1. Slippery

    Slippery New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2008
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Quick question.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Slippery, Apr 1, 2009.

    Which one is correct? Secret option 3 (neither) is also okay.

    1. Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than he was of the king. That was because the king did not have such a volatile temper.

    2. Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than he was of the king. This was because the king did not have such a volatile temper.

    Thx
     
  2. Marcelo

    Marcelo Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    841
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Sonora, Mexico
    I think both can be applied, but correct me if I'm wrong :p
     
  3. KP Williams

    KP Williams Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2007
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    My place
    I think that both work, but that number 2 sounds better. Just my opinion.
     
  4. Slippery

    Slippery New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2008
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0
    I like the second one better, too. :) Thanks, guys!
     
  5. Phantasmal Reality

    Phantasmal Reality New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Sacramento, CA
    I personally would go with:

    Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than he was of the king, because the king did not have such a volatile temper.

    or

    Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than he was of the king--the king did not have such a volatile temper.

    But if I have to pick one of the two you presented, I think the second fits better.
     
  6. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    ditto on the second sounding better... but neither is great, imo...
     
  7. Castlesofsand

    Castlesofsand Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,279
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Canada
    i'd use neither, the because says the same thing so you are just repeating what's been said
     
  8. architectus

    architectus Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Ca
    Violent tempered Big Blue scared Guile more than the king.

    I think that implies the same thing.

    Big Blue scared Guile more than the king.

    Then maybe show why the king is not as scary.

    Big Blue scared Guile more than the king because, unlike the king, he had a violent temper.
     
  9. lynneandlynn

    lynneandlynn New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2009
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Both are correct--neither sound all that great. They both create unneeded wordiness. Go with something simpler, like

    "Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than the king because the king didn't have such a volatile temper."

    or

    "Guile was more afraid of Big Blue than the king because Big Blue's temper was much more volatile."
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice