1. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    The Ads Writing Thread

    Discussion in 'Word games' started by katina, Jul 7, 2018.

    I am always fascinated by TV ADS and how they come about
    who writes what and how.

    This thread is dedicated to those who want to give it a go and see how it flows
    one prompt is given and the ad is written.

    the first that comes to mind in alphabetical order is:

    Apple

    write an short add promoting the fruit apple.
    the next poster either gives the same prompt and propose a new one.:write:
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2019
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  2. Madman

    Madman Life is Sacred Contributor

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    Let your mouth luxuriate with this naturally juicy delight. From the spring of Eden to the gardens of Earth. An Apple will let you taste the splendour of nature.

    Hacksaw

    (Is this thread here just to help non-creative advertisement firms?)
     
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  3. Artifacs

    Artifacs Senior Member

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    Gingle Apple Ad
    (Full Orchestra)

    Hey, nice couple
    Why the low faces?
    Buy me an apple
    It'll drive you crazy

    I know it tastes boring
    And you want a beer
    But you must be joking
    If you think they'll be here..

    forever
    forever
    They won't be here
    forever

    Climate is changing
    At lest so I heard.
    Many are mutating.
    Into something else.

    Eat them, make cider
    They'll rule the world.
    Bake a pie, drink a tila.
    But don't let them grow.

    forever
    forever
    They'll rule the world.
    forever
    (ad infinitum)

    I suspect I didn't get an A in this test.
     
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  4. Artifacs

    Artifacs Senior Member

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    Oh I forgot the last part, is it my turn to say the next product now?... Well, if this thing goes on, I propose: A LIGHT BULB
     
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  5. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Location:
    The kingdom of scrambled portmanteaus
    Hot or cold, they're delicious!

    Gas mask
     
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  6. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    "Hello my lovely ladies and gents,
    have you ever considered our fine
    Gask-masks?
    Instinct says no, but let me take a
    few moments to entice you to reconsider.
    For a start we only offer the top of line
    and best suited rubber and plastics
    for our gas-masks.
    Now you are wondering about how practicle
    owning one of our masks might be, well
    I will inform you.
    Firstly they are great to have in an emergency
    situation, be it a viral outbreak or venturing
    out for supplies while nuclear fallout rains
    from the sky.
    They make great disguises for Halloween, or
    for those that just want to remain anonymous
    while doing what...well you know...(wink wink)
    And finally they are great for the bedroom to add
    some spice into your life. Nothing sexier or more
    stimulating than your lovely lady, or hunky man
    peering through the lenses and breathing heavily
    as you get hot and heavy between the sheets. Or
    bound to a table/chair, or wherever you wish to
    get freaky.
    That is just a taste of the many applications you can
    use our Mil-spec Gas-masks, and we offer the best
    prices in town. So stop on by one of our many locations
    today, and see all of our models today." :p
    Gas Mask Bondage.jpg

    (Furniture)
     
  7. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Nice seat! :D
     
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  8. Bobby Burrows

    Bobby Burrows Banned Contributor

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    Stuff on the floor?

    Piled up?

    Do you have an urban fox living in your clothes?
    *A bit extreme!!!

    Perhaps not, but what you need
    is furniture!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Are you tired of arse chaf when making love on the floor?

    What you need is furniture!

    Furniture, sold where all furniture is sold.



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Tired of sitting on the floor every time you go to work?

    Then what you need is office furniture!

    Furniture, what can't it do?






    Next thing to sell; a time machine
     
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  9. surrealscenes

    surrealscenes Senior Member

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    a room made of impossible angles
    Are you a new boot wearing, beard having hipster that enjoys crappy rye whiskey and watered down beer? Well, have we got a brand spanking new product for you! It's controlled by an app on your phone.. It's a Time Machine!!! Yes! A Time Machine! You can travel back to a time that fits you, and you fit as well. Did we mention it can be controlled by an app on your phone? Well it can!
    Now you can travel back to a time when your life expectancy is shorter and everyday life was rougher! Don't stay so long that your phone runs out of battery....or you will stay there and then.
    (Disclaimers: If you are one of those hipsters with a Nazi Youth haircut we are not responsible for any ill that befalls you. Only one can travel at a time. Currently only travels in one direction, moving to the future is an Alpha dream...until we figure it out.)


    GPS Implantable Chip.
     
  10. Just a cookiemunster

    Just a cookiemunster Active Member

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    GPS Impantable Chip

    All of you good citizens out there worried about being kidnapped at the bus station, boy do we have the solution for you! Now all of your worries will be radiated away the the new GPS implantable tracking chip. A microchip so incredibly small you wont even know its flowing through your bloodstream! It will send a 24/7 live stream GPS update of your location to the FBI, but that's not the best part! It also keeps track of your food intake, your stomach contents,counts calories to help fight obesity, records and keeps track of your conversations. (for kidnapping purposes only)

    But what has people lining up in droves to get this chip inserted is the new Bixby feature included, in support of samsung. You can talk with bixby anytime you get ready, a constant companion for those lonely nights at the bus station. If you see any suspicious activity you can command bixby to dial 911. It uses the latest bluetooth feature to connect with your smartphone and dial away!
    Contact your doctor if you experience radiation poisoning, upset stomach, nausea, vomiting, suicidal thoughts, depression, heart problems, blurred vision, abnormal changes in thought patterns, random bouts of electric shock or unexplainable mood swings, high blood pressure, kidney failure, or sudden death.


    Time Machine
    :superagree:
     
  11. Manuforti

    Manuforti Active Member

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    Welcome to the live feed of Mtechs new expo stage where it has been revealed they are bringing to market the Mtech10 Time machine!

    CEO Gillian Gibson has just filled us in on the latest specs. Current in a slightly cumbersome carry on, you activate it when you have arrived for an interview early, or you are waiting for your food to cook. It puts the minutes in front of you under incredible pressure and coils it in, making the time seem to pass quicker. It stores this potentially wasted time ( a maximum of forty minutes) in it's Chronocapacitator. The next time you find yourself running late for a very important meeting you simply toggle a flow and bleed that time back out. That surplus time stretches out into your future repaying your precious minutes.

    Now it will be on market next year, not as a purchase model but on lease only meaning you are covered against technical fails.

    Please be aware the manufacturer states 10% of all time stored is currently converted into units used to pay for service charges
     
  12. Manuforti

    Manuforti Active Member

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    A visit to hell
     
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  13. Bobby Burrows

    Bobby Burrows Banned Contributor

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    Tired of happiness, longing for misery?
    Why not take a trip to Hell!
    A trip can last a lifetime, even more!
    That's right, eternal damnation guarantees your ever lasting soul an eternity in Hell.
    Come for the temptation, stay for the torment.
    We've got everything you don't want and more.

    Next advertisement: clothes for dogs
     
  14. Stephen Barnard

    Stephen Barnard Active Member

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    Ever looked at your dog and thought: 'Do you know what, thousands of years of evolution aside, I think Fido's fur is not sufficient! He needs legwarmers and a tartan gilet!'
    Then come to us! We will happily kit out your pooch with additional layers he doesn't need, including beanies with earholes and snoods for tails!
    (We also stock 'go faster' stripes for cats and Viagra for rabbits.)


    Next ad: Beef Jerky
     
  15. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Banned Contributor

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    Bite it!



    Next thing: Nigerian letters. (The frauds.)
     
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  16. Manuforti

    Manuforti Active Member

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    Are you frustrated at work, thinking what did I do with all my potential?

    Are you suffering financial stress, praying for a lottery win, so you can work less and spend that much needed time with your children?

    Are you lonely now your partner has passed away, thinking you would swap that pension for some much needed conversation?

    Are you sat there in such a state of such desperation that your judgement is affected and you would clutch at any straw?

    Fear not, a valuable service is being provided from a false Prince who is a regular church goer of your denomination.

    For an advance fee of £5000 you can feel some much needed false hope that an improbable lump sum is on its way to you.

    The individual concerned will tailor their approach to you starting after a free initial consultation in the form of a phishing email.

    Over the course of 6 months they will scan your social media history and ask probing questions to establish a true image of your likes and dislikes. It will feel too good to be true. If you parcel the money out in smaller segments the game will go on longer.

    (Caution, no actual lump sum will materialise. Process requires suspension of disbelief)
     
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  17. Manuforti

    Manuforti Active Member

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    Kidnap insurance
     
  18. Radrook

    Radrook Banned Contributor

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    We Care Kidnap Insurance Company

    Here is how WE Care Kidnap Insurance Works

    For a low monthly premium of just 200 dollars, we will provide you with the peace of mind of knowing that in the event of your kidnapping, we will pay whatever exorbitant prices your kidnappers demand as a condition for your immediate release.

    However, if by some extremely unlikely event we are not able to meet the hostage price demanded by your kidnappers, then please be assured that your survivors will receive the full amount of your paid premiums as a refund.

    We are proud to say that out of seven kidnapped individuals only three lost their lives because of our inability to pay the ransom money. The four others only suffered minor injuries such as broken bones, and the loss of a few limbs as retribution for only receiving a partial ransom payment.
    So come join the host of satisfied customers and buy your Kidnap Insurance policy today. You will be glad you did! And remember: We Care!
    -------------------------------------------------------------


    Write an add for trash collection services.
     
  19. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    El Tembloroso Caribe
    Ever had someone call you a "hot mess"? We all have, and if we're honest, each of us can certainly be a hot mess when the mood strikes.

    :nosleep:


    But what if you could have your hot mess carted away by hot garbage men?

    :supershock:

    Introducing...

    gmen.png
    Twice a week, every week, for all your refuse and eye-candy needs.
    Qualifying Nevada residents, please inquire as to our special "extended" services.

    :superyesh:

    [​IMG]

    ----------------------------------------------------​



    Write an advertisement for a tree pollination service
     
  20. Radrook

    Radrook Banned Contributor

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    121789.jpg

    Boris Elton Humphrey [esquire]
    Any Takers?

    Boris Elton Humphrey is a likable fellow. Doesn't delve into other people's business. In fact, he's considered a hermit of sorts. Never married though he's viewed as handsome. Of course he's now in his late seventies, bald, wrinkled like a prune and his elbows are always thrust back grasshopper-like.

    But hey! His personality makes up for that. After all, he is quite willing to share his material possessions with any woman who might accept him. True, his possessions don't amount to much more than a decrepit cot, some second-hand clothing and books, but that should be no problem for a spiritually-minded gal who loves sincerity over material things.

    Furthermore, Boris is certainly sincere. He will tell the gal right off that he has false teeth and a chronic incurable halitosis to go with them capable of wilting flowers. So no surprises there. He also will confidently and honestly reveal that he is double-groin herniated and unable to hoist heavy groceries lest he wind up in ER with entangled intestines. But hey! Any gal with a sturdy back will not mind at all. In fact, it might appeal to her as- yet-unexpressed maternal instincts.

    Additionally, Boris is also very forthright about how he feels. True, part of it is due to his Tourrets tendency to shout out obscenities at full blast in public. But if one listens carefully, one will note that he whispers profound truths between each obscenity which makes putting up with it very worthwhile for the woman who is seeking an educated, and philosophically-inclined gent.

    His posture isn't the ideal, of course, and some might consider him as hunchbacked as Notre Dame. However, when viewed from certain angles and if the shading and lighting is just right, why, he sometimes seems almost handsome. Especially if the you have eyesight problems. Then that shouldn't be a problem at all.

    In short, Boris is the ideal man. Any takers?

    ---------------------------------

    Write an add for Dentist root- canal tooth-extraction services.
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2019
  21. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

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    :superlaugh::superlaugh::superlaugh:
     
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  22. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    :superlaugh:
     
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  23. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    [​IMG]
    Before you decide on forgoing that final plan of preventative oral care, we implore you to take a few
    minutes to reconsider. We understand that our treatments are not always pleasant, and are quite
    lengthy and invasive. But don't you think you owe it to yourself and your oral upkeep? Hmmm?

    Our goal is to take the bite (giggle) out of your experience to the best of our abilities. From having
    comfy couches to wait on.
    [​IMG]
    To procedure chairs in our multiple surgeries that are state of the art and comfortable
    you will feel like you are drifting on a cloud.
    And many options available to help you relax, and soothe the anxiety before, during, and
    after the procedure. Our aim is to help our vic- patients feel as comfortable and relaxed as
    possible, while our highly trained team of oral technicians work to sort out your oral needs
    with all manner of cold scary looking surgical steel pokey things, and miniature power-tools.
    Rest assured they only look scary, but rest assured in our quite well versed and gentile hands
    you will be in good shape.
    Vintage Dentist.jpg
    Here at our practice we offer the best in quality oral care, with two options depending on
    what and how you wish to go about things. While we are best known for being as relaxing
    and comforting as humanly possible, while getting the the root of all your oral problems.
    We do however offer an alternative if you are on the uh...how do you say...hardcore side
    of things. We understand that not all our patients are made equal in that sense, and we
    do strive to accommodate all accordingly. And at no extra cost mind you, just remember
    once you sign on the dotted line of the waiver, there is no turning back. So if you dare...
    Sexy Evil Dentist.jpg
    Buckle up buttercup, cause we will crank your treatment up to 11!

    So we would be happy if you chose our practice for all your intense oral treatments. :)


    Advert: Shoes
     
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