Sounds like she's working on driving him completely out of her life the moment he can get by on his own. My mother was nowhere hear that bad, but I severed all contact with her for six years when I was not much older then he is.
I can relate. I wish I could suggest something other than patience. Mommy Dearest can make things difficult and frustrating for you and Andrew, but all she's really doing is destroying her relationship with her son.
Yeah. They have no idea how miserable he is. He always looked deflated after they called while he was in residence.
Wow, Rei. It sounds like he needs to sit down and have a very serious talk with his parents. Joel's mom wasn't that bad when I lived with her, but she and Joel had to have some pretty serious boundary talks because of stuff similar to that. Has he tried talking to his parents about that before? If not, then it might do some good. If so...then I'm very, very sorry that you both have to put up with that.
This is so infuriating. I know he can stand up to people, but he's just not read to stand up to his mother. He's less and less happy every day, and part of the reason is that he can't do any of the things he wants to do because most of those things require him to leave the farm and they won't let him use the car unless it's to look for jobs.
Is he an only child... or did she have a mis-carriage, cause that's pretty overly protective. I know a guy in a similar situation and he had a twin who died in the womb.
He may be good at standing up to people, but parents aren't people. They are far more than that. They represent an entire social structure, one which played a huge part in shaping him into who he is now. They also represent safety and a fallback position, and he is not ready to risk launching forth without a safe haven he can rely on if he stumbles.
agreed... standing up to your parents is a whole new kettle of fish... The only way to do it sometimes is if you do it with as little thought as possible.
He's important to you, isn't he? Hang in there, and don't let them win. With no disrespect intended, I know patience is not your strong suit. But really, I think you'll regret it if you allow them to drive you two apart. This is not easy for Andrew, either.
I've been through this before with another guy. The problems were different, but the end result was that he was not willing to fight to make it work either. Andrew is everything I want and need, with one exception. He doesn't know how to take charge of his own life and is too afraid to try.
I just don't see us having a future until he learns to stand up for himself. And it's not just his parents. It's about me keeping my anger and need for control in check so I also don't mistreat him. I do my best to monitor myself, and I'm way better than I used to be, but slip-ups happen. If he can't stand up for himself and catch me when I do slip, he could end up just as unhappy with me as he is with them. Update, okay, he has at least refused to turn off his computer when his parents wanted to unplug the internet today.
Age is irrelevant. It's personality that gets to girls (well, most of the time ) You're going to have more of a struggle if you're shorter, since girls don't like being taller than the guy. But as long as you're taller, you've got as good a chance as any guy regardless of age. I was going to go out with another guy (long story) and he's almost a year younger than me. I wasn't phased by that. I was a little disappointed, however, that he was at least 3 inches shorter than me.
Agreed. Well, sort of. I don't like to date guys youn ger than me but I love it when they're older, and most girl I know do :3 I couldn't agree more about the height thing though; My ex was a little shorter than me and it was always a disappointment. Tall guys
Andrew and I are about the same height. Never was an issue. I don't want a guy who is much taller than me.
I could deal with a guy the same height as me I think, but I just have this attraction to really tall guys. I think I just like to feel cute and small when I'm with my man. I'm glad I'm not too short though, so I can still feel formidlible on my own :3
I prefer guys who are taller than me, but I'm only 5'3, so it's never been a problem, ha. I don't like them to be overly tall though -- I once dated someone who was 6'4, and he just felt like the hulk next to me. Personality and character, though, trumps all things physical in my mind. ---- Regarding a non-assertive person, I wouldn't be happy with that situation either, Rei. In my opinion, though, the problem isn't him, it's you. You have to find someone who's already right for you, not someone you want to change. But again, just my thoughts on the matter. I wish you the best.
Yeah, this last guy I was with was 6'6 and I liked it, but I would have been just as happy with someone 6'0. Mm, my ex and I had all these things we wanted to change about eachother; trust me, people like that won't survive. =/ No matter how hard you want it or fight for it or try. . .
It seems we have some estrogen present, so I'm going to ask something thats bothered me a bit: When a woman/girl falls head over heels for a guy for whatever reason, is that borderline psychopathy or, dare I say, normal? I've been given both the cold shoulder and the "You're perfect for me" speech on first dates before, but seriously, there ain't alot going on over here. Can any of the ladies here give an explanation for these seemingly random reactions? On the subject of Rei's bf, it sounds like he's making some progress, he just needs time. I don't suppose he's close enough to town to, oh I dunno, walk? Or ride a bike there?
Men go doolally over women too, it's universal and not something women hold the key to answering. Most people have the capacity to fall in love somewhat prematurely at some stage in their lives. It's weird that you characterised it as borderline psychopathy. It sounds more like schoolgirl infatuation if you liken it to a mental imbalance, lol. As for the hot and cold reactions from different girls.. well, everyone is different. You could be one girl's trash or another girl's treasure.
