Sayings From My Grandfather (That I Still Use Myself)

Anytime someone asked, "Where's so-and-so?" he would reply, "He went to shit and the hogs ate him."

When describing a used pickup truck, a piece of farm machinery or the occasional woman, it was always, "She ain't much for pretty, but she's hell for stout."

 

"Now, you're cookin' with gas!"

 

"Don't clean toilets with your mouth open."
"Don't open your mouth to politicians."

Spoiler: Nothing to see here. Move on. Disperse. Everything is fine.

Just to make a clear statement: I do not endorse the subtle and disrespectful remark regarding politicians. They are a necessity. This is my opinion. I'm not being coerced. I write this under free will. There are no guns in this room. I'm not sweating. I'm not currently scared to death. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my current situation. I am perfectly safe and protected. I haakenfdmv v.z.ew3

 

My granddad was awesome. He always used to write me meaningful birthday cards, and he was always teaching me stuff. As he was getting more demented, his birthday messages were getting more bizarre, but also more to the point. I remember one in particular, it said:

"Dear Maya,
People are evil and devious."

I don't remember the rest, because at this point I started to laugh so hard, I mean, it's not exactly what you expect to read from your dear old granddad in a birthday card! I still remember that, every time I find myself dealing with douchebags.

 

he was a wise old guy, regardless... and it's sure a good thing to keep in mind, when dealing with folks...

 

That's a cracker! I really like that line.

 

I would counter to say leaders are a necessity, politicians are a burden on society.

 

This one from a woman I worked with early in my career: "God don't like ugly and he ain't too crazy about pretty."