That Moment...

Unfortunately, I feel much the same. I was really motivated initially, but I have a really hard time envisioning stories to write and don't think I'm familiar enough with the quality or structure of my genre, so it might take months of reading before I feel better about it. Sucks big, though, not that I was expecting a cakewalk. I dunno, try to think about what exactly the issue is and how you can fix it.

 

TMW you realize that since you can't smell anything (apparently I have anosmia, the inability to smell) none of your characters will be able to smell.

TMW you realize you're like a blind guy trying to describe an object using visual cues (ie, the ball was red with black dots.) Or a deaf person trying to describe sound (ie, the thunderclap boomed and roared through the sky/the baby's shriek was like daggers inside the eardrums/the woman's voice was light, silky, soothing)

Dear God, how do I write smell!? D:

 

Says who? I have no idea what it's like to be a vampire, but you can't stop me from writing about it! Yes I realize it's not quite the same dilemma, but hey. It's fiction, isn't it? Do whatever you want!



*bonk bonk bonk* Write the thing, Link! *chases with bonking bat*

You wing it, bro. Ask a smelly person? Also, Science (TM) is making leaps and bounds in being able to restore these senses. So, maybe you can be smelly too one day.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2238967/June-sense-smell-37-years-But-sinus-rinse-brought-hours.html <- sense of smell

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-33442820 <- deafness

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-34384073 <- blindness

 

TMW you have The Wheels on the Bus in your head, and it's made some new lyrics. For your viewing misery, I've posted them here:

The German on the bus goes, "Nein, nein, nein"
"Nein, nein, nein"
"Nein, nein, nein"
The German on the bus goes, "Nein, nein, nein"
All through the town!

The villain on the bus goes, "Bwa ha ha"
"Bwa ha ha"
"Bwa ha ha"
The villain on the bus goes, "Bwa ha ha"
All through the town!

The hero on the bus goes to save the day
save the day
save the day
The hero on the bus goes to save the day
All through the town!

Dear God, make it stop! D:

 

That moment when you have a new theme song.

 

Hope you enjoy, Imaginarily. :>

TMW you realize that if you attach the wrong plot to a theme, the story won't work because both the plot and theme carry the other, imo. TMW you see this in two of your works. <takes tweezers> Let me rectify this.

TMW you realize that the relationship between your cast of major characters may be a tad too convenient. To wit:
My MC and one of his buddies go to college together.
My MC's cousin and his buddy's sister goes to middle school together.
My MC, the cousin, and his buddy's sister are hearing impaired.

Hmm...some tweaking this will require, yes? <strokes chin pensively>

 

TMW you donate to PETA for a friend who wanted it as a gift, PETA sells your contact info to dozens of animals rights groups without notifying you, and you receive at least 2 mailings a week from those groups. Even if I ignored the fact that they support hanging people as acceptable punishment, I would never support such a shady organization. They make non-extremist animal rights groups look bad.

 

TMW you imagine satirical songs that poke fun at the PC culture in the United States.

TMW you wish you...

(1) Had a decent salary and a beautiful singing voice.

(2) A Youtube Channel and skilled at video editing.

(3) Was from the UK so anyone I pissed off would have to cross an entire ocean to get at me.

 

Oh my god! Oh my God! Pick me! Pick me!

Photosynthesis Dammit!

No, but really, pick a song, if you have one in mind. I really want to try my hand at this.

 

All right, though I'll have to write it out first.

 

Argh! I left my Oxford A Very Short Introduction to Self-Reliance at my sugar momma's

 

TMW chronic pain hits, it feels like everything from the shoulder and up is dying as words slur out of my mouth like an endless incomprehensive noodle.

 

TMW you want to post a "TMW you realize that Leif Garrett was the prettiest girl ever during the 1970's" but realize those kind of moments aren't allowed anymore. :/

Spoiler: Leif

 

TMW you for the first time, ever, realise that the storyline needs a kill. One of the characters you have grown fond for, you have nurtured and sweated over giving them just the right words. No way around it anymore.

 

TMW you're training on how to be a mod of another forum and, when experimenting with the Report function, you report yourself and get a few people quite annoyed at you indeed.

In short, the Report Function sends a screaming "CODE RED! CODE RED!" to all the other mods and they have to look at it to see if it checks out and contemplate their next move.

So...if I ever become Mod here, please remind me to not do that to all the other mods here during my training session.

 

You better not ever do that here. Every time a post is reported a loud alarm goes off and we all have to report to the admin in full uniform within 10 seconds. And if it's a false alarm...

No, but seriously. Why would a forum have a system like that? Here on WF we get an indicator that says that we have a report or two to look at, and that's it. No alarms. And if anyone ever reports someone by accident, who cares? It can happen to anyone.

 

TMW you go onto the Bethesda forums again and spot a thread where, to sum up, someone (who has family in the military) is offended because in Fallout 4, there exists an item known as the Trifold American Flag that is considered 'junk', and stated they had emailed Bethesda (an American company, mind) to release a patch to get it fixed.

TMW where you, as an American, who got offended over GTA V, are now completely unsure how to take this in. I know I may take things a little too seriously, I know I can be too overly sensitive to the point where anything could be offensive, but damn, this just...wow.

 

Just curious.

Which part of GTA V offended you? Don't worry won't debate or nothing or anything as we all have our different ticks but I like to learn about people and all and what can grind peoples gears. As for Fallout 4.

It makes sense for the USA Flag to be seen as junk. I mean the USA hasn't been an actual country for like 100-200 odd years in the Fallout universe (which is post-apocaylpse), right? They call them old world flags. Like Uylsess wore the stars and stripes on his jacket.

 

I think it's just the mean-spirited humor and the overabundance of stereotypes that I don't like. Look, I'm not one of those Americans who thinks the US is the most perfect nation ever, it never did anything wrong, etc. I crack jokes about the US a lot, yet I don't really do it in a mean-spirited way. I know that not every American are this or that, like Grand Theft Auto does. If the protagonists were even the least bit interesting, I would like it more. Instead, I'm just playing a bunch of scumbags doing crime and blaming it on the US. At least Saints Row is honest in that whatever the Boss and his/her crew does, they blame themselves and are gloriously happy about it.

But here's where I differ from that poster I mention. I'm offended and I just simply don't play it. I don't petition Rockstar to stop making the series all together. I just go about my business and play games that I do like. Games like Saints Row.

And yeah, that does make sense, which is why it was absurd for me to see that thread. It was...startling to say at the least. o__O

----

TMW you imagine a scene to put into your Colonial mystery. It's a good scene, you think. An interesting scene. Until, that is you switch the POV from your blind MC to one of your major female leads and it suddenly turns from a mystery to an erotica. I will post what flashed through my mind:

"As she stared at Amos' eyes, Emily's breasts hardened, her legs grew wobbly as her breath came in short, sudden bursts. The way they danced, rolled, and jerked around in his head . . . Mesmerizing . . ."

Please note the following for context:

+ This is a mystery.

+ The scene was simply her asking if she could assist him in solving the mystery.

+ They had just met, like a few hours ago and have no reason to develop any feelings for each other whatsoever.

+ Amos is 13-14. Emily is around 17-18.

Gee, thanks brain. >:[ You've made Emily get a hard-on over Amos' blindness, thus making her look kind of creepy!

Also, TMW you realize you wax good writing (well, for the most part) on the forums when you're not really writing, yet when you are writing in your manuscript, you look like crap.

 

That moment when you're reminded of that quote that goes something like, " 'I'm offended!' ...Yeah? So fucking what?" and you wish people would find their big-girl panties and stop crying already.

Also that moment when you have the best horse in the whole world.

...And that moment when you glance down to find your cat, sitting politely by your computer chair, staring at you unblinking, and wonder how long he's been there.

 

That moment when you find out that your copy of A Clockwork Orange that you've never finished is the version with twenty, not twenty-one, chapters -- all the less incentive to tackle it, but seemingly shorter now. But this is offset by discovering that some philosophy of art books, also unread, have more dedication to literature in them than you thought. What? I got 'em all at a good price.

 

They aren't?

Isn't this the golden age of appreciating other people's looks? Why else would Instagram and FB exist if it wasn't?

 

It's not to apprecciate other's looks, but to have ones own looks apprecciated.

 

Yeah, well, posting a perfectly angled and filtered picture to Insta/FB and not getting positive feedback on it is like cooking a meal to your friends and no one compliments it.