I found this while I was looking for a good site to spout off about how much I hate scripted customer service. I think it is raucous! “Here at the Phone Company we handle eighty-four billion calls a year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to scum of the earth. (snort) We realize that every so often you can’t get an operator, for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order [snatches plug out of switchboard], or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn’t make. We don’t care. Watch this [bangs on a switch panel like a cheap piano] just lost Peoria. (snort) You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space-age technology that is so sophisticated, even we can’t handle it. But that’s your problem, isn’t it ? Next time you complain about your phone service, why don’t you try using two Dixie cups with a string. We don’t care. We don’t have to. (snort) We’re the Phone Company!” – Lily Tomlin, as Ernestine BTW, I think Miss Tomlin deserves a national holiday. She is a National Treasure.