1. Wreybies

    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Supporter Contributor

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    That one gay experience you had...

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Wreybies, Aug 26, 2016.

    Ok, first and foremost, I am totally NOT looking for a porny, blow-by-blow recount of what happened, who did what to whom....

    No. Not that.

    Hence, I don't care if it was penetrative sex, going "down south", heavy petting, snogging, etc. If it was intimate and sexual to you, if that's how you filed the experience in your memory, then that's all that matters because what I'm looking for how is you felt afterwards. I'm looking for how you canalized the experience and absorbed it. How it made you feel about yourself.

    I've got a character brewing in my fantasy piece that will have had a singular, consensual gay sexual encounter with one of the more core characters in the story and I'm trying to get into his head, his feelings, his inner self-imposed repercussions (if any).

    And I'm trying to be honest about him, not idealized, not "as I would have him be to suit sjw-ie expectations".

    Also, if you would rather PM me a response to what is obviously a personal and sensitive matter, that would be perfectly cool.

    I warn in advance that judgie commentary from EITHER side of the matter as regards the honest responses of members will be deleted. Consider this your notice as to why the deletion took place.
     
  2. Lifeline

    Lifeline Out of the Night Supporter Contributor

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    Slightly strange. But good. Attraction was/is certainly there, but I am just not wired that way. At least I know (it was a long time ago) :D

    I like knowing myself, to the hilt. The good and the strange. I like knowing why I react certain ways, it gives me warning if I am in danger of going down a path I might regret, later. The puzzle that is me gets more refined, with each new experience :)
     
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  3. Scot

    Scot Senior Member

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    Admiration, experimentation, realisation, rejection.
     
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  4. Shattered Shields

    Shattered Shields Gratsa!

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    At first? I was ashamed of myself, as I was raised Christian. How could I do these things? They were wrong surely?

    But, over time, he got me into bed again, he was quite talented at that. I went through several cycles of enjoying it in the moment, and then regretting it later.

    However, I began to really think about it. Why is this a bad thing? "Because the Bible says so" "Because God says so". And for me, that wasn't nearly good enough. Why should I feel regret over this act because someone else says it's something I shouldn't do? So, next time I did something different. I threw myself at him, I committed fully, and it was incredible. Finally I could feel pleasure like this without doubt or guilt.

    (EDIT- honestly I don't know if I'm bisexual though, I've only felt attracted to that one man)
     
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