1. TheDarkWriter

    TheDarkWriter Active Member

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    Should She Get Her Freedom?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by TheDarkWriter, May 31, 2017.

    So my MC'S love interest starts as a villain. She's very bad to the point that she's irredeemable then she sort of loses her memory and becomes remorseful and to get him to trust her she offers herself as a sort of concubine warrior slave this kind of proves herself because it's part of a mystical ritual that binds her to his will.

    This is supposed to be a real core part of their relationships development. Especially when he falls for this new version of her and starts care about her and even regret agreeing to it because it's the kind of thing he can't undo and among their world to give someone like her (the enslavement spell was a punishment by a sort sort of high magical court and the only reason she didnt get death was the memory loss and show of remorse on her part) it later comes out she was forcibly enslaved as a child and that was what messed her up the first time.

    My only problem is I don't know if I should give her back her freedom because even after she gets her memories back and her mean personality back she and she will not admit this but she'd rather be his slave then not be with him and for him it's a serious violation of his people's laws even though his people enslaved her's (there was a war her country lost and they sold a bunch of their own people as slaves as part of a treaty) so there's a lot of moral hypocrisy with all the many laws.

    Pretty much she starts out as a real psycho bandit and hes a Hercules type warrior hero and they don't really change their society but I still want them to sort be happy together but their society makes it very difficult since she's forbidden from being treated as an equal in fact he could get in trouble just for having his feelings outed.

    Also she's really bad in the beginning so I feel the whole situation is something that needs to sort of be her penance. For their world it's a sort of lenient life sentence.
     
  2. Arktaurous34

    Arktaurous34 Active Member

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    Hi @TheDarkWriter. This sounds like a great idea for a story. I wonder how much it will change the course of your story to grant her freedom? If you do a really good job making the reader feel pity for her being forcible enslaved as a child then I think they will really want her to be free. I think it could be a cool story either way. Best wishes :)
     
  3. QueenOfPlants

    QueenOfPlants Definitely a hominid

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    I think we would like the two to get the best thing that is possible within their social bounds. A secretly egalitarian relationship behind the mask of enslavery might be the best option if they are happy together. Maybe with the hint of becoming politically active to change society for the future.
     
  4. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    I find this all to be a bit confusing. She gets amnesia for a spell,
    and gets turned into a slave after admitting to crimes committed
    before the amnesia occurred? Then because the protag has a
    heart of gold, wants to unbind her from him, even though the
    magical bondage is unbreakable. And they are somehow in
    love/infatuated with each other, and that is actually illegal.

    I smell a few plot demands here to solve some of this, and that
    is not a good sign. If something is unbreakable, then you had
    better not use that if you expect anyone to believe it can be
    broken. That would be a big continuity problem for me. Secondly,
    do they fall for each other while he has her under this unbreakable
    spell of forced servitude? It is plausible, but under what pretense?
    It does not add up when she is going to get her memories back,
    and what changes her just enough to not be as horrible as she
    used to be? Perhaps she is playing him, under the guise of being
    romantically attached to him to earn her freedom. Then she can
    go back to doing what she was all along, to what degree I am not
    sure.

    Sorry to wander off on a bit of a tangent, but some of this seems
    a bit imposed on your antagonist just to make her fall for the
    hero. Like she has little to no choice in any of it. Perhaps she is
    attracted to him, and vice versa, but for much more complicated
    reasons. Stockholm syndrome is a tad too easy, and makes it feel
    too contrived in my opinion.

    Anywho, Good luck with this. :supersmile:
     
  5. TheDarkWriter

    TheDarkWriter Active Member

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    Well it's not that she is enslaved after her amnesia she's given the sentence before and the Protagonist doesn't like it when he's thrutsed with the responsibility(yeah he she literally is just dropped on his door by a cop and is told he's her master and he gets no say in it) of having to take control of her in fact it's believed he's the only one equipped to deal with her. He tries to get out of it in fact while on his way to the city (with her) in order to file a sort of appeal so he can get rid of her she attacks him and durring the fight she hits her head and wakes up with the amnesia and on the journey to the city he slowly starts to fall for her.

    Then she slowly gets her memories back and at first keeps it a secret fearing he won't love her anymore but he slowly figures it out and keeps it a secret for fear he'll scare her off. It takes a while for them to truly trust each other. However ultimately she grows to prefer having him in her life as a master as opposed to not having him in her life at all. However I can't help but wonder if I need show her humanity in some ways when she's a antagonist as oposed to after her memory loss.
     
  6. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    @TheDarkWriter Okie dokie then, that makes much more sense.
    Your OP was a bit confusing on a few facts.

    Also, you might want to use commas, as your reply is in need of a few. :p
     

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