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  1. EBohio

    EBohio Banned

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    Remembering First Crush

    Discussion in 'Research' started by EBohio, Feb 2, 2019.

    Do you remember clearly your first crush? The moment you knew you were in puberty (even if you didn't know the word puberty)?

    What was it like and how old were you.

    (Only kid to kid stuff, no crushes on adults like a teacher)
     
  2. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    I remember my first crush but that was pre-puberty. I crushed on him when I saw him play drums. I didn't really understand at the time what was happening, but maybe it had something to do with this person having an impressive skill.

    Some 15 years later I married a drummer.:D
     
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  3. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    Hayley Mills. I was 11.
     
  4. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Banned Contributor

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    A drummer of the drummer?
     
  5. Veltman

    Veltman Active Member

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    Yes, I do. I was too dumb at the time and not confident enough to go after her. Turns out she loved me all along (still does). Her grandmother told my mother quite a few times she was with another guy but always loved me. Every once in a while I check to see if she left him so I can fix it, but she's still with him. I guess she gave up.
     
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  6. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    I wanted to fancy a boy for years before I actually got round to fancying anyone at all. No one hot or kind enough at school, honestly. There were a couple of good-looking guys but no one I was drawn to. Looking back, I'm pretty sure a particular boy had a crush on me when I was about 15 or 16. He wasn't known to being a nice guy or someone who listened to teachers, but he would offer to hold my bag, wait for me at the gate to walk home (not in the stalker sense - we'd agree on meeting lol). I still remember he gave me a little slip of scrap paper he'd made into a "card" - you know, one of those jagged-edged notes you pass around classrooms - and it read something like "Crikey! I love love love love love you." And there was a hand-drawn croc on the side. That crikey thing was a joke we had, though I don't remember what the exact joke was now. I kept that little slip of paper for a long time 'cause I genuinely found it so sweet of him.

    I actually didn't fancy him at all and had no idea he was interested in me. He never said as much. But looking back, yeah, I'm sure he liked me. Just a pity I didn't know at the time. So, not my first crush, but I guess first experience of it. I thought he was really sweet.

    An actual first crush - I only had that when I was 17 and it was online, when dating online was still completely stigmatised. Met him over the Cambridge university subforum (the actual forum's exploded and is now gigantic - I don't visit anymore but I frequented it as much as I do WF now back then) We got talking mostly because I was a Christian debating with him, an atheist. It was the first time anyone made me question my faith and think in a different way. I guess that impressed me and intrigued me about him. Got talking on MSN when that was still a thing. Hid the whole thing from parents - they'd have murdered me, I was sure. Met him 3 times before we broke up in the end. Thank God he was a regular kid like myself and exactly who he said he was, because I was a naive little kid who did not practice any precautions with regards to meeting strangers over the internet. Invited him home when no one was around - no one even knew he was coming and parents were away for the weekend. Parents found out in the end, of course, since I was dumb enough to be using my mobile phone to ring him constantly and my parents were still paying my phone bills. Wound up with a £300 bill. I came out with the truth and my parents were very calm and neutral about the whole thing, which made me feel even guiltier for hiding it from them in the first place.

    How did it feel? Exciting, full of butterflies, soul-destroying when we broke up. I wrote such soppy poems about him afterwards - poems that shall never see the light because that's not why I write poems. I write those only to express my feelings and they're not meant to be good. But yeah, I wrote a lot. And listened to a particular Kelly Clarkson single, Behind these hazel eyes. By the way, to this day, I swear that chorus line sounds like "Can't you taste the lies?" which I think is a lot more creative than the actual line. But yeah, trust a 17 year old to weep over shattered visions of her happily ever after over a first crush. Dumb isn't quite the right word - just inexperienced, really. I was taught every relationship should lead to marriage and it was round about then that Joshua Harris' infamous book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye came out and took the churches in the UK by storm. Everyone was talking about it. I entered university afterwards to Christian circles who were abstaining from dating thanks to this book, keeping their first kiss for the altar (yes, this is purity culture, but not half as toxic as the American version). I heard Joshua Harris has recently issued an apology over his book - he was 21 when he published it (again, dumb isn't quite right. Genuinely misguided, perhaps).

    I guess I think of it as all kinda bittersweet. It was fun at the time. I also became very cynical about the church and God and my faith didn't recover till my final year at university when I met my husband (who, incidentally, was a non-Christian when I met him). I think it was an important learning curve though, truth be told. Faith isn't faith till it's been tested to some degree. You could argue that wasn't much of a test at all, but for me, it was, because breaking up was a sacrifice and it was truly the first time I'd come across sound arguments against my beliefs and I had to process that. It was also the first time I became critical about God - not just questioning and having doubts but genuinely angry. I'm still a Christian and my ex is still an atheist - or I think he calls himself an agnostic now - so it's probably all for the best :) We never could agree.
     
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  7. Lemie

    Lemie Contributor Contributor

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    I think my first crush was at 14. We were both outcasts at school and he had a cute lisp. I think those were the only reasons I liked him. Can't remember much about the feelings around it - but I did listen to Björk for him, so I guess there was something there...

    My first experiences with love as an emotion, though, was guilt. Someone liked me and I'd feel bad for not liking them so I'd agree to be their "girlfriend" even though I hated ever minute of it. Just felt like I owed them that because I didn't see my self worth and thought that was what you were supposed to do to keep others happy. This was me between age 8-18 and it's not a healthy way to live.
     
  8. Moon

    Moon Waking Contributor

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    Was 11. Grew up poor, didn't have much. Finally saw my reflection one day,

    *Wink*


    My first crush.
     
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  9. 18-Till-I-Die

    18-Till-I-Die Banned

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    Not a "crush" per se, but this is kinda an interesting recollection...

    So, back in days of yore, when I was just a padawan I was part of this clique called "The Club" and we fancied ourselves kind of bullies-for-hire, marauding around the school and starting fights for money. Like you pay us, we beat up people for you, a kind of mercenary-ish thing I guess. You can't win a fight, we'll handle it, which is how I got a bunch of video games back in the day since all of us Club-types made a lot of cash this way. "Lot" from a teenager's point of view mind you.

    Anyway, so there was this two girls in the school, I won't name names if only out of fealty to my former allies, but they were kinda sisters I think...I never knew much about their homelife but they were either sisters or cousins of some kind. Anywho, the two girls tended to preform...favors for young boys in exchange for money, I recall specifically that a handjob was four quarters to the eldest girl, who struck me as rather desirable because she was more well-endowed. Rather light-skinned, curly hair, very nice looking overall considering we were both fifteen. So in the midst of one of these "favors", it was me and my boy, we called him Dope for...reasons I refuse to reveal due to legal repercussions he may face, but you can imagine. Hey it was Detroit, we were young, sue me. Anyway, me and Dope had gained the good graces of these two girls because we had paid upfront to get paid upfront, if you catch my drift, and I must admit I was smitten with the elder sister and made my feelings known to her. But see, it was never meant to be, because this boy who was basically both of the girls' boyfriend was for all practical purposes pimping them out to make money off of them and she was afraid of what would happen if we committed to any kind of relationship behind his back.

    So I told my boys about this, and Dope decided we would help them by cornering the older boy and, to put it bluntly, beating the shit out of him in the school parking lot. After which the girls were basically free to do what they wanted, as he was no longer an issue since he basically had been humiliated and emasculated in front of the entire school, literally and metaphorically, and so they stopped being his brood mares and went on their merry way. The older girl was quite pleased with this turn of events and so we were kind of a thing for a while after that before a combination of teen emotions and me getting kicked out of the school for "starting a conflict" with a teacher drove us apart. I honestly haven't spoken to her in almost two decades, but that's as close to a crush as I ever had I think.
     
  10. J.T. Woody

    J.T. Woody Book Witch Contributor

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    My first crush was in like kindergarten. I remember I always followed him around. we held hands. during naptime we would push our cots closer to each other and hold hands. then I moved away and came back in the 2nd grade and he was mean to me. i still liked him and i told him that and i still followed him around and tried to talk to him, but he and his friends were so mean. EVERYone liked him. he was mr. popular and his friends were too. they teased me and then teased him for allowing e to follow him around, then to prove his cool points, he started teasing me too. this went on until he moved away in 5th grade (though he did get nicer to me and told his friends to leave me alone).

    After he moved, i had another crush. i told him i liked him and he said he liked my friend and not me. I told another boy i liked him another he told me i was ugly told his girl friends to pick on me because he was told not to hurt girls. so at the water fountain one afternoon they pushed me down on the floor and told me i should be a lesbian because i was so ugly no guy would like me (i didnt know what "lesbian" mean at that age so i asked what that meant, and they laughed at me more and said i was stupid)

    my middle school and elementary school crushes never liked me back. they still said I was ugly and too manly because i played sports and the other girls they liked were girly, wore dresses, lipgloss, alway had fancy hair. I wore my brother's clothes.
    come high school, i had to wear a stupid plaid skirt and a blazer to school so I guess thats when boys started seeing me as another girl and not just one of the boys. I focused on school and not boys because "boys were mean". I did have this crush on this one boy but chose the whole ignore and avoid approach. I had the heart-poundy feeling, I started to sweat. My mind would go blank and i wanted to run away. basically PTSD. I didnt like it and i didnt want it. i told this girl who i thought was a new friend, but she told the whole class including him, and very publicly, the guy told everyone he wasnt interested. so i shut down. didnt talk to anyone. again, focused on my school work. people started calling me weird girl and mean girl. i didnt care. that same guy ended up crushing on me and turned out to be a very great guy. we dated and obviously i brought my insecurities into the relationship, but we kept dating. now we are getting married.
     
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  11. Carly Berg

    Carly Berg Active Member

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    Interesting question. Never really thought about it before but the first crush I remember having was, like J.T. Woody above, on a little boy in kindergarten. I guess he moved away because I don't remember running into him again until junior high. Word got back to me that he finally liked me back but for some reason he no longer appealed to me then.
     
  12. Iain Sparrow

    Iain Sparrow Banned Contributor

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    I was 12, on the edge of 13, and her name was, Wendy.
    From the bushes just beyond her bedroom window I would wait patiently for her. On school days her parents sent her off to bed by ten o'clock in the evening, a little later on Fridays and Saturdays. She was in her Senior year at high school, and me, just a skinny lad she never thought twice about. But night after night, as I watched Wendy brush her hair and get ready for sleep, I knew I'd found my true love. If I couldn't have her, nobody would.
     
  13. EBohio

    EBohio Banned

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    Wow, I'm glad this finally had a happy ending. This thread was supposed to bring up happy memories, you had a rough start there. It's a wonder you like males at all.
     
  14. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I had a crush on a boy named Richard when I was 9 years old. He was transferred to our school in the middle of the year. He was very good looking, but that really wasn't it. I didn't know the story behind him, but I got the impression the teacher didn't like him at all. Richard just sat at the back of the class and didn't do anything much, or say much. There was a rumour that he was a juvenile delinquent ...whatever the hell that meant. At the age of nine, I hadn't a clue.

    Anyway, a couple of weeks after Richard came to the school, we both ended up together in our classroom at recess. He was being kept in because he'd done something that irritated the teacher, and I was kept in because I had a cold. Anyway, for a half hour or so we were on our own, and we started to talk ...and ended up laughing a lot. He was really really nice. We didn't talk about anything personal, just fun stuff. Then all the other kids came back and that was that. However, afterwards, he always stopped by my locker to say hi at the start of the day, and to say goodbye at the end of it. (He rode the bus, while I walked.) He had a lovely smile.

    One day, as she and I were walking to school, I injudiciously admitted to my best friend that I liked Richard. She was so excited that when we got there, she ran up to him and announced, quite loudly, "Oh, guess what? Jan really likes you!" In front of most of the other kids in the class.

    Well ...talk about wanting to crawl away and die. The whole day was torture. I didn't dare even look at him. Of course all the other kids did what you'd expect ..."Jan has a boyfriend, la de da de da da...." I wasn't angry at my best friend because I knew she meant well, and had just been excited for me. But man. I wanted that floor to swallow me up.

    At the end of the day, I shot to my locker to get my stuff, and when I turned around, intending to make my escape, Richard was standing right behind me—with that smile. And he said, "Don't feel bad. I don't mind. I like you too." And then he went for his bus.

    I never saw him again. He wasn't in school the next day, and I found out later that he'd been transferred to another school. I never knew where. I was only nine years old, so I got over it. But I always wondered what happened to him, and I've always hoped he had a good life, even though it didn't start off well. And I'll never forget how comforted I felt, by what he said to me. That's the essence of chemistry, I reckon.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
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  15. cosmic lights

    cosmic lights Contributor Contributor

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    Yes, but it wasn't this earth shattering sensation. I was just aware that I was draw to this boy and wanted him to notice me. I wanted to be where he was. I didn't understand it as a crush at that time.
     
  16. ThunderAngel

    ThunderAngel Contributor Contributor

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    There were two girls in elementary school that I developed strong feelings for: one of them was a very pretty girl who had an odd physical trait, she had extremely hairy arms, which I found immensely attractive. And, being that I looked like a little girly vampire thanks to my own odd physical characteristics, I thought we would make a cute little scary couple.

    The other one was a girl named Anna in 4th grade. She was very bohemian in look, always unkempt hair, and had a very earthy scent to her.

    One day, we were paired together on an astronomy project where we had to draw and color one of the planets or moons in the solar system; I chose Neptune, and I believe she chose Pluto; this was before Pluto was reclassified.

    Well, my attention was divided because, as she leaned over the table to draw and color her planet, her very low hanging neckline dropped almost to the table and I had a clear view of her bare right breast.

    It was agonizing for me because I was voraciously aroused while I was trying to focus on my other passion – astronomy. While the hairy girl reminded me of a sexy werewolf, Anna reminded me of a mermaid with her billowy ocean blues, wild sandy brown hair, and natural scent, and I was almost breathless with desire when her top exposed her.

    To explain, I was able to experience such potent feelings long before puberty; it’s one of the things that made childhood so tumultuous. But, it was always the odd girl that attracted me, never the “Normal’ girl. Normal girls didn’t like me because I looked kind of spooky to them: exeedingly introverted, very pale skin, long dark hair, intense green eyes, no boyish features to speak of etc.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  17. EdFromNY

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    My first crush was a girl in my 1st grade class named Ellen. She had beautiful huge eyes, and I was completely smitten. I invited her to my 7th birthday party, and when we played Simon Says (I was Simon, of course), I at one point said, "Simon says the boys kiss the girls". Pandemonium ensued, during which time I realized that because I was Simon, I couldn't use it as cover to kiss Ellen. Sigh.
     
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  18. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    This may sound wiggy, but I do believe in forerunners of this kind.
     
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