Funnily enough, last year around this time I was in the best shape of my life. I had just gotten out of my lacrosse season, and was playing with my lacrosse girls a lot during summer scrimages, so I was able to stay in shape. I still weighed the same, but muscle weighs more than fat. On July 4th of last year I strained all of the tendons, ligaments, and muscles in my shoulder. Everything went down hill from there. I want to get back to where I was at! Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate it. It's sweet of you all to come up with things that I can do. Like I said, I want to be a girl that turns heads, but I also want to be ME. I'm not a girl that gets all dressed up and made up. I like going up to the barn and romping around with my horse in the dirt. I like getting all sweaty and gross repairing a fence and running after my dog. I have come to realize over the past couple of days that just as long as I am healthy and feel good about myself, then all the boys in the world that don't stop and look at me can go jump off a bridge. I want to be special, but I also want to be me.
I don't get what's so incredibly tempting about turning the heads of people that are probably shallow people that you seem to dislike. Unless you find yourself unable to partner with someone who is not shallow but on the other hand does not have the good looks of the shallow one(s) that has\have turned you down.
Its not like a personal goal or anything. Its just something that when it happens gives you a buzz. Like when you see people checking you out. Its not life-changing, just gives you a little self-esteem high. Its like, you make an effort to dress well and do your hair and things, and then someone checks you out and it validates everything you're doing. Its not necessary, I would still try to dress well and stuff anyway, but when it happens, its just like...yay!
I am actually an attention whore, so I love attention from anyone I can get it from. I love it when I look my best and I get those eyes that flash and then look down...oh and being flirty with no intentions is also a lot of fun. It's all about self esteem and confidence building...I personally was a rail a few years back, started growing more, went to the gym, ate well, and now I like to take advantage of it all because I pretty much missed out up until this point in life. However I will say this...I have met some very, very, immature and nearly retarded people recently, so... Sorry for going off topic, i'm losing my mind these days.