That Moment...

Your face tapers unnaturally from Nelson to Walter to who the heck are you now?

 

TMW you realize how introverted you've become over the past couple of years. I have had to be social day and night for almost two weeks straight for personal and professional reasons. I can turn on the old charming, talkative me because I’m so used to it, but man I am just so sick of talking to people at this point. I just want to hole up in my bedroom with my phone and not interact in person with other humans for at least a week.

 

I can relate to this. I get to where my dearest wish is for my phone to be cut off and my doorbell conk out. OR to tell people I'm going on holiday, when I'm not. I'm just hiding at home.

 

TMW you send an email to your state representative and finish it; Thank you for listening. (Or whoever in your office manages your office). I still feel so cheeky.

 

TMW your husband tells you Happy Birthday...by calling you ancient.

 

I know the feeling... The company I work for threw a big party last night, 500+ people attended, which meant a lot of small-talk and mingling for me. Completely pointless, all of it, and extremely exhausting. Unfortunately I don't have a charming/talkative switch, I just have a social/unsocial switch, so when I'm being social I'm more awkward than graceful... Which is why I stick to asking questions because I can't tell (out loud in human words) a story to save my life.

 

TMW you crack a joke about 'generic white dudes' on the Fallout Facebook group, after a poster said that your character (a black woman) looks generic...and that person gets uppity and asks, "The fuck is that suppose to mean?"

Aww... did someone get offended 'cause I cracked a joke about white dudes even though I myself am a white dude?

HEY WHITE GUYS, WE CAN'T MAKE FUN OF OURSELVES ANYMORE!!!

#Sarcasm

 

That moment when you are teaching hubby to cook via Plated, and 5 minutes in he cuts his finger on the peeler.

 

Them peelers is deadly, like. You gotta watch out they go after you the moment you turn your back.

 

Luckily he rallied. I love to cook but I'm afraid that if something ever happens to me he's going to starve to death.

 

Mine's especially sharp too - I've cut myself on it before when peeling beets or other awkwardly shaped veggies!

 

If you don't want to do something, volunteer for it eagerly and then fuck it up so badly they ask you to stop helping.

 

That's exactly how I got out of setting doctor/dentist appoints for myself and kids.

 

Wow, how do you cut yourself with a peeler? That takes talent.

 

Oh yeah, that's why I don't wear anything that needs special washing - my husband does the laundry more often than not and all I ask is that he separates the whites from the colors.

 

It's a Y peeler and wicked sharp, so it is a wee bit more dangerous than the traditional model. I have to admit I rolled my eyes quite a bit though!

 

@Laurin Kelly then keep him away from a Bloody-Mary (pro-carpet knife).

 

That moment when you're actually considering asking google how to say "oh sh** we're all going to die" in Icelandic.

 

TMW...you have Taser re-certification tomorrow and all the guys are trying to convince you to take a Taser shot again (mandatory for the initial certification, voluntary for re-cert)...and for some crazy reason you are half-tempted to do it...
It's not just a stun, it's one of these puppies:

 

Do it.