1. Sarah's scribbles

    Sarah's scribbles Member

    Jul 12, 2015
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    america. sigh

    Some little thought babies.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Sarah's scribbles, Aug 19, 2015.

    Okay, so I was thinking on a new story that popped into my head and I came up with a bit of a multiverse.

    The story revolves around the same world, with three different outcomes. this is mainly just back story, but so there was this guy and he grew up around this girl girl turns out to be a demon. he grows into a strong man and a knight and a hero. The two of them are eventually pitted against each other to decide the fate or the world.
    Now, here's where my story starts.
    this instance creates three worlds.

    World 1: He loses. Upon losing to her, and quite easily mind you, he slowly fades away, telling her he could never hurt her and that he's always thought of her as his closest friend. He asks her will she destroy the world now, and she tells him she has decided not to. She ends up carrying his body out as she brings forward a hord of demons and takes over the world. Under her new rain, she enbows his pregnant daughter and all of those who share his blood to bare the "Mark of Cain." (Cain being the guy's name.) So that from now on none may harm those with the mark of Cain.

    World 2: She loses. Unable to harm her childhood friend she loses the fight and dies. No demon army brought forward, he's saved the world. He returns home and the world continues on its "correct" path, to about what we have today.

    World 3: Neither lose. Neither of them are able to fight one another. they go through the motions but neither truly has the intent to end the other. Eventually they reach a point where they could both kill one another in a double finale moment and they both stop. She decides that she cannot harm someone she loves and he decides he cannot harm his friend even if she did turn out to be a demon. Since neither won, neither side gets the winning conditions, (IE: if he won then the demons would never be able to be free and if she won then the demons would be free) This causes the both of them to run off together. they work together some and eventually he reaches the ends of his human life and is about to die. She doesn't want to see her friend go, but knows it is his time. She ends up going to the before mentioned daughter and offers herself to her family. She is a full grown woman by now and her son is in his teens. She says that she will serve their family in honor of her friend and will be with them forever. This creates a kind of standing in the family to train the men with the help of her, to kill off other demons.

    What I'm thinking is some dimensional play with distant descendants of the man all these years later, with the one world where she is the queen and his descendants have the mark of Cain, the world where his descendant is normal and she is dead, and the descendant that the other her now serves.

    Any opinions or thoughts? I'm not sure it's just an inkling of an idea.
  2. Lyrical

    Lyrical Frumious Bandersnatch

    Jul 13, 2015
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    It sounds a bit complex to me, like it would be easy for the reader to get lost - especially in the third scenario. I don't understand, world-wise, how it is different from the second? Does civilization still advance as it would have, since the demons are not free?

    Still, if you did it right, it could be quite interesting.
  3. rainy_summerday

    rainy_summerday Active Member

    Aug 13, 2015
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    I agree with Lyrical. The first thing I thought was 'Oh, complicated.' And the second thought that sprang to my mind was: "Sounds good, though."

    I've read some very good and some very bad dimension play / alternate universe stories.

    What I did not quite understand from your first post:
    1. Do you intend to have these dimensions closed to each other or are there characters/objects that are able to travel between them?

    2. Are the characters and the setting all the same or do you intend for your characters to have slightly other traits, e.g. one MC is more of a coward, the other quite bold, etc.?

    3. If you intend for the characters to travel, does the "alternate character" take the place of the new dimension's character? Or are they able to communicate?

    I am not sure yet what to think of it, because I feel like I would be judging your idea without knowing all the details.
  4. Jaro

    Jaro Active Member

    Aug 17, 2014
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    Tulsa, OK
    I like the idea. It's very 'Legend of Zelda'esque as far as the alternate timelines. It does sound incredibly complicated, but I am interested to see where you can take it.
  5. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

    Mar 3, 2013
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    Ralph's side of the island.
    I like the idea. Complicated to pull off though, because you have the problem of three very similar stories with three different endings. Writing one beginning with three endings is a different task from writing three separate stories. That's the part you have to figure out.

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