That Moment...

That moment when you decide to take a walk to clear your head, but it just makes you anxious and panicky (people are staring, I'm sure of it) and your attempt at peace has been ruined.

 

Ask him if he some kind Communist.

 

Well she's an English professor. So of course she's a communist.

 

Really? I thought that was some kind of Nazi. A Grammar Nazi.

 

That moment when your cat steals your hair-tie and you find it in his water bowl.

 

TMW you type in 'embraced by a bear' into Google Image hoping for a hilarious image of an actual (trained) bear embracing a human only to find pictures of what appears to be books by Vicki Savage, and all the titles are {Verb} by the Bear* and A Bride for the Bear Shifter. The verbs are the following: Embraced, Claimed, Touched, Kissed, and Captured. So..uh...apparently there exists a series of romance novels involving a man who can shapeshift into a bear.

<looks up Embraced by the Bear on Amazon>

Oh God, oh Jeez, oh unholy demonic horses from the very bowels of Hell... Just...just read the first chapter in the 'look inside' preview! D:

 

@Link the Writer If it exists, there is porn of it.

 

This reminds me of a story in the Rocky Mountains from a decade or so ago. This guy was feeding a wild bear potato chips and it was taking them from his hand with it's paw and eating them while his wife took pictures. The guy had the great idea of putting his hands behind his back and making the bear reach around to get them. It would be a picture of a bear giving him a bear hug! Hilarious!

The bear broke every single rib in his body.

 

And I thought I was the weird one for contemplating a romance between a human girl and a horned cat-like boy in my fantasy... And it wasn't even erotica! This one is!

Reminds me of Timothy Treadwell. Spent 13 years hanging out with grizzly bears, getting up close and personal with them.

One cold winter night, an angry, hungry bear devoured him and his girlfriend.

Lesson to you kids: Do. Not. FUCK. with bears. They don't want to be your friend. Any 'bare necessities of life' they wish to impart will be when they're disemboweling you.

 

Unless you're the actual god damn Dragonborn, though.

 

This man is the Dovahkiin. Someone send him up to High Hrothgar.

Oh, and TMW you find yourself writing an erotic scene with two of your characters just to see if you can make it as cheesy and painful-to-read as possible. And TMW you debate on whether or not you'd be cruel enough to make the poor, unsuspecting members of WritingForums.org look at it. Muwahahaha, I am evil sometimes.

 

TMW
.. you receive an email from your supervisor "I am pregnant. Do you want to take my place in the expedition?"..

 

TMW-

You, the half-deaf/half-blind author, have to remind yourself that just because certain characters in your stories are disabled, they are not helpless! Really, if I, the half-deaf/blind author, forget this so easily, I can't imagine how easy it is for you 'normies' (people without any disability/condition/disorder) to forget.

 

TMW your cat is so high on catnip that he keels over in exhaustion and you think he's died.

Maybe need to stop giving my 16-year-old cat drugs.

Just for balance, you also have to realise their limitations. I was watching a horror movie (can't remember the name) where the protagonist is blind. The killers get into her house and then follow her round with butcher's knives, but wait until her fully-sighted father shows up before actually trying to kill her. They did want her dead, not just to torment her, so it makes NO SENSE that they didn't just walk in and stab her. Ridiculous premise for a horror movie.

 

Please don't give your poor cat any more drugs. :<

And you're right, a writer would also have to recognize the limitations their disabled character has to face. Secondly, a supposedly 'cold-blooded killer' isn't going to hesitate just because their victim is disabled. In that movie's defense, however, she would've been able to hear them coming and would've been smart enough (hopefully) to get out of the house.

But geez, if that was the entire plot of that horror movie, I bet it did awful at the box office.

 

That uncomfortable moment when you wonder if someone conveniently "lost" or "shut off" their cellphone when you confront them about their silence.

 

Nope, she didn't get out of the house until after her dad had arrived. She did hear them at points, but there were several times when the killers were inches away from her and just stood there. And even when she was running away, they were taller and would have been faster. It was just dragged out to fill 90 minutes. No idea how it did at the box office, I saw it very late at night on the Horror Channel. Luckily I love bad horror

 

True, my point was that just because someone's disabled, doesn't mean they're 100% helpless. I have a few blind characters myself and while there are things they can't do because of their blindness, they're not stupidly helpless and "Whaaa plz help me!! D:" because of it. They're all pretty smart and capable in their own ways.

TMW reading a thread about ideas and inspiration that you made way back in 2010 finally helps you to realize where you've been going wrong with the plotting of all your stories!! I...I just...I humbly apologize for not getting it through my thick head. I'm writing the realization down now in my writing journal. Maybe, finally, I can get it right this time.

...Please tell me I'm not the only writer that's this slow on the uptake...

 

TMW you interact with and learn about a super power blinkies have that leads you to plan for there to be a heroic group of such blinkies in your magnum opus novel.

Just sayin'. Not tellin'.

 

You mean a bunch of car lights are the protagonists?

 

In the MUD I played, blinkies was the term of endearment we gave the blind kids.

 

Oh haha, sightie.

* Sightie being the term of endearment the blind give to those who can see.

 

Sigh - the name given to people that can half see?

 

This doesn't even parse.

 

Oh well