Last night, I had an epiphany about my writing. It consisted of thoughts that had already been present in my consciousness, but that suddenly burst to the forefront and began clamoring for resolution. The epiphany was: I wanted a writing career because of money. I wanted to escape my disability check so that I could have some slight shred of dignity and self-worth. I wanted to have a normal income and be able to afford the things other people take for granted on their normal incomes. And writing is the only thing I can do even remotely well (because I'm not even all that skilled at wiping my butt). So my goal during the last spate of writing had been to launch a professional writing career, where my writing would support me. But I don't know whether that's realistic. Very, very few writers manage to support themselves through writing. I don't know anyone on this forum who is a true professional fully supporting themselves through writing income. The great Philip K. Dick spent his whole life nearly broke and living like a bum, so what chance do I have? I'm still going to write, but, if my goals weren't realistic, then I'll approach writing differently. I'll write only first drafts because that's what I most enjoy, editing only while re-reading the drafts for enjoyment. I'll write only when I feel the desire to do so and put absolutely no pressure on myself to "produce" when I don't feel like it. I can still show my writing to people who are interested in reading it, and I might even self-publish on a website under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Unported Licence, but I shan't make attempts at commercial publication or at selling my work for money. All of that depends, however, on whether my old goals for writing are meaningful or just foolish fantasy. Does anyone have any wisdom for me?