1. MarcT

    MarcT Active Member

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    Some f**king writing tips from Matt Haig

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MarcT, Feb 15, 2017.

    12. Don’t kill off the fucking dog.
    13. Oh, yeah, and lastly: write whatever you fucking want.

    The rest of his f**king writing tips can be found here:
    http://www.matthaig.com/some-fucking-writing-tips/

    Number thirteen resonates, as well as not trying to be someone else.
     
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  2. Albeit

    Albeit Active Member

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    Thank you @MarcT for the link. It speaks volumes.

    After thought -

    Oh me, oh my, there is no fucking with what is coming down the wire.

    Many voices, many songs will sound.

    And they will be heard by more people than ever before.

    It will certainly be quite the choir of drunken song.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2017
  3. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I killed a dog.
     
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  4. jannert

    jannert Who? Whooo? Staff Supporter Contributor

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    So did I.
     
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  5. EdFromNY

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    Yes, but was it a fu...oh, never mind.
     
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  6. Dnaiel

    Dnaiel Senior Member

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    That guy needs a fucking patch.
     
  7. Alex R. Encomienda

    Alex R. Encomienda Contributor Contributor

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    Those are some good fucking writing tips alright... With a glass of orange juice and a slice of muenster cheese they're even better.
     
  8. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Both of yo asses are fuckin' mine, you hear me?! :supermad:
     
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  9. Formalized

    Formalized Member

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    I killed several dogs while pretending to be Stephen King.
     
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  10. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    My ass is spoken for, but we can Netflix and chill?
     
  11. Dreamsage

    Dreamsage Member

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    F*ing good tips!

    Hemingway was wrong, why drink on the top of writing? Isn't writing enough of a drug?

    7. Ignore the fucking snobs. Write that space zombie sex opera. Just give it some fucking soul.
    I'm in love with this one!

    10. Stories are fucking easy. PLOT OF EVERY BOOK EVER: Someone is looking for something. COMMERCIAL VERSION: They find it. LITERARY VERSION: They don’t find it. (That’s fucking it.)
    With this one too.

    12. Don’t kill off the fucking dog.
    I... uh... I didn't kill the fucking dog, but I killed the protag's girl. Is that better or worse?
     
  12. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Contributor Contributor

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    13. Oh, yeah, and lastly: write whatever you fucking want.
     
  13. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I think the importance of this last tip plugs into a number of slots and as the end resolution to a number of different trains of thought, like:

    Stop asking for permission; you're not going to get it in any way that doesn't feel dismissive or like a platitude, ultimately unsatisfactory, leading to a cycle of petition for permission that never ends.

    Stop getting butthurt when everyone doesn't want to read it. You can pick the most renowned, lauded, award-winning piece of writing and still fill a stadium with people who wouldn't wipe their asses with it. Them's the brakes.
     
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  14. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Matt Haig in orbit like a comet round the web. He needs shooting down or confinement aside motivational posters.
     
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  15. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Benevolent Ochlocrat Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I don't know if I'm going to kill a dog (or a cat), but I think I'm going to put a dead one on page three.

    I don't want to, but this seems like advice best aggressively ignored.
     
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  16. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    Me too. I'd read it....:D
     
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  17. TheRealStegblob

    TheRealStegblob Kill All Mages Contributor

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    I hope no one will take this out of context, now.
     
  18. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    These two pieces of advice would seem to be in conflict :superthink:
     
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  19. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Taken together - in combination - I think they answer to what I mentioned above: Stop asking for permission, and also not getting butthurt when everyone doesn't want to read it.

    shingeki_no_kyojin_-_14-stare-down.jpg
     
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  20. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I'm including a dog death scene. IDGAF if people don't like it. It's important to the plot, so I'm gonna do it.
     
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  21. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Yup. I've had people say, "I won't read a book where a dog dies." First, you won't know a dog dies until you reach Chapter 25 so whatever, and second, your loss.
     
  22. sediation

    sediation Member

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    #1 tip of writing - understand pain is universal.
     
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  23. Ohmo

    Ohmo Banned

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    Matt Hague seems fairly articulate, but appears to use the same boring adjective - or is it a verb? - much too often. To the point: I cannot figure out why anyone, even a writer, would kill a dog that is f'ing. Seriously. I was raised on a farm and all sorts of animals spent plenty of time f'ing, and we never killed one in the middle of the act or even immediately after. Oh, we watched 'em f', but kill them in the act? No way, Jose. We did however, often kill the resultant offspring as much as two years after birth - then served it up for Sunday dinner. And who cares if snobs are f'ing? You wouldn't kill them for it, would you? I will probably never watch porn again because the mental image of Stormy Daniels f'ing a big orange will never leave me.

    Back to Matt Hague. Are his novels any good?
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2018
  24. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Well that was truly encouraging, I believe 7, 9 and 13 resonate the most with me. F*** the snobs, be yourself and write whatever the hell you please! That's a motto for life and writing.

    As for the dog, I have several dogs in my stories and none of them die, in fact, one of them save one of my MCs from killing himself during a panic attack.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2018
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  25. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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