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  1. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    "Shouting under your breath"

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by mashers, Aug 17, 2017.

    “Dog, where are you?” Alexa shouted under her breath.

    What manner of speaking does this suggest? I'm struggling to describe it and want to check if I'm evoking the right description.
     
  2. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    I would take it to mean that she's frustrated, and loud whispering?
    It really is distracting though, because the description doesn't really make sense. 'under her breath' makes me think 'mumble, grumble, whisper, growl' etc. Shouting is... well... shouting.
     
  3. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I don't think this is possible.

    I think maybe what you're after is a hiss?

    “Dog, where are you?” Alexa hissed. < That suggests to me a forceful whisper.
     
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  4. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Thanks @Trish and @Tenderiser

    She's not frustrated - she's just run into a dark, abandoned building after a dog that has run inside. She doesn't know who or what is inside, so is trying to call out to the dog without being heard by people who might be in there.

    Actually "hissed" is what I'm trying to convey, but I've already used that word in the previous paragraph and don't want to repeat it. Synonyms of "hiss" didn't really do it for me, so I tried to use some other descriptors.
     
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  5. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Quietly called, whispered loudly?
     
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  6. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I did think about "whispered loudly", but was trying to avoid the adverb. Do you think it's forgivable in this context? ;)
     
  7. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    She called in a loud whisper?
     
  8. izzybot

    izzybot Transhuman Autophage Contributor

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    You might have more luck replacing the other instance of hissed?
     
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  9. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Why didn't I think of that? :supergrin:

    Thanks!
     
  10. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Actually, yes I think I will. I'll change that one to calling in a loud whisper, and this one to hissed.
     
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