Tavern's General Life Issues Corner.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Raven, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. starrynight89

    starrynight89 New Member

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    :)

    Banzai--Thank you for those kind words and Good luck to you too! :)
     
  2. BrinkofDawn

    BrinkofDawn New Member

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    I have a question about applying to jobs and stuff and I need some advice.

    First though, I have to say I've never had a real job other than working with my friend's dad in landscaping for 3 years.

    Since I have no official job experience in any field really (summer school ROP doesn't count unfortunately) I don't think I have a very good chance at landing the jobs I've applied for.

    I know I can put down references and stuff for the companies to call and stuff but would an under the table job really count? I guess what I'm trying to ask is how do I tell them I can do my job right even though I've never had an official job before?
     
  3. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Ok, I didn't want to start a discussion about this in the lounge, but just wanted to know peoples opinions of anti-depressants...
     
  4. Bick

    Bick New Member

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    I think, they make my dad partially human and without them, he's a beast in the worse of fashions. I myself take them once in a while, and they really do calm me down when I'm stressed to the max. ./shrug

    I think they're useful.
     
  5. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    thanks Bick.
     
  6. Gloom Kitty

    Gloom Kitty Banned

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    Well from what I understand of it antidepressants themselves are helpful. Different groups do have different side effects though. Zoloft for example can cause tinnitus which for some people can be rather frustrating. Some of the other groups have an addictive side effect.

    A lot of people suffer from depression these days so it’s not uncommon for people to be prescribed with medication to counteract it. It’s better then the placebo If I pretend nothing is wrong with me it will go away. From what I understand through my studies even one event can be powerful enough to set depression into motion. I think it takes a braver person to admit they have an issue then one who tries to “suck it up” so to speak and live with it.
     
  7. Shadow Dragon

    Shadow Dragon Contributor Contributor

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    I think you should atleast try them and see how affective they are, since they react to every person a little differently. I'm currently on Paxil, and I think it is helping a little. Good luck Torano. :)
     
  8. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks for that Gloom. It's appreciated. (I'm not going to be using...)
    Thanks Shadow Dragon
     
  9. Gloom Kitty

    Gloom Kitty Banned

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    Huh I think you misunderstood me, certain prescribed medications can be addictive
     
  10. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    no, no, no! I didn't misunderstand you at all. I knew what you were saying. I am just not going to be using this kind of medication is all. I just required some outside input on this... for reasons I am unable to say.
     
  11. Gloom Kitty

    Gloom Kitty Banned

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    Fair enough, best of luck with whatever you needed the infomation for then
     
  12. Speedy

    Speedy Contributor Contributor

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    I think anti-deprssants are fine if you use them correctly (take them when you should be taking them) but i think people who take them should be doing more to help themselves then just pop the pills and hope everything will be right (such as be active, positive, dont stay inside all the time, change some bad habits etc).

    My brother-in-law takes AD's and well, has a very very unhealthy lifestyle, so from what i see his no different (depressed and sucking other people into it with him).

    Im not against them, as my mum was on them and it helped her greatly, I just hate to see people think that AD's are the only answer (maybe they are to those who are extremly down the rabbit hole and cant get the black dog off them no matter what).

    My two cents
     
  13. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    I agree with what you are saying here... I had PND after my children were born and while things got hard, and I did shut the world out for a while (even my children), after the death of my brother and grandmother, I managed to pull through without AD's.

    I don't like to take things of this kind, because I don't like the thoughts of something altering my state of mind. While it is a hard thing to beat at the best of times, with drugs, I know it isn't impossible to get through without them. The main reason I want others opinions on this is to help with something that doesn't have anything to do with me though, not really... so I am really greatful to you all for giving me your thoughts. Thank you! :)
     
  14. Carmina

    Carmina Contributor Contributor

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    I think I came in on the end of this discussion, but this is a topic about which I have a lot of experience. I have seen both the best and worst (well nearly worst) outcomes from taking anti-depressants. I know someone who was given the wrong antidepressants and became suicidal and spent 3 weeks in the hospital 51/50. I have also seen someone who was too agoraphobic and depressed to leave his house in 10 years finally able to go for a walk or to the store. For myself...I was on Prozac for a few years. I lost insurance and went off for a few years. I had issues and anxiety attacks, but I pushed through. I got back on insurance and thought I had done this well for so long I don't need it anymore. Some heavy duty life stuff happened, and I ended up having a nervous breakdown. I tried to suck it up and push through, but in the end I was in the ER and they gave some hardcore stuff. I have it down to a reasonable dosage and have done my share of therapy and behavior mod. I still take some meds though. I don't have insurance but pay $1534 every 3 months to stay on my meds because I know that I need them. It is worth it for me. I hit bottom with it. I don't want to get back to that point. That is just my experience.
     
  15. Ennui

    Ennui New Member

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    I have a superfluous amount of unfathomable stress.Its all about education,envy,grief which affected me.
     
  16. Scarlett_156

    Scarlett_156 Active Member

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    If you really want help, you have two options here:

    A) Go into more detail, especially about the specific problem and how it started, so people can give you feedback, or--
    B) Don't expect for the internet to be of much help, and see a real-life professional who can really listen to you and help you out.

    I am not a fan of doctors and pills. I have not seen a regular medical doctor in a very long time, perhaps longer than you have been alive. However, if I was really sick to the point of nonfunctionality in my day-to-day life--be it from stress, grief, pain, malaise, or what-have-you--I would definitely see a doctor. I don't currently have health insurance; if I was in need of medical care I would simply present to my local hospital emergency room and take things from there.

    If you live in the United States or Canada, you can go to a hospital emergency room and get treated, if you don't have a regular medical doctor and/or insurance. This is also the case in most of Europe and the UK. If you DO have a regular doctor, then there's no reason to suffer with some physical or mental condition. Go see your doctor.

    This advice is coming from a person who would only see a doctor in the case of severe pain or debilitating illness. If I was extremely upset about a loss, or if I could not otherwise function in my everyday life, I would make sure there was gas in my car or motorcycle, make sure my home was secure, get my keys and my wallet, and drive to the nearest hospital. If I was in so much pain, or so disoriented, that I could not drive myself, I would call 911.

    If you are a student then there is free counseling available to you. Why suffer? Get help from someone who can really help you. Good luck! yours in Chaos, Scarlett
     
  17. tarnished

    tarnished Contributor Contributor

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    Gah.

    I have a friend, lets say Nathan. Nathan is my best friends friend, and in turn I have come to be "friends" with him through my best friend, nick. Nick is awesome, and I absoleutly cant imagine life without him. But I have issues with Nathan. Nathan is very codescending, and looks down at me because I don't have as much money as him. I invited him over once, and all he had to say when he walked in was " I don't like your house...its so small." I couldn't *&*^%%&& believe it. I hate him with a passion, and for other reasons. Nick has started to waiver on liking Nathan, but I don't want to pressure him. What to do?
     
  18. Carmina

    Carmina Contributor Contributor

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    If Nathan is a toxic person, you shouldn't have to hang with him. He is still Nick's friend however, so don't talk smack about him to Nick. If Nick decides that Nathan is cool he may resent the things you said about him. It is fine to tell Nick that you would rather not hang out with Nathan, but don't try to pressure him into making hte same decision. He needs to decide for himself if Nathan is a jerk. If you badmouth him, Nick might decide that YOU are the jerk. His waivering can go either way. Play it safe. Don't burn any bridges. That is my two cents.
     
  19. tarnished

    tarnished Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks, very good advice.
     
  20. Scarlett_156

    Scarlett_156 Active Member

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    Leave them both alone, and don't put pressure on the one you want to stay your friend. If he's really your friend he'll come back; in the meantime, don't be a pushover. If your best friend tries to bring someone over you don't like, be definite about not wanting that person in your house. It may not take as long as you think it will for your best friend to realize this other person is a loser. (And anyone that would rank on your house like that is a loser, ok?)

    By the way--and I've wanted to say this for awhile, don't take it personally--it's "the names it has BLOWN in the past", not "it has BLOW in the past".

    I hope this is of some help to you. Good luck! yours in Chaos, Scarlett
     
  21. ryansnake

    ryansnake New Member

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    Usually I wouldn't do this...

    As stated in the topic... I usually wouldn't bring personal problems or issues to a web forum full of people I don't know; people that can say whatever they feel about me, but this "split" in my mind is driving me to the point where it's actually completely stopped me from writing. A decision. One that must be made before tomorrow.

    You may think that I should figure it out on my own, you know, since people should be able to make their own decisions, but I've been struggling with this for a week and I need opinions from people who don't know me as a person, to help me out. It's your choice, you don't have to help me, you can ignore this post. Here's the deal:

    There's this chick, (don't all problems begin with a woman? :p) I like her, I care about her and tomorrow I'm supposed to go visit her for two days to celebrate her birthday and to take her to a movie. Here's my problem. I don't know what she wants from me. I've tried figuring it out by talking to her or just by thinking to myself about it, but I've been basicaly inconclusive.

    I've been talking with her for months. She says she wants me to be her friend. She says that she likes me. She says that she's not quite ready for a relationship with me, yet. She shows obvious interest in other guys, yet for the past week she has been talking to me as if she's very interested in me, all of a sudden. Saying things like "I'm glad we're talking more and more." or sending me messages that say "Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you..."

    My problem is that I do believe that at this very moment she's interested in me, but she has let me down before with unforseen things. If I should happen to go there and find that all of my assumptions were untrue and that she's currently interested in some other guy, I'll turn around and get out of there. Why? Because I don't like being confused. I don't like games and I sort of feel like that's what's going on here.

    It's like that Clash song. "Should I stay or should I go? If I stay, there will be trouble. If I go, there will be trouble." If I don't go, blow her off, assuming the worst,(that she was in fact just messing with my brains and isn't really interested in me as she makes it seem) I will have single-handedly ruined what she probably sees as a good end to her birthday and Halloween, along with a good friendship and any possible feelings that could've led things further.

    If I do go, there's a slight possibility that all of these things I'm feeling at the moment have absolutely no basis and I could end up, once again, being that guy that gets pushed aside for someone who's apparently better than me. Or, things could go great and we could finally put an end to my mental anguish, a problem I've had not only here, but my entire life.

    And another thing, does this make me, at all, mentally unstable? I'll sum this all up. Either I go and possibly end up with a shattered heart or I don't go and destroy all chances of anything AND ruin what could've maybe been a great weekend.

    I'm 23 years old, life, for me, has been a confusing rollercoaster of insanity. This is one of the REASONS I'm writing a book and now the craziness is actually stopping me from doing so. I need to make this decision, I can't take it anymore.

    Thanks and I know I've hardly posted here, mostly because I've been rumbling THIS around my mind for the past week or so.

    /VENT MODE OFF

    Would anyone like a cup of tea?

    (btw, I'll try to respond to anyone who replies, if need be, within the next 30 minutes, but after that I'm going to sleep. Nightshift. Yea.)
     
  22. de la vega

    de la vega New Member

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    Ryansnake: I know this post was a couple of weeks ago. I just joined tonight. If I had been here, I would have told you that you're too old to have to be worrying about these kind of games. I would suggest sitting her down and asking her straight, "What are your intentions?" If she's wishy-washy, you should probably move on and save yourself from more torment.

    Anyway, don't know where you are with the problem at this point - 2 weeks after your post. But those are my 2 cents.
     
  23. SonnehLee

    SonnehLee Contributor Contributor

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    Okay, so not entirely sure if this really counts as a real "issue" but I need suggestions. Going to North Carolina to visit Gram and Pop, and this entails a six hour car ride with my family, namely, my sister. Now, my sister and I don't get along. And by "don't get along" I mean, we're violent and really can't stand each other, for the most part.

    Also, she can beat me up. So. I need tips on how to survive this. Two nights in NC.
     
  24. Carmina

    Carmina Contributor Contributor

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    Emily. You guys aren't 6 anymore. Decalre a truce. Don't instigate and don't let her get your goat. Ignore her as much as you can. Don't fight back if she starts something. Be the mature one. The trip is about visiting Gram and Pop. Don't let her ruin that. I don't understand physical fighting with siblings after the age of like 10. There are other ways to resolve things.
     
  25. SonnehLee

    SonnehLee Contributor Contributor

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    We tried a truce on the way to New York last summer (maybe..) and I became a servant. What you have to understand is that my sister believes she runs the world. and so the reason we fight is because I don't want to become a slave. Which is exactly what happened today.
     

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