1. Aleque

    Aleque Member

    Jul 4, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Copenhagen, Denmark

    plot for serious animation

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Aleque, Aug 6, 2007.


    I am developing Flash animation series, that can be viewed online. I have made this first part of animation, but it is not truly finished yet.. just samples Part 1 - Capture and Torture
    and part for later: Part 2 - The Court Room

    The plot goes like this:

    Steve is a respected lawyer that has a very rare type of brain tumor making him see wierd and horrible things and giving him a hard time to concentrate. He loses a case to put his best friends murderer into jail, finds his wife cheating on him and gets robbed. His depression makes him see even more scarier things.

    Suddenly he hears a woman scream for help from a roof of a building. He rushes up there, saves her, by knocking the guy out, who is chocking her (there are 3 guys and they will all suffer later). They start to beat him brutally. The woman tries to make them stop, but no use - she gives up and runs, while the thugs continue to beat the guy up. The woman starts to cry, knowing that she did/could not do anything to save the guy that saved her life. The thugs kick the guy out from the building. As the guy is falling down, he sees flashbacks of highlights of his life. The woman sees him fall down through the window from below floor, and the guy gets a glimpse of her, touching the glass, looking at him and crying. Before the guy hits the ground, the screen instantly goes to black. Dead silence.

    Suddenly the guy still keeps falling, but the background is different. Psychodelic wormhole like spiral of shiny colors. He is heading towards the Abyss. He hits the ground like a meteor and gets up, coughing. Everything is different and he can't recognize any of the surroundings, nor knowing if that is even real.

    Steve meets T-Lex, who says, that he is his guide. The guide is a crazy, arrogant and funny creature (reminding of Hades from Hercules). He starts introducing the guy to the new place, explaining that he is not even dead, and this whole place is just a spot in a guys mind, where he is safe. (A state between reality, dream and subconsciousness).

    Steve comes to a huge fortress, that is a metaphor for his mind and T-Lex starts to explain to him, that he has an offer for him; to do some tasks for the guide, and in exchange for some powers and to go back and make everything right - simply revenge.

    So the guy signs the contract and as a bonus gets his first skill. So he gets introduced with this skill (to be able to fight in a melee combat, occasionally predicting moves and being able to study environments for objects, that can be used as weapons, by highlighting in his point of view). The condition of using this skill is; The guy must be in uncounscious frenzy-form, means that he does not acts of his free own will but on the behalf of his instinct of revenge and justice. He trains for awhile in The Abyss with this new power, and gets ready to "Return".

    The character "ressurects".
    (Now you see him as a predator - merely as a shade, a shadow - a killing avenger. If you imagine that there is a killer and a victim in a horror film, the main character now is a killer, and you don't see him directly, while in his frenzy-form, making it more spooky with his presence)

    He tracks down the guys, who killed him and one by one, brutally massacres them in the most painful ways, making them as sorry as hell. And then ofcourse completes the first tast of his guide (which I am not sure of yet)

    The guy wakes up in a motel room with alot of cash and carkeys to a very fancy looking car, parked outside - the belongings of previously killed badguys. The guy is shocked. On TV he sees his own massacre investigation on the news. And some shocked witness is being interviewed: "The guy was moving so fast, almost inhumane! It was more like a... a... a cat! And I didn't get a look of his face... it's ..like... like the shadow was following him everywhere he went."

    The guy can't belive this. He feels very unsecure with all this, and reports him self to the police. He gets charged as guilty and put into prison. But when someone pisses him of while sitting in his prison cell, he enters that frenzy state once agan and his guide was like "what took you so long?! I almost thought you forgot our deal".

    Steve gets new power - Telekinesis, and it is being explained by the guide theoreticly and convincing, how it is possible to move objects without touching them. The guy tests that power as well in the Abyss and suddenly wakes up in his cell - in frenzy-form once again. Sitting in a very relaxed position, smiling evil and testing his skill on a very simple object. Then he succeeds to get out from the cell with this skill (for instance by stealing keys remotely).
    The story continues that way: The guy is getting new powers and makes new tasks for T-Lex (who's intentions are evil, but is is good in manipulating with Steve), meeting annoying people on his way, who he makes suffer. Meets people as well who were cruel to him in his past and gets flashbacks of bad memories, and in order to kill those flashbacks, he has to kill/punish the cruel persons as well.

    Steve-character represents everything in the every day life, that you have to put up with, but often don't have guts to do anything about: people, annoying screaming kids, small things (like bugs and noises) that annoy you, but you have to live with it. And many other problems that the most people have to deal with. As a person you will be very identified with him and can feel his pain through your own life experience. My goal is to make people feel that they are not the only once having those problems, and explain the structure of psyché, explaining how Ego works with other mind-sences, like Hope and Depression. Generally the viewers will feel better with their own life when watching the film, seeing what challenges the main character is facing - in a very harsh and unfair way!

    He will get some new powers, formulas to metals yet unknown to mankind and uses his imagination to create unique weapons, gadgets and even modify already existing weapons, cars, etc. into something better with new, useful features.

    He gets some very evil horror fantasies as well, that symbolises his current state, for instance; he wakes up in a clinical room with no windows or doors, (there is a gun on the floor though) and there is a light in the middle of the room, blinking (turning of and on randomly) and every time it turns on, the room gets smaller and finally it gets so dark and spooky (and real) that Steve panicly searches in the dark for that gun to shoot him self. Every time he "wakes up" from those imaginations, he is all sweaty and can't distinguish between imagination and reality. (that is too because of his brain condition)

    The final episode of the film is: the guy is on the top of the roof once again trying to kill him self - exactly same scene as the first one. Only this time, there is no woman screaming and he jumps, and you realise that everything, that happened earlier with: woman, powers, revenge, etc - was only something he imagined in few seconds, while truly falling down to the ground. He falls, he dies - The End

    And as you see I have a problem; In the first animation, you see the future - the part where Steve already avenges uncounsciously. I don't want the viewers to know, yet, that the guy (Steve), who tells his story later and experiences all the bad things, is the same guy, who tortures the badguy in that spooky room. That badguy murders Steve later in the story, and the viewers will finally realise, WHO the unknown/unseen man is, and WHY he tortured/killed that (bad)guy in the start.

    The second animation is the part, where Steve explains about all the bad things happening to him that day.

    I am in dilemma, because one of my friends told me that it would be cool to implement the storytelling voice of Steve already in the first animation with the badguy in the torture room, focusing with camera on the badguy, making viewers belive that Steve is him (mislead-technique). The words, that Steves voice explains should both fit to Steves situation (explained later), AND the badguys current situation, so the audience think that he is the main character. First words are: "My name is Steve, I am 35 years old and I'm a lawyer" and later: "Why me", "The pain was insane ...but some might say, that I deserved it". So when the badguy is finally dead, camera goes on the shade of Steve and the voice: "My name is Steve, I am 35 years old and I'm a lawyer", goes again, and end of episode 1.

    My own version was, not to say one single word in the first scene with torture. Just a tense atmosphere between a torturer and victim - Hostel style. And when Steve finally approaches the badguy (who is terrified), with a scalpel, screen fades to black and loud fading-away scream (through the nose due to the sticky tape), leaving the audience confused about what just happened and why.

    What do you think I should connect those 2 pieces of animation?
    And another question; when do you think that my first episode should end? I don't want it to be too short, and wan't people to get hungry for Episode2.
    Please help me out here - driving me nuts.

    UPDATE: just got an idea! Steve could grab the scalpel without touching it (with telekinesis), just to refer to the powers later and confuse the audience even more :)
  2. Charisma

    Charisma Transposon Contributor

    Jul 23, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Lahore, Pakistan
    I would suggest that you should show that creepy scene in which the guy is smoking, but do no show the brutalities and only a deep scream (when he turns, possibly). Then, hovering above his dead body like another lost scene, Steve can recall what had happened earlier, important thoughts appearing as reflection on the blood spooling out. Yes, you should use his voice in this case. It's just my suggestion, maybe you won't like it.

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