hopefully this will be a safe community to help share my love for reading and writing. Sorry to vent but, I'm just frusterated. Everyday I would read alot, from many different subjects. As a kid, I was very curious about everything. but as an adult, this curiousity never went away. I was diagnosed with autism (Aspergers) around age 20 . It's very mild people tell me. I feel like Dr.Faust alot, in the second rendition of Goethe's verison . I think in the first verison, Dr.Faustus, it has a much sadder ending. I hope to have a better ending like the second verison in Dr.Faust. Maybe I'm mistaken and Faust was written by a different author than Goethe. But I can relate to this story more than anything, except one other literacy work. Flowers for Algernon. For some reason, this story hit me hard. It hit like like a ton of bricks. It made me feel like Icarus, when he flew too close to the sun when Daedelus, his father gave him waxen wings, and told him to fly the right path, not too high or low. If he flew too high; he'd burn up in the sun and his wings would melt. He would plummet to the sea and drown, thus the Icarus sea was named after him. Or if he wasn't too careful, in another myth, if he flew too low, his wings would get wet in the ocean and he would also drown. He had to fly the middle path. I like trying new foods too. I've tried all authetic cuisines from korean, japanese, phillipino,cuban, mexican, peruvian, chinese, vietnamese, columbian, middle eastern, greek, iraqi and indian foods. I like trying new things. i'm really open to new experiences. Sorry if this is a story of my life, I just need a place to vent right now.. I like trying new foods because it gives me new experiences to try things. Sometimes I feel like people are missing out on alot of great foods if they don't try other foods outside their own. There's so much to try. I really like Korean bbq and yakiniku (Grilled meat), takoyaki is good too (Pancake batter with octupus,very popular in osaka). I've taught myself japanese the last 2 years...but it's hard to self study. I like sociology alot, learning japanese, philosphy, nutrition and dietetics, I really study everything . Sometimes people say I'm too trusting of other people...or too naive. I guess that's part of the aspergers. Maybe this seems a bit like Charlie Godon's Diary in Flowers for Algernon. I often feel like him, wanting to be smart so people could like me, especially as a child. I guess that why I can relate so much to his story. I never grew narissistic or emotional devoid like he does in the story, though. I always seemed to care about other people; although he does reach self-actualization in the book later on with his teacher. I guess I just wanted to introduce myself here. Nice to meet you all. it was nice being able to share my interests, and I hope to find others that share the same. I also really love magic, people say I'm pretty good at it and I like to do sponge and coin magic. thanks for reading!
Being a touch OCD, I can see the problem as the OP perceives it. You can't think about or care about every nuance in the human experience. However, for some people they cannot shut off the internal switch. And the public sometimes sticks their collective noses into things that are none of their business. For example, I live near a very liberal college town. Yikes, they whine about everything. And if you don't swallow the whole spiel then somehow "you don't care." The nagging is oppressive. I believe the OP is reaching out and including us in a very personal aspect of his life. One of my wife's studies as a teacher was in speech pathology for Aspergers children. I never thought about the condition much until I met a sufferer. I used to set up at a sporting goods store, and one of my clients was Aspergers. He carried numerous napsacks and pouches carbinered to him, and always wanted me to sharpen about five knives when he came in--every Friday at about 4:00PM, every week. I would sometimes see him lugging his possessions around walking to the next bus stop. His problem was not only his condition, but also stemmed from drunken grandparents, and his mother, who must have re-enforced his behavior. He got so bad that he had to wean himself totally off sugar, which he used as his own coping drug. There are lots of folks out there who suffer from things we dismiss. I'm BP II, and yes, it has been a problem. We should talk to this OP. Learn about him. Read his stories. He has a unique perspective.
I totally agree. In another thread a poster was asking what would make a story different (as in refreshingly different)? I think stories from this OP's perpective with his unique voice will come close to answering that question. To the OP, I say, people take many years to find their own unique voice/perspective, you already got that. Now use your stories to reach out. BTW, how was the Indian food? (I am Indian, so I just had to ask )
I too love to try new foods. whenever I travel, I like to try the food native to the area, whether it be octopus, haggis (now one of my favourites along with smoked salmon for breakfast), crawfish ettouffe, or mole chicken (chicken with chocolate sauce). You're right, you never know what might be a new favourite unless you try.
I've never felt listened to. Thank you so much. Everywhere I Go, (Except the magic community, like magic and illusion tricks) on these forums people invalidate me, reject me, and are sometimes downright abusive. People think I'm "emo", or a "troll". I tried talking on the philsophy forums, but my posts weren't up to their "caliber" they said. They were very mean to me. I mentioned to them, I accepted their point of view, and if they couldn't accept mind and continued to treat me that way -- I was going there anymore. As a teenager and child, I got addicted badly to an online video game, it was all text, no graphics. I hated the idea of a graphical game with time, I couldn't use my imagination. In this game they'd create addicting pay events to keep people hooked. And I was hooked to it. I would play it non stop, everyday, for 12 years. I wouldn't leave my room. I was absent from school ALOT from it. My parents didn't do anything about it, because nothing they tried worked; and as they said , "Do anything to make it stop."...the game made me angry like a drug. But, my dad was either very controlling or no control. When I wasn't playing the game, I was reading online encylopedias. I read physical books too, like Flowers for Algernon, Japanese Demystified, Volatire's Micromega, Candedi, and some of Zazig, I read Karl Marx's means of production -- and couldn't understand why people gave him a bad name. He was born before communism even happened in the USSR, and he wanted the best for humanity, even though he was pessmistic about human nature, not the worst! I have my own personal views on things, of course. But I'm trying to understand others people view points, even if it hurts. Because when I'm reading about other peoples experiences in books, it seems to have an empathic effect on me. It's like I feel the pain they went through, and I start crying. I never felt loved, my dad never showed affection. As Charlies Dickens said in the his Book Hard Times: "Dear reader! It rests with you and me, whether, in our two fields of action, similar things shall be or not. Let them be! We shall sit with lighter bosoms on the hearth, to see the ashes of our fires turn gray and cold." And one I can relate to alot: "“How could you give me life, and take from me all the inappreciable things that raise it from the state of conscious death? Where are the graces of my soul? Where are the sentiments of my heart? What have you done, oh, Father, What have you done with the garden that should have bloomed once, in this great wilderness here? Said louisa as she touched her heart.” " ^^ (nevermind. This has more to do with Lousia being emotionally void from her father Mr.GradGrind and others. "Facts, just the facts' and imagination seemed to be stifled. This is her coming to terms with it with her father, and her father coming to terms with her and realizing his errors. Something my father never did, as he says he's always right.") I was reading a theory called Positive Disintegary and how most people fit into primary integration, fullfilling their own selfish egos for their own reasons. The next step, is the majority of the population that doesn't seem to question things. They follow other people. They project themselves through society's external values. They follow the flock of a bird. There's another level after that, called "spontaneous multilevel integration". Individuals start to question "what is" vs "What ought to be" and there's an internal conflict between society and the self. After that, following slowly into something called secondary integration, where one breaks off from society, and adopts his own viewpoints, values, and spreads the message in his or her unique skillset. I can relate to this theory alot. I'm not gifted, but I can relate to the OE (Overexcibility) aspect. I seem to do well socially, but everytime I come home severely depressed, and, sad to say, I cry alot at home about how the world is. I feel like I'm going in the wrong direction. I don't understand these barriers people put up on themselves. 2 years ago, I remember clearly, I was riding my bicycle down the street slowly, and saw a mentally challenged man in the side walk. He was really friendly, and asked me, "How are you doing?". Most people would usually reply... "Sorry, do I know you?" But what does it matter? I feel we're all brothers and sisters, and most people forget that, when they wage certain battles...Carl Jung mentioned this in his book Pscyhology of the Unsconsious. I feel this is a big problem. I'm sorry to go off in rants. Dale Carnegie says in his book, I've read it many times, and remind myself of the principals in the book constantly: "Show geniune interest in other people. Try and see how the other person would feel, or why they'd do a certain action. From their perspective." You guys are very mature for trying to care to understand what Im' saying, and showing interest. I cannot express how much I appreciate that.
It was good. My favorite is Gulab Jamun. And I like paneer alot. It's a different type of cheese. Also anything with lentils and indian curry. (seems to be used for everything). Tandoori chicken is also pretty awesome, and things like kebabs and such which I think is more middle eastern. I like trying different foods. Sometimes they're good, sometimes not, mostly good though, and I like learning about other people's culture and food. I think food binds people and societies together: It gives them something in common. Everyone eats! Sometimes its even a social thing! So I try every food from around the world here in the USA. I travel on my bicycle sometimes 40 or 50 miles between 3 cities, exploring and looking for good restaurants. So far I've tried (all authetic, I'm pretty sure) Phillipino, Cuban,Columbian,Iranian,Greek,Korean,Japanese,Mexican,Peruvian,american,British,Polish,Jamaican, Indian,Iraqi,Thai,vietnamese,Chinese (Real chinese!), and some others I can't remember them all. Favorite is greek, and Peruvian. Korean is also a favorite. I have kimchi and bulgogi in my fridge, but also like the kimchi soups, and other dishes like Bibibab. I type alot, because I am pretty good at typing. I competed in the United States Championship, people across the USA competed. I got into 3rd place. My typing speed was 168 WPM with 98% accuracy. I got into the semi finals. I didn't answer my email and got disqualified for not answering in time. So,I'm not on the page. Otherwise I would be, and may have made it to the finals at the SWSX ...and possibly won 5K. It's from my video game I was addicted to. It was all text, so all I'd do was type. I'd type and stay up for 4 days straight, not sleeping, I put in countless hours, probably definitely over 10,000 hours. 20 hours a day...sometimes. Mostly 12 hours a day or a little less. I regret that. But the email said this: "Congratulations, thousands across the United States have competed. And you're one of the fastest typists in the United States! You've made it to the semi finals. We need your ID and a couple other things to verify your Identity." I don't believe it though.
You owe me nothing. Hey, to most people being BP II means you're really insane. Most people fear and distrust people like that, or those involved in my hobbies. It's a matter of thick skin. However, I am sorry about the way people treat you. If anything, the sin is on them. I read your prose--every word--and I see a person I should really get to know. You have value, and we need to learn that. Keep writing. Tell us about your stories. Even if it's just me and the mutt here who listen and derive a meaning. Just remember, the great thinkers of yore were considered crazier than I am, so that shows the collective intelligence of the great unwashed. I look forward to more of your thoughts.
Ok. Thanks so much for listening ! My psychiatrist tells me that that our differences , the inequality in the world included, is what makes the world an interesting and good place. Reading my sociology book, it mentions that most sociologist go with Max Weber's view, that some inequality is neccessary, but not ALL is, especially if it questions the status quo. I was reading how hard it is to make a society where everyone is equal. Orginally, my views were more socialism, but then I realized that may not be the answer either. The problem with communism is that not everyone WILL pitch in always, it works in china maybe, but it may not be the answer completely. Think of it like a family..people are supposed to pitch in, and if everyone does,it might work, but not everyone does. The book quotes George Orwell's book, "Some animals are equal, but some are more equal than others." It's useless for me to get upset by the problems in the world. Because I'm beginning to realize the true challenge in creating a "perfect" society. There is none. Some inequality, even crime, probably is necessary. People are imperfect. Marx's "utopian" society probably couldn't exist. Emile Durkheim was alot more optimistic, unlike Marx sometimes was in some of his views, but Max Weber had a combination of them both. Democracy might actually be ideal (I don't know if any goverment is ideal now!) because it allows a neutral view. Right in the middle. Of course, there's some things i think in democracy we sometimes don't have all the freedom we think we have. I disagree with war. I even disagree with the military. All military, doesn't matter the country. If B.F Skinner was right that Praise works much, much better than hurtful Criticisms, then metaphorically and literally we are fighting fire with fire. Gandhi demonstrated that it was possible to not have war - at least for a little bit, but eventually the indian people revolved, and it went back to the way it was. We might win the small wars, but the big war...it always comes back. Wars I think, destroy ties among nations. I need to read more about this, because this is just my opinion, I'm not sure it's empirically true. There's a story in Buddism (I'm not religious anymore) where there's a giant demon. And the king leaves this palace, where everything is good and just. The king leaves, and the demon comes in. The king won't he back; he's on vacation. The demon sits in the kings chair. People start coming to the demon, "Be banished, Evil One!" and begin verbally threatening him, yelling at him, and physically attacking him. After every harassment, attack (verbally and physically) he begins to grow larger. He menacingly cackles, as he grows larger from their own ignorance. He begins to become so large and ugly, that the soldiers are completely powerless to stop him. Eventually, the king overhears and comes. He says to them, "You fools! You're doing the very thing he wants you to do!" and the king treats him with respect and kindness. He offers him wine, champagne, the finest in foods at the time, and he slowly is confused, and shrinks smaller and smaller, until he disappears entirely.
Ha, ha. How did you get an advanced copy of my book? I too have learned to temper my disgust with the problems of the world. I look forward to better times. And like you, I realize that I have to get down into the gutter to fight these people, and frankly, I do not believe they have the courage to seek me out on fair ground. I hope you're working on a book. Perhaps when both our works are published we can go on a book tour together. I can see it now, "The Sublimely Ridiculous And Their Books."
Considering the three brutal wars between India and Pakistan (the two nations together was Gandhi's India), I would say we have actually gone worse. I like paneer a lot too, and I can cook them as well
