That Moment...

TMW you walk down the driveway, get into your car, look back at the house and wonder if you really locked the door or if you're just remembering the million other times you've done this.

...followed by:

TMW the aforementioned has just happened and you realize you've been sitting there in your car for an appreciable amount of time, torn between leaving and going back to the front door to check it.

 

That moment when you have to stand up in front of people and you have a chubby growing down your pants leg.

 

I suffer this all the time. 99% of the time, I get out of the car and go check!

 

That moment when you get into bed, turn off the light and then say to your partner/husband/wife/bed sharer, "did you close the garage door?"

Which usually results in me getting up, going downstairs, unlocking the door and going to the end of the drive to see if the garage door's closed.

I recently made my husband so paranoid about this that when he now puts the car in the garage, he takes a photo on his mobile phone of the closed garage door!

 

How do you know he isn't just showing you the same photo over and over again?

 

pic is date/time stamped!

 

TMW when you come across the fact that someone named Nash Grier is "famous" and when look for the how, where, and why of his "fame", none of the answers to any of the aforementioned questions make any sense to you in any way.

"He's a what doing what on the what?" I stop and think for a moment, and then say, "Did one of you guys put LSD in my Sprite again?! That's not fuqin' funny. I have work to do!"

 

He did what for a what with a what?

 

I had to google him just now, and I found out that there's something called "Vine" that is, apparently, a thing. You can post six-second videos. So now we have Twitter, with a 140-character limit, and Vine, with a six-second limit, and we no longer have an attention span that can be measured even with powerful scientific instruments.

 

Uhm what?

 

tl;dr

 

That moment...
you say something flirty back to a girl and she awkwardly explains that she was never flirting with you.

 

That moment when you are having sex and you realize the dog/cat is at the edge of the bed just staring at you

 

That moment you see a spider on the ceiling over your bed, and when you try to smack him, he drops onto the bed and scuttles under the covers, and you turn the covers back and can't find him! And it's bedtime! Aaargh!

 

It matters whether it's the dog or the cat.

 

That moment when Adam saw a naked woman holding an apple in front of him and chose the apple.

 

por que'?

 

No, not pork (update your spellchecker, btw). Dog or cat. Nobody has a pet pig unless they're just aging bacon.

 

That moment...
you walk into the bathroom and have to check if they flushed.

 

That moment...
you realize the text assist on your phone turned clapped into crapped in the sentence, " I never crapped so much at a performance in my life."

 

TMW you like a sex joke on Facebook and realize it was your mom's or dad's or grandma's... wait whaaa??

TMW everything your parents said to you as a kid actually makes total sense...

TMW you're talking to someone who has effing no clue what you're talking about, and you must finally accept you're a total nerd... mmmm...

TMW you're trying to go to the bathroom at night and the hallway transforms into an obstacle course of toys, misplaced stools, and a rowdy cat...

 

That moment when you keep trying to catch someone's eye, and end up catching someone else's eye - and then they start flirting with you. O.O

 

TMW, after waiting fifteen minutes for your overshirt to dry (it has that special pocket you like to keep your cell phone in), you finally get it out of the dryer and put it on, and run out of the house to finally go to the appointment you're almost about to miss because you were waiting for your shirt (without which you can't bring your cell phone, which is Very Important), and you're almost parking the car at your appointment and you realize you forgot to bring your damn cell phone after all! You waited for the shirt so you could bring the phone, and forgot the damn phone!

Argh.

 

Close the bedroom door (with the pet on the other side).

That moment the cat goes to do his business right after you've shoveled the dirty kitty litter into the garbage and are already running late for work so there's no time to clean it again, but then there's the danger that if you don't, he'll crap all over the carpets in revenge because in his opinion you haven't kept his majesty's toilet clean enough.

 

TMW you're watching Alien3 and you ask yourself, "Why does Ripley know how to hot wire busted-to-bits-Bishop, the inexplicably juicy robot?" She's a flight officer from a mining ship turned badass alien killer, but at no point in the franchise do I remember her taking a juicy-robot repair course at the local community college.