That Moment...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Lewdog, Jul 8, 2014.

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  1. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    @Moon :superlaugh:
     
    Cave Troll, Aug 23, 2017
    #5901
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  2. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    This would have been perfect if the DHL guy was there to pick up the item the UPS guy was delivering, but didn't know it yet. UPS guy: "Your package, sir. Sign here." You sign and accept it. DHL guy: "You have a package to be sent, sir?" You slap a new label on the UPS box and hand it to the DHL guy. Moon: "Right here, and just in time! This calls for a beer!" You open three cold beers and the three of you toast the morning as the camera pulls back, revealing happy wildlife at the edges of the frame. Director: "Cut!" It is finally revealed that this is a commercial for the Ford F-150 pickup in your driveway. "Halt! You're all under arrest!" says the military police. It turns out the location chosen for this commercial is Area 51. Moon, the UPS guy, the DHL guy, and the whole crew are carted away in cuffs to be anal-probed. The closing slogan appears, reading: "Friends don't let friends do, ah, what these guys were doing."

    o_O
     
    minstrel, Aug 23, 2017
    #5902
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  3. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    When a simple "like" won't do.
     
    Iain Aschendale, Aug 23, 2017
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  4. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    TMW you want to write, but your pet (who is afraid of thunder) keeps begging you to pet him.
     
    Link the Writer, Aug 23, 2017
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  5. hirundine

    hirundine Contributor Contributor

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    That moment when it really is time to retire your favourite bible and get a new one with larger print.
     
    hirundine, Aug 24, 2017
    #5905
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  6. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    "He walked back to his house and reflected on how he missed having a dog. Dogs were generally incompatible with melancholy."

    - John Connolly, A Game of Ghosts
     
    Earp, Aug 24, 2017
    #5906
  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    TMW this conversation happens over dinner:

    Wife: Hey, Homer?
    Me: Wassup, dumpling buns?
    Wife: Have you heard of an author named James Patterson?
    Me: Mm-hmm. Sure have.
    Wife: He lives in [name of our town].
    Me: You mean our town our town?
    Wife: Sure does.
    Me: No, he doesn't.
    Wife: Yes, he does. My patient says he lives right next door to her.
    Me: Nope.
    Wife: How do you know?
    Me: There's two thousand people in our town. If one of them was James Patterson, We'd know it. Plus we'd be able to see his crib from space. Does your patient have dementia, by chance?
    Wife: Early onset, yes.
    Me: Have some more wine, dumpling buns.
    Wife: Okay. (sips wine) Is he a popular author?
    Me: Sure is.
    Wife: [googles Patterson] Okay, he lives in Palm Beach. Wow... his net worth is $700 million!
    Me: Sounds about right.
    Wife: Are you going to make $700 million?
    Me: Probably not. Pass the salt, please.
     
    Homer Potvin, Aug 26, 2017
    #5907
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  8. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Lemme guess: you married her for her dumpling buns, yes? ;)

    (Oh, relax. I'm just in a Friday mood.) o_O
     
    minstrel, Aug 26, 2017
    #5908
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  9. HisSweetheart

    HisSweetheart Member

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    TMW you feel like jumping up and down because Trump pardoned Sheriff Joe Arpaio!! Go Trump!:cheerleader::supergrin:
     
    HisSweetheart, Aug 26, 2017
    #5909
  10. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Bet your ass!
     
    Homer Potvin, Aug 26, 2017
    #5910
  11. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Though you realize that you have expectations to meet now, write? ;)
     
    Cave Troll, Aug 26, 2017
    #5911
  12. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    TMW the puppy has thrown his favourite toy over the back of the sofa and now can't find it - the world as we know it has ended, illium has fallen, rome is burning.... but i'm so comfortable here with my laptop and my cup of tea

    Oh okay.... sigh... i'll get it for you, you daft pooch

    TMW 5 minutes later when he does it again
     
    big soft moose, Aug 26, 2017
    #5912
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  13. hirundine

    hirundine Contributor Contributor

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    Your puppy sounds like it would make a good playmate for my Simple Cat, if she wasn't absolutely terrified of dogs.
     
    hirundine, Aug 26, 2017
    #5913
  14. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Why are you jumping up and down? I don't know anything about this.
     
    123456789, Aug 26, 2017
    #5914
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  15. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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    Some people's children....
     
    Spencer1990, Aug 26, 2017
    #5915
  16. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    @The Dapper Hooligan, savor this moment when you are the perfect member of the board, with your posts and likes in complete balance:

    Hooligan.png
     
    Iain Aschendale, Aug 27, 2017
    #5916
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  17. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Five minutes well-spent in the workshop:



    [​IMG]
    Iain Aschendale
    "Cue the artillery"
    JuniorAssistantMember
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    matwoolf, Aug 27, 2017
    #5917
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  18. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Good morning all. :love: I'm gonna be playing 'Zelda: Breath of the Wild' today.
     
    Link the Writer, Aug 27, 2017
    #5918
    The Dapper Hooligan likes this.
  19. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    This morning I've been writing a scene where there's four feet of snow on the ground. I looked out my window and, for a fraction of a second, I wondered why there was no snow.
     
    Sclavus, Aug 27, 2017
    #5919
    Shenanigator and Lifeline like this.
  20. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    TMW you get hit on by a girl who's so young you're not interested (not that young , she was working the til in tesco so she must have been 18+ but she still looked like a kid to me, pretty girl but...just ...no )
     
    big soft moose, Aug 27, 2017
    #5920
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  21. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Some of the older supermarket gals are feisty when I give them my, I call it my supermarket smile. Seventy-five years old, I could have done her on the rolling til if it wasn't for the supervisor and my cat food. But I went home, needed to cut my toe nails, & freshen up first.
     
    matwoolf, Aug 27, 2017
    #5921
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  22. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Self esteem
     
    123456789, Aug 27, 2017
    #5922
  23. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    As if you've ever had sex in a supermarket, on the Friday busy shift, in front of customers?
     
    matwoolf, Aug 27, 2017
    #5923
  24. Thumpalumpacus

    Thumpalumpacus Alive in the Superunknown

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    TMW your old band's name, the Angry Postmen, seems more like a historical reference than sardonic commentary.

    Also, TMW when you say something very stupid, and she stills say, "I love you, baby."
     
    Thumpalumpacus, Aug 27, 2017
    #5924
  25. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    TMW you are messing around with the Text-To-Speech app and get this:

    "Cålvurta understood immediately what Elñamo meant. A war against Sürnatha's people would bring the brutal furies of both Kings Éoring and Îarka.

    "We have no choice," he said."

    So... yah. :p
     
    Link the Writer, Aug 28, 2017
    #5925
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