That Moment...

Gorge yourself soaking wet on the stoop or whatever is in front of your mother's domicile. Then when she gets home, pull a Smeagol.

Spoiler: Precious

 

That moment when...

...you realize the beginning of your story sucks.

That moment when...

...you realize that you forgot to spell "cancelled" even when you write the word all day long.

 

Adding to my last message. As I sat in front of my mothers building, getting drenched in the downpour, about ten minutes in my younger brother shows up.

"Hey bro," he says cheerfully, "Whatcha doing sitting in the rain?"

"Taking a bath in my clothes," I say back, "what's it look like?"

"Looks like you brought mom some stuff....you know she hasn't gotten the new locks put in yet, right?

See, I have the keys to my mothers apartment, but she told me last week she'd have someone change the locks by this past Friday, so I assumed....yes, assumed. Bah. Least I got an afternoon shower...

 

I feel ya on that one, and will share in the ouch moment on it.

 

TMW.... you go to clean out the Arsenal from the head of your bed so you can get the vacuum hose in there, and pull out: a wooden baseball bat, a putter, a machete and a dagger.


I'm sure those might get you some day?

 

Interesting arsenal.

 

Just a small part of the Arsenal

 

"What, no armored car?"

 

I got Betty, she is as good as any armored truck. Just as long as I don't get into any shootouts nor zombie hordes

 

I hope for your sake that Betty is the name of your car, not your significant other.

 

"A whole lota Rosey..."

 

That moment when you really wish the people around you would stop for a minute and actually think about what life would be like if you really believed you were rubbish at everything.

 

Well, since I am single.....

 

TMW you realise that you are down to your last 2 slices of cake, and regrettably conclude that you are going to have to cook something in the very near future.

 

If nothing else, I might end up eating larger breakfasts on weekdays and getting rid of lunch; it gets tedious to stop what I'm doing in the middle of the day and either open my lunchbox (which I hate carrying around) or let vending machines/nearby restaurants/the college cafeteria slowly whittle away at my wallet.

Ah, first world problems

 

Maybe you need a little sunshine in your life like this third world fella. He's not munched on anything since WWII*

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/18/prahlad-jani-india-sunshine


* I smell the holy-cowshit too

 

TMW you are conducting research for your Colonial mystery and learn that in 1760, John Adams almost married another woman but she grew tired of waiting for him to tie the knot so she just up and married another man. Also he made a boo-boo on Day #1 of his job as lawyer:

http://www.let.rug.nl/usa/biographies/john-adams/lawyer-(1758-1761).php

 

TMW you lift up the cushion of the armchair, looking for your copper bracelet, and discover:

1-It's not there, because it's actually still in your dressing gown pocket

2-A tape measure instead.

Granted, a tape measure doesn't sound particularly significant...but, when you have been looking for one, knowing that you should have three, it means something!
Now, I can finally start to make a bandana for my adorable little girl.

 

TMW you click a link on a webpage, but the page hasn't finished completely loading, and a split second before you click something else populates on the page causing your cursor to no longer be over the link you wanted, but instead over some random, bullshit advertisement.

 

That moment when you're trying to figure out if you're feeling sick because of anxiety, sleep deprivation, your period being due, or a virus.

That moment when you're pretending you've forgotten how this scenario ended the last time around...

 

Well, I know whose house im going to!

 

Something seems suspicious with all the crossed out words, I think you are up to summit...