adopted by arms dealers who payed the corrupt officers a sum of money for his freedom.
    _He hates his adoptive father because he was the one that supplied arms to the very armies that killed his parents but is loyal and grateful to his adoptive mother because she is the only person besides his real parents that showed him kindness, his adoptive father sees him as another useful customer and gun for hire contributing to profits due to his profession.
    _He often brings the conflict home due to all the enemy's he makes
    _Has no idea how normal life works so he wont hesitate to do something destructive (he beat the school bully and puts him in a coma on his first day of school and roots out every school bully)
    _Story arcs will take place in conflicts of different countries such as Afghanistan, Iraq, Europe, Africa and South America. (major arcs will be about the war in Iraq, Afghanistan and even world war 3 while minor arcs will be about wars in Africa, South America etc)
    _The story will have a dark tone and show the reality of child soldiers rather than making a romantic image.
    _He has no value for human life what so ever but does have standards (don't kill defenseless people for they are not worth fighting, don't kill children, only attack when attacked and so on)
    _He will finally develops Post traumatic Stress and reflects on his actions after becoming a teenage father when he sees his baby son and finally understands the value of a human life.
    This story is still in development so there a lot of character and plot holes, but feel free to express your opinion. thanks.
  2. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    May 19, 2007
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    Massachusetts, USA
    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read this thread about What is Plot Creation and Development?
  3. SashaMerideth

    SashaMerideth New Member

    Aug 26, 2010
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    Wow, that looks like a lot. The story might be kinda cool and interesting but if you tell it wrong, it will fail. Like Cogito said.

    I want to see how you do it.

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