That Moment...

Feces is dog perfume

 

What is with that anyway? Aren't dogs supposed to have a superior sense of smell? Surely they can smell just how awful that feces is. ...

 

Camouflage instinct I think. Cover your scent so the prey can't smell you. Feces is smelly, natural and harmless, so makes a good cover. Also they may not have as strong a revulsion to it as part of that. Dogs have quite strong immune systems and can more easily manage being dirty.

 

Yes the way I figure it. At least I know what I dont like about my writing and that is a step closer to finding my own voice as a writer. It is also the prefferred option to trying to make a silk purse out of a pigs ear. Better off binning the odd bit here and there and starting over.

Oh the hours I have spent trying to do that.

 

Starting out I found cutting my own work to shreds almost physically painful. Kudos for not only recognizing it needs doing but actually doing it.

 

She's a Siberian Husky so I already have to deal with prey drive, dominance games, odd diets. ...Is it too much to expect she cut me some slack and refrain from crap perfume?

 

But the poo smells so gooood!!

 

Translation: "You have the honor of my presence, what more could you ask for?"

I can see that in her head sometimes.

ETA: I forgot the fur. Fur every-freaking-where! I have enough to spin several dozen yards of yarn and that's just from combing. Ten minutes after mopping the floors look like a sloppy grooming station.

 

Wait a minute...I'm 4'11 3/4". So you're saying that were I to hug you, you'd grab my ass? You degenerate puppet you!

Oh, wait, I see that apparently that only applies when I'm 80. Whew!

 

I'm not going to lie, that's kind of adorable.

 

TMW you are looking into crafty stuffs, and wonder why the world loves hot glue?
It's paper, surely a glue stick would be good enough, right?

 

The fun thing about living in Japan is that I have visual referents for all of the shorter sizes. I had a student one time who was 144cm tall, comes out to about 4'9". A full foot shorter than me, I finally understood why the truly tall look dizzy all the time. (I knew a Marine who was 6'8". When he carried an M-60 machinegun, it looked like a Red Rider BB gun in his paws).

A normal-sized Marine with an M-60

 

My daughter is 5'1" and loved living in a place she didn't feel like a pipsqueak. She came back stateside and the adjustment was a little traumatic I think.

 

TMW you find out that @Iain Aschendale is three inches taller than your fridge. Well at least he is taller than the
the fridge, cause I am about the same height as it.

 

TMW you wake in a hospital bed strapped down on a board and hear your neurosurgeon's name is Doctor Rambo.

 

Wifey is 5 foot two (eyes of blue) and I'm six foot one. I get regular armpit reports!

 

TMW you are browsing YouTube videos and find yourself listening to a recording of what may have been Tsar Nicolas II during a royal parade, and an interview from the 1970s where the hostess is a woman born in Victorian times.

 

TMW you have only 1hr before you need to work and your boyfriend calls you on emergency number... - and you'll be keeping a world from collapsing again on your right hand and handling 8hrs customers on you're left hand. Just a day like evry other -.-

 

That moment when your mother seems determined to make you live in the garage after high school.

If I have to wait until I finish my senior year of high school to get an entry level job, I'm gonna kick someone. Probably in the face, I find it excellent stress relief

 

When I was like six, I lived in a place called Rainbow Springs, but because I was a stupid little kid who couldn't read and was still learning the differences in pronunciations, I always heard it as Rambo Springs

 

My daughter can give an oral dissertation on nose hair at a moment's notice.

 

TMW your brain is trying to figure this out...

 

Not even gonna try. ...

 

It's a little thing called style. Try it out sometime.
*straightens cravat and swirls martini*