Everyone has their struggles in life. Some people grow up with everything they could ever ask for, with parents who love them and care for them and clothes on their backs and food to take to school. Some people grow up with no parents, or abusive ones. In s*** situations where they really can't get any worse. Some people are born with defects, or get cancer, or a close friend gets cancer. If one person has a "good" life (like my first statement) and falls into complete depression and cutting and all of that horrible stuff, and the other one has a situation more like the second one but instead of falling into depression they rise up and make something of their life, and make themselves happy, does that make the second person stronger than the first? Emotionally? Does this show when you're creating a characters personality?
Everyone has highs and lows, no matter how good or terrible their initial situations are. Well, anyone not born in constant "kill me" agony... That's another sort of terror. Obviously, a person who suffers but comes out of it is considered "stronger" because of their ordeal. However, people can be strong by default just due to their mindsets, educations, or strong beliefs. ie: some people are terrible in stressful situations and make bad decisions or break down, while others (who may never have been in such a situation) are capable of quick, cool thinking. it really depends on the individual rather than their past experiences.
Would you consider someone who comes down with cancer to be less 'strong' than someone who does not? Depression and cutting are not things one chooses; they have nothing whatsoever to do with strength.
I don't think you can determine that. Everyone's story is different and people show strength in different ways. I find it hard to not feel angry and bitter when I see someone who seems to have it all, health first and foremost, start acting like life is a huge drag. But if it truly is depression instead of, say, a tantrum thrown by someone pampered well into adulthood, then life really is hell to them, even if they weren't in horrible physical pain 24/7.
There was an article in the Guardian recently about how wallowing can be good for you. It wasn't a terribly good article, in my opinion, but does touch on the idea of strength. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is actually impossible after all. Who's to say that feeling sad when you have right to isn't a kind of strength? But agree that this is different from clinical depression; that's a whole different ball game.
Look I hate superheroes, but here's a good, well known quote. "with great power comes great responsibility," Let's forget clinical depression and assume all people pertinent to this discussion are fairly healthy individuals, no chemical imbalances or anything like that. You have two people . Person A has decent parents, nice birthdays, a clean, good childhood. Person B grows up in the ghetto with an alcoholic mother and physically abusive father. Person A should be held to higher standards than person B. Person A doesnt have he baggage or the disadvantages of B. He/she is expected to overcome any personal angst or dissatisfaction with society and become a healthy contributor. If person B managed to do these things, I would praise that person, because I don't think it should be expected. Likewise, I would expect someone with wealthy, supportive parents to go on to be a doctor or something else equally esteemed and to be a decent citizen and charitable neighbor. If someone from worse circumstances achieved this, I would praise that person, because I don't think that's expected either.
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I remember a conversation with the son of the chairman of the company where I was working. He envied my son's childhood, having a father who wasn't at work 24/7, hadn't been sent to boarding school away from his family.
Envy I think is part of human nature. That doesn't mean that some circumstances aren't objectively better.
Strength is born from adversity. It is like a muscle you have to exercise. No matter what type of life you have I guarantee you will run into problems. Some more than others, for sure, but that gives them more of a chance to build strength. I think that is why I consider myself fortunate to have been poor and brought up in struggling times. It gave me plenty of chances to stop running an to start fighting. Anyone who decided to not run from their problems has built their own unique strength. Strength is hard to define and can manifest in too many ways to describe. But I guess the best way to explain it would be a 'will to power'
You said cutting isn't something one chooses. It's a reaction to stress. Everything we do is a reaction. I assumed when you said depression you didn't mean clinical depression. No one chooses that, OK, fine. Does anyone choose rage? The big question to me is when're we hold slmeone accountable and when don't we?
I was referring to clinical depression since the OP coupled depression with cutting. We hold people accountable for those things they choose to do, versus those things they have little or no control over. People do choose rage - it's a reaction which can be controlled. People don't choose self-harm - it's a manifestation of their illness.
