When I made a post in the unhappiness thread venting my stress at being in a relationship with a girl that has borderline personality disorder and the associated issues, it sparked a debate about mental illness, loved one's, and such. The thread, however, was no place for such a discussion. In reply to some of the comments made, her drug abuse is not really a voluntary action. The use of drugs is a very common symptom of BPD for a number of reasons. I won't go into the details, but she uses drugs heavily at times because of her mental illness, the same way someone would use and get addicted to painkillers after a horrific accident. 90% of people with BP take illicit drugs to cope with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, worthlessness and detachment. She wants to quit drugs. She's tried to quit drugs. She was sober for 2 years and she is again wanting to stop. She's desperate to stop. But when she does she gets overwhelmed again by the illness and can't cope. One of the things I have found interesting about my own situation is that most couples where a partner is BP, there are violent outbursts and lots of unprovoked (but triggered) rage. That hasn't been the case with us. While we have had friction, and she has often said we shouldn't be together etc, I'm the only one she never has such volatile reactions with. This is rare and, as her mother says, an excellent sign (I hope). Education is key. As I learn more about what is really going on not only does a lot of her behaviour make sense, I feel much calmer and less emotional. I don't take things personally and that is the golden rule with loving a person with PBD. Understanding her thought process and the involuntary nature of the illness is invaluable. As I learn more it is evident BPD is a very complicated illness and difficult to beat, but successful relationships can be had; as long as one partner is clear, rational, and not overly reactive.