That Moment...

Either way sounds like a good time to me.

 

'Getting blown.' whoever invented that is a fukkin genius.

 

TMW you have a growing list of things that always show up in your stories.

1. Nose pokes/boops
2. Smoking
3. Alcohol
4. Coffee
5. Some form of discipline or bondage
6. Bomber Jacket or Duster/Trench Coat
7. Odd characters

Suppose I am building my own set of things that denote
that no matter what anyone will be able to tell my stories
from everyone else's.

 

HEY! YOU try writing about Sadie McSadist and the Sadistic Strap of Power without mentioning it. It's tough!

It's especially tough when the safe word is "Harder!"

 

When you think you've got two beers left but you only have one.

 

...which leads to you digging out that bottle of tequila that's been gathering dust for a decade because BOOOOZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

TMW you have 2 beers left in the cardboard carton that you carry through the woods at night until you fall into a 15 foot deep hole you can't climb out of, so you finally drift off to sleep, then wake in the day half sober and realize if you had put the beers down you could have climbed out. Yep. True story. Told my friends the next day I found Hell and spent the night there.

TMW you realize the hole you fell in was actually the steep bank of a stream and you landed on a ledge. Incredible that you didn't stumble around enough to fall the rest of the way into the stream.

Drunken luck—gotta love it!

 

I'd like to meet the bottle of anything that could survive a decade in this house. Rather, it lead to me polishing off the cooking wine.

(no, not really)

 

I really don't like tequila and have no idea why it's on my shelf. It could stay there quite some time, I never par below about ten assorted bottles of stuff I like.

 

I had tequila once, I think. That's the one with the lime and the salt, right? Can't remember if I liked it or not. No, the only thing I can see myself hanging on to for a very long time is Jägermeister or any of that other shite that tastes like liquefied cough drops.

 

And I'm in my comfort, drinking liqueur after tsipouro, because that's all that's left.

 

God has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United States of America.
~Otto von Bismarck

 

TMW you think the hypoglycemia that's been a mild annoyance all your life is developing into something serious, then you realize it's the mask you have to wear at work cutting off your air supply.

 

TMW you almost ruin the blood work you are taking prior to your doctors appointment. Luckily I never swallowed that bite of the sandwich.

Followed by that moment when you have to go spit out a mouthful of cheese sandwich. Have to remember that these tests are to be taken on a empty stomach.

 

And if you want a marvellous musical depiction of her story, listen to Part 1 of Berlioz' opera Les Troyens. Hector B. does not consider her insane.

 

I think I'm about there. Though it's two beers and a bottle of hard cider.

 

TMW you discover that you can have your fiance stuffed to takeaway, for a very reasonable price.