problems with these sentences?

He crossed the yard, kicking at any can he passed.

She cried, gasping in terrible pain.

 

Fine.

Is she gasping or crying? Make up your mind. You're saying she's gasping while she's crying.

"She gasped at the terrible pain and cried."

This fix implies that she gasps, then cries, but not both at the same time.

 

ignore the second one...going to the first...you don't see a problem in tense?

 

No. Crossed, passed - past tense. Kicking can be past or present. Reads ok to me.

 

along the line of the past continuous...?

 

As long as there's a comma and not a full stop it's fine.

 

Your gerund works fine as long as it's separated by a comma.

"He crossed the yard, kicking at any can he passed."

"Kicking at any can he passed, he crossed the yard."

Are both perfectly correct.

 

thank you kindly....ran into a lengthy discussion today that explored this and ultimately all were confused