That Moment...

Come on man, sell it.

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

It is glorious. Probably my favorite movie next to Good Will Hunting.

 

Student Bodies

The PAPERCLIP!! Aaaaaaaaaaagh!

 

TMW the alates emerge after a heavy rain.

 

Blegh!

 

Do they buzz? Cover the skies with their swarms? Land on babies in their high chairs and crawl up their noses?

 

No babies hereabouts so I cannot answer for that part. They do not buzz. Theirs is a fluttery floppy kind of flight. They shed those wings as soon as they mate so they are only loosely attached. But yes, they do swarm. This is all farmland and a lot of it is fallow right now. Anthills grow unimpeded and this is the for-real-real tropics, so their bounty is Attenborough-worthy.

 

Good luck with that.

 

I didn't know what these were so I did a quick search and now I'm unhappy, haha. I love it when worms come up for the first time in spring after a good ol' rain.

 

And the Hare just sat there gawping in disbelief.

 

This turtle is not going in the soup.

 

That moment when someone's post doesn't show as a gif the first time around so you're confused as to why they posted a photo of a blob on a sidewalk.

 

Shhhhhhh

 

Sorry...

 

TMW I think a lot of people would like to have their debt taken care of.

 

TMW you finish getting your taxes done and you discover the software provider wants to charge you over four times what you paid for the same product last year.

(We're talking nearly 30% of the projected refund, and the stupid software glitched so you had to spend an hour and a half on the phone getting it straightened out.)

 

TMW you sit at the keyboard with world of resources, information, and technology at your fingertips, which would have dazzled you 30 years ago, and you realize you're bored.

 

... you find this place. It's inspired! Even the little snippets of decriptions, stories and fictitious letters that accompany each sound are beautifully written.

https://www.ambient-mixer.com/

 

TMW you discover that there is another property to rent in your county for the same price, which also has a bus service into town.

 

That moment when "the sh*t hit the fan" is an understatement and would have been a literal description of events if there had been an actual fan in the room at the time.

This is what happens when you work in a care home.

 

??
(I ignored the spoilers)

Bless you for your brave service.

 

And let me give you the reasons. As an ex-Floridian, I am quite familiar with Florida Softshells.

Firstly, that mfka has a neck that is waaaaayyyy longer than anyone ever expects, will zip out at lightning speed, and he will legit try to eat at least part of you. And the way he manages to bite you is via the fact that if you were stupid enough to try to pick him up, you will learn that the soft shell (yes, it's soft like skin with bone underneath, no scutes) is covered with a quarter-inch layer of very, very, very heavy mucous. Like, on the verge of being rubbery. Like nearly, but not quite dry boogers. Like Jell-O that's just managed to set.

So while you're distracted with a case of "WTF? GROSS!!!!!!" He - Will - Bite - You.

 

Mrs. A and I visited the Australia Zoo (and boy does Joe Exotic make me give the Beerwah Reptile and Fauna Park the side-eye) quite some time ago. We were admiring some animal or other when an Australian Eastern Long-Necked Turtle whom we hadn't noticed reached its head out of the pen and licked her leg.

 

Though I often refer to Florida as "America's Australia" for many reasons, Australian turtles certainly give Floridian ones a run for their money. Many of them have necks that do not retract, but instead fold to the side. They exist in South America too (legacy of Gondwanaland) but we don't have any snake-necks here in PR.

 

TMW

 

Portrait Of The Artist As Himselph