1. ToriaDion

    ToriaDion New Member

    Dec 12, 2015
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    Plot help- Two POVs or just one.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by ToriaDion, Dec 12, 2015.


    (Keep in mind this is very brief and non descriptive, I'm not going to list why the characters act the way they do or explain how things work in this world. Their are a couple humanoid races but the only non-magic-wielding races are Dwarves and Humans. There are five kingdoms within this story (Although they are only ruled by two people))

    The first character introduced is a young pickpocket girl named Enyra (Around 23 years of age) who is kidnapped by two men so she can be turned in for a ransom. However the men then decide that she would be more useful to them than just money. These characters are introduced as Jeiryth (Pronounced jer-I-eth) a human man somewhere in his thirties and Caleb, a half elf who is around 24 years old. Another character is also introduced, A young dark skinned Fai child named Ilorie, she wields both healing and harming magic and was sent away from her tribe because of this.

    Jeiryth explains how the present Queen, Azaria Yue Aliiyon's ancestor, King Conzein Xae Aliiyon, King of Alianour had conquered the four other kingdoms, when shortly after his victory a band of Magic-wielding rebels killed his wife who at the time was pregnant with his first child. The king decided in fear and anger that all magic-wielding races would be sent to a dungeon-like labyrinth under Alianour and eventually took another wife.

    However Jeiryth doesn't reveal his cause for holding her hostage.

    They arrive in the kingdom of Orkthet to stay at an inn for the night and regroup. Jeiryth begins dropping hints without revealing the whole plan, although Caleb already knows most of Jeiryth's plan.
    They travel through a couple more cities (Room for subplots here) until they reach a wooden doorway.
    Once inside Jeiryth reveals his plan and motives. He explains how he feels about the current Queen being a descendant of the King who killed a third of the population and how a large percent of people are starving due to high taxes even though the small kingdom of Alianour is thriving. He reveals how the labyrinth connects to the outside of the palace and that he had found the original map (blueprint) of the labyrinth. Ilorie is shocked to discover this but is pusuaded by Jeiryth to stay with them, as Enyra is outright angry about this, and takes her time to rekindle their friendships.

    They travel through the labyrinth and witness the gruesome history of a genocide that took place over two hundred years ago. (This is the main point in the story, its going to have couple subplots) After about sixty days of being trapped with only food-substitute potions made by Ilorie and very little light, they arrive right outside Alianour. Ilorie lulls the gaurds to sleep by casting a sleeping spell and they enter the palace. They find the Queen's bedroom (The setting is night and she is asleep) They discover that she is over seven months pregnant. Jeiryth hands Enyra an old obsidian dagger. After a few rushed minutes of Contemplation she decides she can't kill the Queen (The queen is awake at this point)
    She tells Jeiryth that history is just repeating itself and that she won't harm the unborn child with unknown potential. Jeiryth mutters something along the lines of "If you want to get things done do them yourself."
    Jeiryth tries to grab the dagger out of her hands when Enyra stabs Jeiryth.

    After this I'm either going to flash foward where Enyra and Caleb mentor the young child to be a leader that rules with kindness...
    Or I might take a different route and have Enyra and the others sentenced to death.

    Anyways what my question is do I need to have two POVs or just one.
    I think if I add another POV/Plot with Queen Azaria then the reader might bond with her more.
    I want to add subplots of Azaria struggling with pregnancy and her weight (Since her build is going to be more on the plump side) I want to add a character that serves as her adviser and not to mention her forced relationship with the King who she has been married to since she was thirteen. I want the reader to see that even though she seems like a tyrant, that she is capable of struggling just in a different form.

    I also want to add a side plot of Enyra and Caleb being in a relationship but I don't know if that would ruin this story.
  2. Sam Frost

    Sam Frost Member

    Dec 8, 2015
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    Well, who is the original narrator? I was assuming Enyra, since she seems to be the protagonist. I think using the queen as another narrator wouldn't be a bad idea, but if you want to emphasize the fact that she's not the main narrator, don't give her as many chapters/scenes to tell. I do agree that this might help bond readers to her character, especially if she isn't normally introduced until the very end.

    As for the side plot with Enyra and Caleb, just from reading your synopsis above I almost had that feeling, so perhaps it the natural course of the characters to have this story told. Does that make sense?

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