So, a problem I have noticed myself having more than once now. Having to show a character correctly in a passionate way when there emotions and character traits are passive. I think I am getting better at it. But general tips is never something I am against. So I have this character. She not the POV character. So she is only scene occasionally. I am hearing from a beta that she is too flat. To lacking emotion. Almost robotic. When I think about her. She is a very passionate character in many respects. She would die for the sake of others, she would kill for the sake of others(she has). She is also very sad and angry. Sad because she considers herself broken, or not worry of life. Angry at the types of people she sees breaking others. Yet, the point of her character is that she doesn't show these traits. She smiles, nodds is respectful and other wise keeps to herself. And the situation is especially daunting considering that the POV is someone she cares about deeply. So even more so she doesn't want to show this person her anger or sorrow. But how to show someone like that, who is taking great pains to hide there emotions, in a emotional light? Tagging people to whom I think are awesome! This is not meaning I am only looking for there opinion. Rather just a chance for me to say how aweome they are! @Lea`Brooks @Mckk @jannert @ChickenFreak @Jack Asher
You could try a small physical cue that can relate to the corresponding emotional denial. Can be a simple gaze aversion, to a less subtle completely turning away from them to hide their emotion. Biting of the lip or cheek to dull, and distract from what they feel deep down. Heck, even the old : smilling clown, crying clown, angle could be done. Just some thoughts, none of them necessarily good, just some thoughts.
Just so you're aware - I'm never going to respond to one of these posts since I'm not one of the awesome people. Which may not be a loss to you, but I thought I'd mention it. I think I've read someone else responding in a similar way in the past, so I don't think I'm alone with this reaction.
Ah sad. I mean I thought it was what tagging was for. I mean, I figured they might not notice the thread. So a tag is a nice way to not bug, but alert. I am posting it publically instead of asking a person directly in a PM because I am curious a wider opinion.
The answer probably depends, in large part, on what the reader will know. What are you committed to leaving implicit, told, and shown, if anything? I like the question, by the way; hopefully the answer will help me with similar things.
I agree; it pangs of "these are the people whose opinion I'm actually interested in hearing, but I'll permit the rest of you to participate anyway."
I get it. I am a failure as a person. I am sorry! I put up a status to that effect already. I will try to avoid doing this from now on. I am sorry!
Opps didn't notice this post until now. I am not sure I fully understand you. Would it be okay to ask you to rephrase or elaborate? Please.
Yeah, it feels that way to everyone, sometimes. But, whatever. It's just one more thing we're wrong about.
Well, how much does the narrator know about her? Does her intuition inform about this character? I know a lot of people like this in real life, defeated but nonetheless loyal and sentimental. Usually, something will seem out of character if they are simultaneously provoked and are self-consciously stolid. Something has to slip, otherwise it's a paradox. Maybe the POV has to comment on her voice breaking, even though the words spoken by the other character do not seem to be passionate or emotional, for example. This is a good start for determining 'tells' in others. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microexpression
Everyone feels bad about themselves sometimes. But that doesn't mean we're bad, it just means we're having an inaccurate feeling.
The narrorator doesn't know much. They just met actually. I guess I didn't elaborate on that. Kind of confusing out of context though. This thread seems like it features me failing in more ways than one. If you want to dive into it more I could probably PM you more context. If you like. Thanks.
Where other people's help comes in is the execution of communicating this enigma about her -- I, myself, am not an experienced fiction writer. The question is very good, anyways; how do we portray conflicting emotions? It's okay if you overlooked the conditions in the OP -- maybe they're the source of the problem, so why wouldn't you post it? I think we should go on here, but if not, you're welcome to PM.
