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  1. khor

    khor New Member

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    Question about using the words stealth and combat

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by khor, Feb 27, 2012.

    I'm having trouble with this sentence:

    Combat and cloaking aren't really that bad the first few times you do them.

    The "do" is what I'm having trouble with. Is that the correct way to write that?
     
  2. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I wouldn't use "do" in that context.

    Are "combat" and "stealth" modes? Or are they commands?

    How about "the first few times you try them," or even simply "the first few times."
     
  3. AntisocialMoose

    AntisocialMoose Member

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    Seems right to me. Are you just confused as to whether you "do" cloaking and "do" combat?

    But I come from a World of Warcraft background so I honestly might be thinking of the words wrong since the only time I hear them is in that game. :p
     
  4. JPGriffin

    JPGriffin Senior Member

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    Hmm... It seems awkward even before "do." You're using a noun (Combat) and a verb (Cloaking) and describing both of them with a single adjective. Try either "Fighting" in place of combat, so the sentence reads:

    "Fighting and cloaking aren't really that bad the first few times you (try) them."

    or "Stealth" in place of cloaking:

    "Combat and stealth aren't really that bad the first few times you (use/try) them."

    Then again, I'm no grammar buff, but I know an awkward sentence when I see one, so feel free to correct me.

    EDIT: I just saw how "Cloaking" can be used as a noun. Sorry, ignore the top paragraph, but I'd still suggest the word change. I instinctively saw "cloaking" as a verb, which only means readers will too.
     
  5. khor

    khor New Member

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    I don't know. They are things you do in a video game.

    Yes that is what I am confused about.
     
  6. khor

    khor New Member

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    Use sounds awkward to me with combat though.
     
  7. khor

    khor New Member

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    As for try, I don't want it to sound like an attempt but a successful execution. So I can't use that either.
     
  8. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    That would make them verbs in imperative case. You would not "do" them.

    The problem is, you are not using the words in their ordinary parts of speech.

    You may want to call them the "stealth" and "combat" commands. As commands, you can use or try them. Calling them commands lets you treat them as nouns.
     
  9. khor

    khor New Member

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    It has to be cloaking though. How about "stealth by cloaking" or something like that?

    Edit: So it would be:
    Combat and stealth by cloaking aren't really that bad the first few times you use them.
     
  10. TheIllustratedMan

    TheIllustratedMan Active Member

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    I'd reword the whole sentence. Something like:

    The first few times you enter combat or cloak really aren't that bad.

    OR

    The combat and stealth systems are easy to learn.
     
  11. AntisocialMoose

    AntisocialMoose Member

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    Can I ask what you are writing? You say it's for a video game. Having a video game back ground I might be able to help you.

    You might even just need to break the sentences apart: Combat isn't really that bad the first few times you try it. Neither is stealthing. ("Stealthing" is how I would say it in WoW. Not grammatically accurate, but it's gamespeak. )
     
  12. khor

    khor New Member

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    It's for the new Deus Ex. In it stealthing and cloaking are two different things which is why it has to be cloaking somehow.
     
  13. khor

    khor New Member

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    I don't mean about learning, I mean about the quality. And it's about finishing them, not entering them.
     
  14. AntisocialMoose

    AntisocialMoose Member

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    Ah I got it. Then I would use "do" or "try".

    The funny thing about game language is you don't have to be completely grammatically accurate adn it makes complete sense to the gamers. :) Even if the grammar Nazis beat you for it, the gamer will know what you're talking about - and that's the important part.
     
  15. khor

    khor New Member

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    Actually I'm submitting this somewhere that is very strict about grammar, so it has to be accurate, which is why I am asking here.
     
  16. khor

    khor New Member

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    Anyone have any feedback for this:
    ?

    If not I might just go with

     
  17. AntisocialMoose

    AntisocialMoose Member

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    O_O really. Hm. Where are you submitting it? *curious curious curious*

    I would have to know more about the functions of combat and cloaking in the game to help you write the sentence, I think.


    Could you say something like "cloaked combat" or "cloaking while in combat"?

    Edit: your above post works, too!
     
  18. TheIllustratedMan

    TheIllustratedMan Active Member

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    Well then... I'd pull the whole thing apart and write a paragraph about what you actually mean. If you want to talk about how "really not that bad" those two systems are, then talk about it. The sentence doesn't work.
     
  19. khor

    khor New Member

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    I will do that, but I want this sentence in there too. I guess I got it anyway. Thanks guys.
     
  20. digitig

    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    And if you fail, aim to fail spectacularly. That way you might at least get to start a new internet meme, and all our base are belong to you!
     
  21. Siknote

    Siknote New Member

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    How about, 'Combat and cloaking aren't really that bad the first few times you attempt them.'
     

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