Stop posting plot concepts. Please. No-one will actually read this- no-one that should, anyway- but I feel this needs to be said. When you tell the story, outside of an actual story, it dies. That's how it works. That's how the muse works. It figures out a story that it wants to tell. Once that story is told, that's it. It's done. The muse discards it. That's why so very many promising stories die. They get told. Their authors spoil the endings for themselves. That's why they die. It's like making a clay pot. You can't expect a clay pot to hold water when it's still wet. You can't test it that way- not really. It'll melt back into clay, ready to use again to make another pot. But if you keep it to yourself, shape it, put it in the kiln, and glaze it afterwards, you'll find out just how good of a pot it was. We can't help you shape a rough idea. Rough ideas don't stand up to examination well, unless they're the very, very core idea, the unbreakable seed from which the story blossoms. "Revenge never works." "Love conquers all." "Suffering leads to fortune." We can work with those. But a basic outline? That's the story! The muse will dump it on the sidelines and- and this is the most important part, the killer of stories- it will start working on the next one. The next one won't be better. It'll be the same. But it'll be shiny and new, and the muse will love it and make you love it. If you don't get the first one into a finished form, you won't improve. I know this for a fact. I've told stories, and lost them, and I'm still working on my first one. I've decided not to tell people. And I've still got it. Stop telling unfinished stories. That's the main thing. Again, this will only reach the wrong people, but... well, I just needed to put it down in words.