Got a dumb-ass neighbor. Not a real one. Other neighbors call him that. Not an irritating neighbor but then again he's far enough away not to be irritating, just to those who live across the street and next door. It the kids. But I say: SO WHAT? They're active and mostly in a good way. Granted I'm probably just far enough away to say that. Taylor, Bailey and Chance, named because they took a chance and lost with another boy. Success on the fourth with Madison. Now I'm to their dog. ACE. And it names that play such a crucial roll in life and that's my fucking rant. My son and daughter-in-law have chosen the name Ace for their baby boy. Well fuck me with a chain saw! How in the hell can parents name children such fucked-up names?! Ace is as is worse than Moon Unit, the child of acid dropping Frank Zappa, a guitarist from the sixties. Hell! My damn dumb-ass neighbor's got more sense! It won't affect my life but what happens to kids named Ace? If nothing else matters in life, names do. How others react to a name create a reality through perception. What kind of girls would date an Ace? What kind of girl takes an Ace to meet parents? Oh yeah! The kind with a father in jail and mom's some basket case on drugs. The kind of girl that has a fucking snake tattoo on the top of her ass-crack. And when they get serious, she'll add the umpteenth fucking rattle on the snake's tail. Is it just me or what? How can you not have a couple of back-up names just in case when you see the little guy, "Oh Shit! He's not that one in a hundred million who should be named Ace! This is Patrick! This is Jacob!" There's a greater chance the little fella will come out looking like a Moon Unit or a Jingleheimer-Schmidt Anyways, my little Mikey has grown up to think Ace is such a cool name...Just like the fucking dog down the street. Either he's retarded or it's providence. Could be both. Had nowhere else to go with this and still don't feel better.