I just don't know... shes on and off with the staring. Today she just looked at me for a min when i wasn't looking and she looked down on her paper but that was the only time she did that. We were reading The Giver so i didn't to talk to her yet... and lunch was jamm packed with kids and i barely had time to eat.... im still so confused.
I'm a really shy person, really shy. I'm going to a knew highschool and the only people I ever talk to is people I was friends with before and some of their friends.So in all the makes up three people I'm able to hold a conversation with and only ones a guy, out of a total of 40 kids, so about one guy out of 25 guys. And I don't know what to do, I really want to get over my shyness and enjoy the company of others, but I just find that too hard. And I'm going to be spending the next three years with these guys and I want to atlease be able to speak full sentences to the guys in my class.
I know what you mean about shyness. I think the best thing you can do is just go for it. Be brave and talk to people. Even if it's just hello, it's a start. You'll be in a new school with new people and if you don't make the most of it at the start, it's only going to get harder. Trust me, I know. I wish I could go back in time and be braver at the start of uni but hey ho, never mind. In a way, it might be better if you keep telling yourself 'I'm confident, I can do this, I'm just going to talk to people, nothing big' and then just do it, rather than overthink about it. Focus on talking to a couple of people at first, make sure you don't hide away, sit next to someone at class and try and strike up a conversation even if it's just 'Hi, I'm Lost_in_Thought'. Basically, don't wait around for someone to talk to you, you've got to try and be brave and initiate the conversation sometimes. Even just being brave enough to sit next to someone and make eye contact with them is a good start. I know that may seem impossibly hard but you have to break that barrier and just talk to people. May not be the best advice, but you've got to face your fears an' all that. Anyway, good luck.
The shy one was in line behind me at lunch today with her friends and one of them yelled out something to embarrass her i guess, but she did look at me a few times during lunch. Then i overheard her friends teasing her and she said she didn't like me like that, like she was in denial. All of a sudden she's not as shy at Lunch, but in class she's very quiet. We glanced at each other alot today, most of them were not neutral but weak smiles. I would of talked to her at lunch while i was waiting but after what her friend said to embarrass her and the fact 3 others were around stopped me from saying hi. If it was just her and her one friend that's nice to me, (the same one who yelled something out to embarrass her) was there, i probably would of said hi for sure. -_- I was so close!
Times must be desperate if I'm getting involved. Just talk to her. She won't like you if you don't let her get to know you. Just lose your inhibitions and say hi. Show some confidence. Shyness isn't a weakness, but it's become a crutch you're leaning against to justify not talking to her. You're reminding me of me when I was 15. I got over my inhibitions by the time I was 17 and lo and behold I had a girlfriend. I'm no great shakes with women (comedy tale involving a married woman and Laura aside), but that's as much down to having a restrictive timetable over the past few years. If I can do it, you can. Easiest thing in the world. Just say hi, don't just smile and look and hope she'll make that move you haven't.
Sorry if i irritate you, im kinda new to this and i just need to learn. I need to just talk to her and smile, and try not to freak out. That's my goal here... When your shy, everything that a normal person does everyday can seem like an impossible task.
Sorry I forgot to use sarcasm font. But yeah that was a joke np whatever works for you. But yeah you have a very attainable goal.
My good friend moved away a couple of weeks ago and I miss her dearly. It would also seem she has changed quite a bit, from that rude, stubborn, tsundear attitude that loved to get in fights and mingle with the wrong crowed, to a much more calm, tender, sweet, and dare I say girlie person. Needless to say, I am quite sick of my mind deciding now was a good time to become attracted to her and to become jealous of her new boyfriend. (Though I am very glad he is much the opposite of the other people she's dated in the past.) I suppose that's the way the world works though; you don't know what'cha got till it's gone? And on another note, my ex-girlfriend is apparently telling people that I broke up with her and am trying to force the blame on her. Mind you, she's saying this now after nearly a year since she broke up with me, but whatever. I can rest easy knowing that at least I enjoyed our time together. :I
I met a guy about a month and a half ago, through mutual friends; we all went to a few festivals together. He's a decent guy, and I enjoy spending time with him. I saw him again a few weeks ago at a party he was hosting, and he was extremely forward toward me to the point that it made me uncomfortable. Flattered, but uncomfortable. He calls & / or texts me all the time (way more often than daily), and I'm not sure what to say back. I try to be friendly and maintain the friendship that we had before he got all aggressive and only respond once in a while, and he usually plays along with that. I don't know what to do. I don't mind his company when we are all together as a group, and he is usually a fun contributor, but he is making me really uncomfortable now, and I'm not sure how to make it clear to him to please back off. As some of you know, I'm a bit of a pushover and have quiet a difficult time with foreign, awkward, and potentially confrontational social situations. I've never had to be in this position before --sometimes there will be a guy who is seriously aggressive, but he gets the picture eventually, and none of those guys were ever really friends of mine. How do I get him to back off? It sucks too because I am friends with his girlfriend (yeah, he's got a girlfriend), and I don't know what if anything I should say to her. I don't want to get involved in a mess like that or be responsible for starting drama (even if I would only be the messenger). He's also good friends with one of my closest friends ever, and I don't want to jeopardize that either. He has put me in a really uncomfortable position, and I'm not sure which path is the best way out of it. It'd be easier if I could just say, "Hey, I'm seeing someone now," but the guy who I have been interested in and sort of seeing is acting very strange right now, which I find very hurtful. I know he's had a rough few days that have taken a toll emotionally and physically (and his roommate, also a friend of mine, said that he's shut everyone out these past two days), but it's almost to the point of being rude, and now I'm over-analyzing everything and wondering if and what I did wrong. Why do the ones you want never come around, and the ones you don't want never back off? And I'm not exactly over the guy who was deployed three-four weeks ago either, which is complicating things. We talk a lot, and I think we can maintain a close friendship. He's coming back next year and should stick around at least in the same state for a year or two before his next out-of-state (or country) deployment... by which time I will already have graduated and be the one leaving. He's a good guy but I'm trying to make myself give up on him, at least for the time being, and move on.
Admin: sorry I can't help. Mercurial:But as for the next question, find out what he really wants. And of course tell him, he could be depressed or have something bigger going on. But he should understand multiple pointless conversations can get very tedious. Xeno: Any update?
Thanks, Color I still don't really know what to do about the first guy, but things with this other guy are going better at least. We're going to see each other this Friday. He had a rough few days (we all did, coming off a pretty crazy weekend). What's weird is that he is just like me and needs a lot of space to himself. I'm just not used to being on the other side of the fence, haha. A learning experience for sure... I think I just was (and to an extent still am) a little confused and worried because he is so nonvocal. I tend to need reassurance about things (low self esteem / confidence for the win...!), but I think --and here I am getting ahead of myself-- if anything happens with this guy, I am going to need to learn to realize the small things he does and the little things he gives away rather than the words he says. It's a new experience for me and probably a good one...
No not really, i still haven't talked to her yet because i don't know how to take this. Her and her 4 friends just stared at me from a distance. First time ive seen them do that, now im wondering if that's a red flag or what cause i have no idea. I would talk to her but not i don't know cause they were eating lunch with whoever's dad and they pointed at me to him and he looked to see. I think that is a serious warning shot. But who knows. I feel intimidated from what just happened today. She hasn't been looking at me much until lunch time. I was waiting for the right opportunity cause i keep having to rush my meals at lunch but now im not sure if i should. I know how Fathers are protective over their daughters...now i feel like a creeper but i didn't do anything. See that makes me think that they are scared of me or something. I don't want to be misjudged for something im not. I don't smile when i stare but i don't make harsh glares or still glares but i just give a neutral look and expression. I just don't smile back cause i just don't know... I feel so intimidated...
If you're worried that you're coming off as intimidating, then you should smile. People are bad at reading other peoples' mannerisms sometimes, especially so when they aren't familiar with one another. You don't have to approach her yet if you're shy, but you should at least come off as nonthreatening if you want any shot with her at all. And about the overprotective father bit, coming from someone who has an overprotective father (I'm his only child, and my family brought me up as strictly Catholic and the whole thing), I feel like that's a bit of a stereotype that is just perpetuated by bad teen movies and television shows. I don't know any father who has sat down with a boy that his daughter was going to date and had a serious talk with him. That is generally reserved for further down the line in pretty serious relationships, imo, and even then it's not really scary... I don't know any father who has outright told a boy to have his daughter back by a certain time or that if he broke her heart, he'd break the boy's face... That just doesn't happen. I remember my first "date" (I was twelve, so I'm not sure that counts ), my father was laughing about it the whole time because we were comically young --and the boy was such a silly kid. (Now I'm off down memory lane... hah). And my first real date, my dad didn't even show his face. He had a brief but serious talk with me about it, but he never really spoke to any of my boyfriends. Not that I ever really brought them home much to begin with. My dad hardly even asked about boys then, and he never does now. He did throw a fit over the last one when he found out that he wasn't in college like he thought a guy who dates me "should be" (he's in the Army... okay, Dad), but he's since learned to butt out and doesn't even ask if or who I'm dating. So I wouldn't worry about that or use it as something to hide behind as another reason you could be shy. Personally I think you should walk over and introduce yourself or find a way to get closer to her and make conversation happen naturally, like sit near her in class or at the same lunch table or ask her about homework. If you stare like you say you do and have been doing that for a while, I would probably be a little confused and possibly concerned too... to be honest with you. I doubt she's going to make the first move. She seems to be unsure of what you want, and whether you like it or not, guys are usually expected to make the first move anyway. Swallow your nerves and just do something. The worst that could happen is that she rejects you --which is scary, certainly-- and you end up moving on, learning from it, and finding someone different and potentially better.
