yeah thirded - also I had a look at your crit piece and its more of the same .... you are really suffering from describing every damn thing rather than picking the interesting scenes. Ryd wakes, she gets ready her sister wonders whats taking her so long, they go out, they get on the bus, the bus drivers comments on her being late.... blah blah blah zzz thunk.... the reader falls off his stool with boredom and puts the book back on the shelf Nothing of any note happens until the conversation with Aiden about Anti-matter (and that's assuming that that has some plot relevance) so my advice would be to open with that and cut everything prior.... if you start with a girl on a school bus the reader will assume that she woke, got ready, had breakfast etc you don't need to tell them.
Yes, this is what I meant when I mentioned getting into the character's head. Using filter words like "she heard" or "she saw" or "she felt" is unnecessary. Show us the character hearing or seeing or feeling. Then, not only do you pare down on constant She did this She did that structure, but you give the reader a glimpse into the character's mindset.
