I'm in a sort of Catch 22. On the one hand, I want to have as much emotion as possible. On the other, I want to keep a distance so that I am not so bothered by the prospect of writing about one of my favorite characters' head being blown off that I decide against writing it in. Tips? Further, I don't want to have a sort of closure scene where a character explains their actions or says "You did good". Death is sudden and ugly. Not some cliche-ridden event that takes a long ass time.