I have a supernatural character. She's a low-ranking demon who is sent to a human high school on some kind of specific, not-very-important assignment from Hell. I already made up a possible reason for her to go to high school... But, quite frankly, it skeeves me out a bit, and I'm wondering if anyone else thinks it's weird. The idea is that she is part of a group of demons who have been sent to Earth to incite humans to be violent or cruel to them, without revealing that they're demons. The humans think they are being violent/cruel to another person, and that evil intent is what seals their fate and makes them more likely to go to Hell after they die. The main character's job description is basically to go to a human high school and act weird and loner-like and unappealing on purpose. If the students begin to make fun of her or hurt her or do other nasty things, that stains their own souls and counts against them later. However... Is there something politically incorrect about having a character who is literally just "asking for it"? I don't want to insult anyone who was actually the victim of bullying or imply that they were just asking for it. Do you guys think this idea is okay, or do you have a better idea to explain why a demon would be sent to a high school? EDIT: Thanks for all your answers! I'm going to keep the original post up for now, but I no longer need answers to the question above. Instead, I thought of a totally different reason for the demon to be in a high school, and I explained it near the bottom of the first page. I still need some input on the new idea though (like what characters' POV it should be written in) so the thread is still open for answers and comments
I think this idea makes sense. Sending a demon out to stir up trouble. Isn't that what they do? High school seems a reasonable place for this to happen since teenagers don't always use sound judgement and offten do things they shouldn't. They seem like an easy target to lead astray.
Hi, So she's there to corrupt young souls? Sounds about right to me. But by inciting them to be violent and cruel to her seems a little counter productive. Even if she's unable to be harmed. How about by spreading gossip / lies instead. Whispers in the classroom. Sowing the seeds of discontent. Elevating some only so that they can be torn down later by others. Marking others as victims right for the picking just so they can learn hatred. A few well chosen words can do more harm than all the guns you can carry. Cheers, Greg.
Personally, this would break my suspension of disbelief. A demon would surely think of much bigger, better and more insidious ways of corrupting human beings.
Ah but do the legions of Hell have a finite number? I've always liked the idea it is human vice and cruelty (emotion in general) that fuels these kind of nasties. Doesn't have to be all wars and murder. Being the high school bully is still a big evil, at least in the minds of the teenagers in the vicinity. And I'm not sure about you but I've come across a few arseholes in my time in work environments and the like who struck me as bullies who never grew up. In that regard such action could be a great way of priming certain souls to become the bastards of tomorrow.
Make the demon an over-righteous fundamental bible thumper. Two birds one stone. She is planting seeds of hate and focusing that hate at the Bible. Remember, she is a demon. Demons are mean. If the character does not offend or upset any of your readers, you might rethink Hell.
I like both of these comments. I think the idea is a little low-key. Perhaps the demon doesn't want to just plant little moments of evil in peoples childhoods. Perhaps instead they are put their to gain the trust of the children to manipulate them later in life to more unthinkable deeds. So rather than acting as the outcast, the demon would act as one of the 'cool kids'.
Why not have the demon incite students to bully OTHER loners? Honestly, this sounds like a lot more fun. You can make the demon as hot, funny, and obnoxious as you want, which I think provides for a much more entertaining MC than a quiet, weird, loner. If I were to steal this concept and make it my own, I'd make the demon some ultra hot, loud mouthed girl, in a modern high school, where students are much more PC and anti bullying, then let's say, the 80's, and have the demon try desperately to riot the other students based on conceptions she has from old high school flicks, that simply no longer imply. Edit: Sorry, there's more. About halfway through the story I'd have her change sides. Once she's polarized the school, and slept with half the boyfriends of the "popular kids", creating dissent within their own ranks, and resentment of her, I'd have her cross over to the side of the loners, who she tricks into pitying her for being a 'loose girl, without moral direction or self esteem.' By the climax of the novel, she's tricking these nice, gentle, loners, into being as mean as the bullies from the first half of the book.
I don't see any problem with it nor do I see it as offending anyone but maybe bringing light into what is a serious problem in many high schools. Sure in this one instance that person is evil but it happens to innocent people all the time. I would assume the demon had to find out who was getting bullied? It sounds to me like the bullies would get their in the end. I'm interested in the story. Good luck with your writing!
If hell is an organisation as you imply, why are they bent on mischief? Surely the dark lord has bigger fish to fry. Perhaps a future world leader attends the school and hell wants to get him/her while they're still young. What does hell get out of the protagonist's mission? Teeangers are bastards to each other on their own, I don't think they need a low ranking demon's help.
I agree with this and a few other comments on this thread. A demon going to high school seems a little low. There has to be a bigger mission that makes them being at high school important. If it were my story, that would only be the first part. What I would do is break the book into sections in time. In each section the demon and the characters are a little older, and in each section the demon work hard to fulfil a plot and corrupt some characters at different stages in their lives. Then the last section wold probably feature some of those same corrupted characters in positions of power, and--lo and behold-- the demon is interfering again to incite them to commit bigger more nefarious acts of hatred and violence. Things with more major impacts in the world. As I see it, high school is too small scale and really catering to young high school students who are fascinated with the paranormal dealing with basic high school issues. If you wanted to write that story, you could write a better high school based story without the demon. Now if you want, you could give "Hell" (I would probably call it something that we don't already call it) and the demons an orderly system in which young demons deal with young people. If you expressly state that somewhere, then even in the absence of a grand master plan, the young demon has a reason to be in the high school setting. But even young demons are cunning. I would think of much more damaging things the demon could/would/should do. Inciting bullying is still to small scale. We humans can do that. Now Inciting bullying, reviving race or class or gender hatred, systematically plotting student body anarchy are some pretty good ones. And For added intensity, You could say that the presence of the demon naturally draws out a persons inner darkness and over time turns them into cold, unsympathetic, selfish, versions of themselve that really takes the idea of hatred and anarchy to a new level. Just food for thought. Good luck with your writing. I hope you can succeed in coming up with a story that can stand on its own and build its own merit in a genre flooded with this type of plot. Sincerely!
Or your demon could be incarnating into a high school student because and Angel is has incarnated into a student as well. In this case there would be constant friction between good and evil.
A thought: What if she _doesn't_ try to make the kids dislike her? What if she has some other plan, but before she can carry it out, some minor failure in playing a convincing teenager causes the taunting and bullying to start without her ever working to achieve that? As a minor variant, what if she shows up confidently intending to be a popular social leader, so that she can more directly goad kids into being bullies, but instead of following her leadership the kids start to bully her?
Why, "Hell Inc." is there to corrupt humanity, the majority of 'sins' are small, bordering on insignificant. Also as I said before, I doubt Satan has a limited employee pool considering the supernatural... thing. What would stop Satan conjuring as many daemons out of thin air as it felt necessary?
New Idea Wow, there have been a lot of replies to this thread! They've definitely made me re-think my idea, lol. Here's my new and (hopefully!) less stupid idea: The demon was sent there to be a bad influence on one specific student at the school. This student is a really messed up guy and has fantasies about killing or torturing people, but he isn't a complete psychopath and has just enough of a conscience to restrain himself from actually killing a human. However, the demons know that if they can convince him to kill someone within the next year or so while he's still young, he will become one of the most prolific serial killers in America. He purposely stays apart from others and doesn't get too close to them so as to avoid the temptation. He's never had a girlfriend. The demon girl actually pays attention to him and is nice to him, unlike the other students, and she's basically trying to make him be attracted to her. She hopes that if she gets really close to him and tempts him into murdering her (actually, the human body she is possessing at the moment) then that will get rid of the last shred of his morals and make him give into his violent fantasies. However, when the demon becomes a student at the high school, a few days later an angel comes to the school too. Both the angel and demon are quite young and inexperienced, because the higher-ups have more important things to do than to focus on one teenage boy. Anyway, so the angel and demon both start talking to the guy, who is quite surprised to get so much attention all of a sudden. Will the angel teach him to control his violent urges, or will the demon tempt him into taking a human life? *lol I got so dramatic there at the end*. So what do you guys think, is this any better than the first idea?
I like the idea of writing about a teenage to-be serial killer! Just do plenty of research on serial killers and their teenage years in particular. You'll probably get plenty of ideas for the plot. Was this supposed to be YA? Is the maybe-serial killer a POV character?
I'm glad you like the idea Yep, I think it would fit into the category of YA, especially since I'm a teenager myself. Do you think he should be a POV character? I've heard somewhere that it's not a good idea to do multiple POVs when you're not a very experienced writer yet, but it does seem like the boy's story also wants to be told... On the flip side, do you think I would lose an important aspect of the story by not including him as a POV character? I don't think I've ever written from a guy's perspective for more than a page or two. (I RP'd a guy character once on the Internet, but the game died pretty quickly.)
*bump* I leave the forums for a day and get like 15 responses, but I want to get someone's input about the answer to a question and get no replies :/ You guys still out there? lol, sorry for sounding impatient, but just curious about your opinions.
I think its a good idea, and I wouldn't worry about the asking for it part of the question. It is unfortunately true that there are victims within the school system who look like they are asking for it (its not right but we don't live in a perfect world) , done right you could even bring this problem forward and show that it is and existing problem within schools and also end up with a good anti heroine. Don't be afraid its a great idea run with it, there are far worse subject matters that could be seen as offensive.
@Supervenom: I should probably make a new thread... Toward the end of the first page, I came up with a totally new idea about the demon's purpose for being in a high school, and I have a question about that idea, but it's lost way down there near the bottom If you see this reply, however, do you think you could take a look at the bottom and give me a bit of input? It's basically asking if a certain character should be a POV character and have chapters written from his perspective.
Oh yeah, your other idea wasn't stupid, but the new idea very interesting. My opinion would be the POV the deamon. With the serial killer is being controlled the reader can watch with morbid fascination as the deamon contorts and manipulates. We become part of the fun, we are in on the joke as it were. Plus it allows for sudden surprises and outbursts from the would be serial killer, as we don't know how it is really effecting him. Being in the head of someone unpredictable isn't as much of an interest as watching "what is going to happen next?" I would say do 3rd person POV focusing on the deamon as a touch base evey so often wit the Serial killer would be beneficial as 1st person on the deamon may make you miss out on some opportunities. Sorry for not getting it first but with so many posts i get confused lol. Hope this helps I'm learning to and think i got what you ment.
Demons are a symbol; like an archetype in human culture... And they can be used to comment on deeper philosophical/religious issues than most other supernatural creatures like vampires and werewolves and such. Things like the nature of free will, the possibility of redemption, etc. I'm not saying my story is going to be really heavy-handed about all of these things, but it's sort of like an undercurrent that gives the story deeper themes. Plus, demons are ****ing awesome! XD
