I agree with what's been said prior to this. My input(though not much): 1) How can a person learn to stop hating and start liking someone else. Lynette understands she needs to change her feelings toward Roxanne, but doesn't know how to start. Maybe Lynette can think of Roxanne as the woman not meant for you, hence the break up. I mean you're hers, and not Roxanne's right(okay, sorry for making you sound like a commodity). I agree with Mercurial about feelings being biased on both sides. Maybe somewhere deep down Roxanne does not like Lynette because of the "Ex-factor"? Sure, she and you did not get serious, but why should you for anyone else? Basically, It's going to be the hardest on your Mom to have two daughter-in-laws who despise each other. I think maybe you can try making then understand this before anything else? And before ALL of this. You need to call your brother up and clear the air. He's your TWIN. Family! 2) Is it disrespectful to ask (not demand) to see if we can find a way to both have a wedding in March? Assuming funding issues are not a problem (although they probably will be) No, of course it won't be disrespectful. How can they blame you for setting a date when you have not been informed about it? Basically, if you weren't told by anyone, technically you wouldn't even KNOW about it right? And if you do manage to clear the air, what's better than a double wedding?(Getting ahead of myself). Anyways, all the best for the situation and keep us posted. Oh, and congrats on the engagement
A question which may not deserve its own thread: Have you ever met someone and within minutes decided that, no, this person would not be a member of your life experience and just got up and walked away?
Usually I experience just the opposite. Within a few minutes of meeting someone, I sometimes get a very strong feeling about that person indicating that (s)he will be an extremely important part of my life and that I need to hold onto that person. That feeling is right about 90% of the time. Sometimes I have encounters that leave me feeling repulsed by the person I was interacting with, but they are fewer, and I would never get up and leave in the middle of a conversation just because I didnt think they would mean anything to me later on in life. Firstly, you could be wrong, and secondly, it's kind of rude.
Nope and I've been robbed twice, beat up once, and there's another 10,000 counts of me being taken advantage of because I was kind to the type of people I have an instinct about. Of course, you never know. I'd say the good outweighs the bad but this is one situation where I can't think of any examples, I just know it. Oh, you have a bridge you can sell me? Well jeeze I've always wanted one.
@Wrey, at least a dozen times. See there's this thing about Indian guys. Either you stay and become very good friends with them, or you walk away. And then of course there are some b*****es too. (I might have on some ocassions been one. People either love me like there's no limit to it, or hate me like I'm a murderer).
I've wanted to do that several times. Like Mercurial and Nobeler Than Lettuce I get feelings about people. I can generally tell pretty quickly if they are someone I will be friends with or someone I will hate. Or beyond that if they are a good person or someone I really ought to avoid. Sometimes I don't listen to my instincts. Every time I haven't listened I got burned. So I learned from my mistakes. When I met Zack I knew he was special. I knew in my heart that he would become very important to me. On the other hand I've met a few creeps that everyone else thought were okay people. Yet I always felt something was off about them. In the end it turned out they were into some pretty awful things and just generally people you didn't want to associate with because they were dangerous. So yes. I have felt that way. Never acted on it though aside from not talking to them again. Or if the situation felt dangerous then hell yeah I'd leave.
I wouldn't say I've just gotten up and left, but yes, I've definitely met people and thought "yeah. Never gonna happen." Usually in such an instance, I just don't talk. It's a lot easier to get away with when you're in a large group, though...when there are only two or three of you, it makes for some awkward silence.
I like to give everyone a shot but generally speaking my personality is like teflon for 90% of the population.
One of my best friends is moving to another town in two months, and I don't know what to say to her or how to deal with it
Have any of you ever had to cut off friendships due to having too many of them? I want to have quality friendships.. and most of these friends of mine probably want that, too, but if I have to divide up my time between a large amount of people, I can't get close to anyone...
It's about delegating and making time for people, being someone they can trust and count on. I have a few friends who are total extroverts and have large circles of legitimate friends themselves and though becuase of this I don't get to see them as often, (because they have to make time for everyone else) I don't mind because when we're together we have a lot of fun and we share some really good times. True friends will probably understand that you have to spread yourself around :3 Really, there's no need to cut someone off, especially if you consider them a friend, just because you want to be close to a lot of people.
I haven't cut anyone off purely because I felt I was dividing my time between too many friends, but I have cut off communication with people who I considered friends because I didn't think we could ever really have a meaningful, trusting friendship. I can understand feeling like having too many friends is spreading yourself too thin, though. Personally, I'm perfectly happy with my handful of close friends...but that could be because I have a strong dislike for people in general.
I don't have a dislike for people. I often prefer being alone, though, so this means making time for friends is already challenging. It's not that I plan on "excommunicating" anyone, it's just tough to make the conscious decision of "Okay, these are the friends I will no longer actively try to keep in contact with, and these are the ones that I will."
Agreed. 1) Dont rub it in that you are uberpopular. It makes the social outcasts feel bad. (Just kidding. I think.) 2) Why should you have to excommunicate anyone? The idea that there's this list you're making, and you're going to rank your friends, honestly, would make me not want to be your friend if you're going to, essentially, grade our friendship. In fact, why dont you just tell all your friends that, and they will cut that list down to size for you. Friendships arent measured in time spent together... and a lot of friends wont mind if you dont see them every weekend. I dont. My best friend lives in another state, and we only get to see each other very rarely. I havent seen her since June. But we are still best friends. And just because you have 100 friends doesnt mean that you cant have a meaningful relationship with ones with whom you get along best. It's called balance, and no one can help you learn that but once you do learn it (on your own), life will be much easier and more manageable. Trust me. Dont burn unnecessary bridges. If you are seriously considering ending friendships and walking up to someone and saying, "We cant be friends anymore; I have too many better ones," then, as harsh as this might sound, you are not being a good friend. I'm a stubborn and uncompromising and unsympathetic person in general, but I fail to understand your line of reasoning here. It sounds like this is a really pretentious problem you're having here, and if you dont worry about it too much, it will work itself out. xx Ragdoll, as someone who just said that her best friend lives hundreds of miles away here is my advice: Long-distance friendships are just like long-distance relationships. More of them fail than succeed, but this does not have to be the end if you dont want it to be. If you want long-distance friendships / relationships to work, you need to put in a lot of effort. Call your friend often, skype her or something. Make plans to see each other regularly, even if it is much less frequently. But dont rely on texting and facebook 100% of the time; relationships grow from time spent together and even if you cant be there in person, it can help when you see someone's face and hear someone's voice. Texting and facebook are convenient and okay resources, but if you want more out of your friendship, you'll need to give more as well. As for the time while she is still here? I agree with Cogito; tell her that this kind of problem is new to you, you feel overwhelmed, and that you're not quite sure how to deal with it, but that you are affected and upset by it. She will likely understand your feelings... you are not alone. Good luck, and I feel your pain.
As someone with her majortity of friends being miles and states and countries away, Long Distance friendships aren't so hard. With the internet and the phone and skype and all that crap it's pretty easy to keep in contact. I mean, I don't crave physical contact with people so maybe it's a little easier for me to deal but you shouldn't be too sad :3 They'll still be there for you even of they're far away and vice versa.
Not quite. The idea that I should ration contact to certain friends didn't come to me from an overinflated ego or sociopathic hierarchy of friends like you presumed, but rather from a lack of time and having a large group of friends that I feel close to. I go across the country every Fall to college, and this summer was the last summer that all us were going to be in the same town together. Essentially, this is the last time most of us are ever going to see each other. I am leaving in two weeks to go back to school. I have many friends I want to see before I leave, but there isn't enough time to see them all. In my post I never mentioned excommunicating anyone or burning any bridges, but rather having to decide who I will put forth effort in continuing friendships with. Does that sound as egotistical as you portrayed it? Whether or not we admit it, we all rank our friends. Having a best friend is an example of that. Maybe we don't ever stop and say "I like Bill more than Ted.", because the moral twinge of that might sting too much, but there are always people we call first when we are in need, people we can rely and count on more than others. You do it. I do it. It's not a bad thing. For everyone, the list is there. I'm not trying to sound popular ( I don't care about that. ) or condescending, I'm just asking a legitimate question about a general life issue, because this is, as they say, the Tavern for it.
Makes a lot more sense now, though in all fairness your question was vague at best and made you sound like an ass when you don't put it in context. My brother has the same problem when he visits when he's on leave-- too many friends and not enough time. And yes, we do have a list-- I know I do. I rank people. But since we have that list, I don't see why you're having trouble deciding who to spend time with.
My fault. I should have taken the time to give a little background to the situation . I've figured out what I'll do though, so it's all good.
Mmm, 'pologies. Regardless of your motives I shouldnt have sounded as snippy as I did in that last post. (Last night was bad in general, forgive me.) Although I think that, yes, with a bit more information I might have responded a little bit differently and a bit more helpfully about the situation. ... I guess you dont need it now though. The situation without any reasoning, as if you're deciding to cut down your number of friends for the sake of it, does sound a bit pretentious. But you have good reason to, I think. I know the feeling. And the popularity remark was just poorly delivered humor... Good luck with whatever you're going to do.
As a random opening comment, the woman whose pic is used as the Netflix Shutter Island ad right above the typing box looks like a young Molly Weasley :O. Ugh, middle school drama. A close male friend of mine has been ignoring ("ignoring" as in not paying attention to their conversations, and leaving her to talk with other people after just a few seconds) one of my friends lately, and it was really hurting her feelings. Meanwhile, he and I are having a surprisingly awesome time together (this was a little after we stopped "like-liking" each other). I felt a bit bad that she was so upset, so I made him reconcile with her. He admitted he was taking her for granted, and all is well. I'm just a bit worried that now he'll start ignoring ME now, since he's been known to do that as well -___-....
The guy sounds like a bit of a d*ck to me. Why don't both of you ignore him? Life's hard enough, without spending it hoping this guy grants you an audience.
Ok. This is rather concerning me and I didn't know where else to put this. I've recently decided to lose a bit of weight and I've been living a more active life style and cutting down on the amount I eat. I've been doing this for two weeks now, but lately I've been getting this weird sensation in my arm that I've never felt before starting this weight loss regime. It feels like my right arm is vibrating, and both arms are noticeably thinner, as is my body overall but not to the extent my arms are. Is this something to worry about?
You could be getting the shakes or something from a lack of sugar? Drastic changes in diet can do weird things. You've gotta go to your doctor and ask, by the sounds of it. You know your own body. If something's wrong, don't leave it.
