That Moment...

TMW you realize the only reason you bother with make-up in the morning is other women.

I mean, if I put it on for myself, I would never do it cos I don’t hate my face.

And I sure as hell have never done it for guys cos 99% of them don’t give a shit (in my experience).

Happy makeupless Monday everyone!

 

My mom almost never wore makeup, unless she and my dad went out to dinner together or something, then she caked it on (it was the 70s when they were still speaking to each other). Mrs A, on the other hand, has mastered a very natural look to her makeup, to where you'd never know she was wearing any if you hadn't watched her spend an hour fiddling with oils and lotions and pastes and whatever

 

One of the great mysteries of life is: why don't beautiful women realize they're even more beautiful without makeup? (BTW, this isn't one of those things people I would say just to seem accepting or politically correct. I've never seen a celebrity who didn't look better sans makeup (other than maybe Johnny Depp.))

 

She's making herself nice for me, son, bit o' slap, I take her out. You get back on your stool, bladdy pervert.

 

My own view about makeup has always been: nah. I used to play around with it when I was a teenager and read all the 'beauty' magazines, but I always wiped it off before I went out. It just made me feel uncomfortable. I guess with me, what you see is what you get. I always wore glasses as well, so eye makeup really never looked good with glasses plopped over the top. And eye makeup was the big wheeze for teenagers in the 1960s. I had some, but I never actually wore it. And I haven't owned any makeup since.

 

*tucks this little phrase away for later deployment when opportunity calls*

 

I'm not anti-make up as such. It can be a form of self-expression, art form or just a hobby to many women (and men). If they enjoy it, more power to them. I also understand if you have acne or, I guess, aren't blessed with traditionally good looks, you want to use make-up to gain more self-confidence, even if the outside world didn't actually care.

What bugs me is that I seem to succumb to peer pressure way too often and manage to just piss myself off when I'm dog-tired and cleaning up mascara smudges at 8 am. Many of my colleagues - wonderful people whom I love to bits - are also very stereotypical women in this sense. Looks, clothes, hair, make-up are a big deal to them, and you feel like you're part of the group if you too follow the gospel of their beauty bible. If I receive compliments from them, they very rarely have anything to do with my work performance and much more with my looks (this from women. Obviously in a professional environment men avoid complimenting women's appearance - double standards and all that). Anyway... #girlproblems, I'll shut up now.

 

That moment when you dive in for a competitive mile swim and because you lifted your head an inch too high, the force of the water pushes the goggles halfway down your face under your nose and you get chlorine in your eye and can't see what you're doing so you keep bumping into the lane lines. And you would stop to fix it except every second counts so you try and slowly nudge it with your arm every time you do a stroke but that also kind of slows you down because it's bad form and makes you wider in the water. Furthermore, the goggles being under your nose makes it damn near impossible to do anything except make it press up uncomfortably against the bottom of your nose. So after 4 or 5 laps(25 m each) of trying, you finally get fed up and during a flip turn, with your feet pressed up against the wall, take the 5 second slowdown necessary to adjust the goggles more or less on your eyes. Unfortunately, the goggles are now full of water so it's not a perfect solution but far better then not having them at all. But anyway, by the end of the race, one of your contacts has been out for like 200 meters and was just floating around inside of your goggles and your eyes are burning like crazy in addition to the fatigue which goes along with doing a mile race anyway.

 

Mr. Bean?

 

Never heard of that, was he in a similar predicament?

 

That moment when you have to make a not-quite-emergency appointment with the other dentist at the surgery because your dentist has broken his arm and you're pretty sure you don't have time to wait for him to get better.

(In case this sounds ungrateful, I am thankful that I could still get an appointment, but I have a phobia of dentists and would have much preferred to see the one I already know and trust. I suspect I have the beginnings of an abscess or at least some sort of infection, and if i'm right, yeah, that's really not something that can wait.)

 

That moment when the forums are back again.

 

My mother says women (usually) do that mainly to fit in with each other.

 

That moment when you meet up with some other Forum members on Twitter to commiserate about the server crash and start putting faces and real/pen names together with screen names. How can reality be surreal?

 

Good thing I've got pen-twitter and -facebook IDs

 

TMW when you're enjoying your lunch break at the high school and the principal comes on the PA and says everyone has to evacuate the building. Bomb threat or something of the sort.

Well, at least we're enjoying the hospitality of the elementary school gym and don't have to stand out on the track and freeze.

 

Ouch!

 

Ouch!

 

... when you realise the robots of the future are here now.

 

I give it six months before somebody puts a gun on that.

 

Then, chapter two - the resistance discovers the droidnest -

 

Exception being our ED-209 can take the stairs.

I saw a short video where the Russians have a robot driving a car.
Not that I think it is real, but it was interesting, and they are also
teaching it to use a gun. Maybe it was a real vid, but either way
I think they beat you to the punchline.

 

That moment when you clean out clean out your computer and delete a little over 100 gigs of useless downloads and games you're never going to play again, then realize that the amount of data you just cleared out of the recycle bin is 10,000 times more than could possibly fit on your first PC.