Ok, first and foremost, I am totally NOT looking for a porny, blow-by-blow recount of what happened, who did what to whom.... No. Not that. Hence, I don't care if it was penetrative sex, going "down south", heavy petting, snogging, etc. If it was intimate and sexual to you, if that's how you filed the experience in your memory, then that's all that matters because what I'm looking for how is you felt afterwards. I'm looking for how you canalized the experience and absorbed it. How it made you feel about yourself. I've got a character brewing in my fantasy piece that will have had a singular, consensual gay sexual encounter with one of the more core characters in the story and I'm trying to get into his head, his feelings, his inner self-imposed repercussions (if any). And I'm trying to be honest about him, not idealized, not "as I would have him be to suit sjw-ie expectations". Also, if you would rather PM me a response to what is obviously a personal and sensitive matter, that would be perfectly cool. I warn in advance that judgie commentary from EITHER side of the matter as regards the honest responses of members will be deleted. Consider this your notice as to why the deletion took place.