Repetition Hey guys, I have a simple, get annoying problem, that I'd like your advice on. Simply put, I have three teenager friends who play crucial in my novel - think Harry, Ron and Hermione. However, when I refer to them, I always end up referring to them as "the three teenagers" or "the three friends", or else just listing their names. It just sounds stupid, repetitive and, if I list their names, a bit of a mouthful. I just can't seem to avoid doing so, though. Any advice? Any ways I can avoid having to say these things, or ways I can not refer to them? Thanks!
Is it necessary to constantly refer to them as a group? Hard to say in the abstract, but maybe you wouldn't need to refer to them as a group if you can refer to them as individuals doing or saying something. Showing a conversation or some type of cooperative endeavor might better serve the story.
I am actually reading it now with my son. We're almost done with the second book, and I'm mostly surprised at how poorly written I'm finding it, so I'm reluctant to hold it up as any sort of ultimate role model. However, I don't recall her referring to the threesome as a trio or as a threesome or as a group. More often, if I recall correctly, she talks about Harry doing something. Then she references Ron and Hermione. There is quite a bit of "Ron and Hermione," actually. So, for whatever that's worth -- I agree that maybe the OP should pull out his old HP books and see how Rowling did it.
Yeah, for some odd reason, ready Harry Potter again never struck me as an option. But, like chicagoliz said, from what I remember, it's largely centred around Harry. My three are more collected at the moment, they're all feeling lost and are being led around, so they tend to feel or do similar things, for example: "The three teenagers were awed by what they saw." Or "The three friends leapt back in fright but were quickly assured that the thing was not dangerous" Stuff like that. From what I remember from Harry Potter, it's often Harry doing stuff separately. I'll still give it a re-read though!
Writing Buddy Post This is why I haven't read past book five. Even then I only read the fifth volume because I needed something to occupy my mind one Christmas Day (growing up I occasionally celebrated Christmas on a later date because of my father's job requiring him to work holidays). Is the word "they" not sufficient? I know it's not an exciting word, but as a reader I would like to see a writer express any repetitive phrases in as few words as possible. Couldn't you even scrap "three"? I've never felt the need when writing about a group of characters to refer to them in their numbers.
Dude, if you got through the first five books, you've already suffered through the brunt of it. She got better and better with each book, and by the sixth and seventh, I was pretty impressed by her progress. Either that or she got better editors... Not saying you have to read them or anything...
My Intro to Catechetics professor actually referred to two of my friends and me as "the trinity" during a class when we answered too many questions! Back to the OP: Call them a band or company. It sounds neat and kind of heroic. Then again, if you use "band" they might think you're doing a Guardians of Ga'Hoole takeoff.
Whose viewpoint are you writing from? Judging from what you've posted here, you're using an omniscient narrator. It might help if you wrote each scene from the VP of a single character; then you wouldn't have to refer to all three at once. E.g., Harry was awed by what he saw. Judging by the way Ron and Hermione stared open-mouthed at the thing, they were too.
Just vary it, use any of the above suggestions at different times but I do think you need to mention them individually by name some of the time if you want the reader to get to know them as individuals. they will surely have some personal quirks and personality differences that you want to get across. So the 'harry was awed by what he saw........ they were too' idea is useful even if they are all doing the same thing.
I would also like to point out that, if there's a single quality that sets these three apart from the rest of the people in the rest of your novel, they could be referred to by that aspect. There are four redheads in my family, myself included, and every Christmas, my aunt takes a picture of all of us together. So we'll all be outside, and we'll hear "ALL THE REDHEADS OVER TO AUNT SUE'S HOUSE!" I'm not saying that this is necessarily the case in your novel, but if there is something that these three individuals have that set them apart, that could be another way of referencing them.
As much as possible, put the focus on one of them at a time. If they all do the same thing together, focus on the one who initiated the action. Unless they are brain-synchronized and fused hip to hip, there will be few times when there truly is no one leading off the action. Be creative!
I agree with Cog. I also want to emphasize that you don't have to keep referring to them as a group. If you just establish that they're all in the same room, or are all on the same journey, the reader will assume they're all there. Just have one character take the lead and the readers will assume the others are following. Just keep mentioning the others from time to time so the reader remembers they're there. If you concentrate on Harry too much, then fifty pages later Hermione says something, you don't want the reader saying "Hermione? Where did she come from?"
What cog said. Also, if you read through the first 5 books you should read the 7th as well Yoshiko. It is the best of the series and the only one worth the paper it is printed on.
You can always split action between them too. If something happens one of them may notice then draw the others' attention to it. For example rather than The trio turned at the quiet squeak. You could have (just made up names): Peter heard the faintest squeak and turned, the others hadn't heard it. Reaching out as silently as he could manage, his fingers brushed Steph's jumper in gentle alert, knowing she would turn to look at him he nodded in the direction of the sound etc etc etc So one or two characters can split up what happens in a story, this might help give you more opportunities to write where you can avoid having to use grouping.
Well-placed dialogue can play a part as well. Joe checked his watch. "Yikes! Guys, we gotta run. We're supposed to be at ... in ten minutes." Depending on prior context, you might be able to drop the last sentence. You don't need to follow the dialogue with them actually leaving; it's implied.
