Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 8Bit Bob, Mar 12, 2018.
Oh, man, I've done that so many times!
The weirdest thing to ever happen when I was married, was when someone
broke into her Yaris and stole all of her shoes out of the car. Left the stereo,
cd book, just took like 7 pairs of heels.
I'm going on a nice li'l date soon and thought I'd get a nice dress fit for the occasion...
The person I bought the dress from sent me the wrong package, so I had to pick it up at the store. At the store I realized "hey, they don't have package delivery to this place, they must mean... the store where I used to live". Turns out I almost had my pretty dress sent to my ex's apartment and the only thing that "saved" me was that the person I bought it from had accidentally sent me a bigger package.
Here to hoping the date won't be as awkward, but knowing me...
My Dad went and punched a guy on a building site once - when my mother wolf-whistled him from a distance. Different times.
In middle school, I had a crush on this guy in my gym class. We were playing hockey (not on ice) and I accidentally brought my hockey stick down on his fingers.
[Raises hand] Fellow klutz here...In 5th grade when we were going across the outdoor courtyard as a shortcut to art class, in the rain, I slipped and fell right front of my crush and knocked him down with me in front of the rest of our class. He was a gentleman, helped me up, and helped me pick up my stuff. I was mortified.
Oh I have a few...they're one of the many reasons I quit drinking. I don't fall over or pass out or slur my speech. My mouth runs at a mile a minute and then I'm left in a state of total panic over what I've said the next day.
But we'll start with a younger and more innocent one.
I must have been around six or seven, in Sainsbury's with my mum. For some reason she was in deep conversation with the cashier, and I was around the back of the till with said cashier. I remember being mind-numbingly bored and fiddling around with the desk. Eventually I found this little button under it and pressed it for the sake of it. Screaming alarms ensued, and security guards came running over, but naturally couldn't find anyone making trouble. They seemed to eventually dismiss it as a false alarm, but one of them joked "It was you, wasn't it?" to me, and I remember being unable to even look at him, such was my shame. Thankfully that one doesn't haunt me, but it was a precursor for awkwardness to come.
Elevator fart with the, at the time unknown, head of a company I'd been dealing with. The dude laughed and farted back and we just kept laughing until we reached his office - then we laughed some more.
My family helps out at this horse ranch; my sister and I are day camp counselors, my mom is a manager, and my dad volunteers sometimes. After work this past Friday, I told my family how my day went, which included this thing my coworker did with her own horse and a few of the camp kids that I didn’t really agree with. While I didn’t think it was very safe or smart, it didn’t seem like anything to make a big fuss about. However, when my mom heard about it, she decided that it was big enough of a deal to tell my boss. The next morning, I got a text from one of the other managers asking for “my side of the story”... so I’m not looking forward to the next time I’m going to see my coworker.
Running passionately into thunderstorms as a child and not being able to put into words why I couldn't help doing it to my common sense parents.
Now, I know that it was an agonizing desire for the world to more epic, primal, and liberating than it appeared to be. I had an unbridled love affair with strong storms because they brought the world of expectation and conformity to a stand-still. And for the time that they lasted, I felt that I belonged.
I had very complex feelings for a little one. I still have those feelings, but as an adult, I can now sympathize with my deeply rational parents for having to learn to cope with a deeply romantic child.
Uh, it's not what I think it is, is it?
...Depends on what you think it is Hah, it’s probably not. Like I said, it wasn’t anything too serious, although that’s only the case cause nobody got hurt.
Omg, this is awkward and strange and kinky.
I was listening to my asmr on YouTube to help me sleep, I had passed out, I came to because her voice was behind me nuzzling my right ear as we spooned. LOL. I was dreaming ok!?! I thought the voice in my ear was one of the girls from the writing forum, I had no control over any of this except to think ahhh this is a relaxing whisper in my ear. It continued like that for minutes until I was lucid enough to come to... that was the most surreal experience, I definitely went Down the rabbit hole on this one, no control....
Even awake, I just sit here, hold it up against the screen, hoping against hope somebody might see it, and feel my needs.
Matwoolf your plushie animal?
Yes, my hairy mascot tiger.
Mine was a vampire biting my neck sucking life out of me, vampire Asmr. I fell asleep with headphones on.
My old friend's widow is apparently a moderately big thing in the youTube ASMR community, but I just can't bring myself to listen to her whispering soothingly in my ear, it feels like a betrayal.
What's the channel name?
There are like a billion ASMR channels.
I love strange but I draw the line at my family reading my vampire erotic novels when I publish! OMG I have to buy every copy in town!
Is the genre erotica or horror?
when I first read this I thought it said ...bury every copy in town!
freudian or what?
Horror/Erotica-Could be a genre hybrid.
Im not the first to blaze that trail. *Licks her fangs looking at Bram Stoker's bones above her fireplace.*
I raise a glass to you sir, without you where would I be? That's right. We used our charms on you so the humans would think us a myth again. *A smile like no other shown fangs in the firelight.*
Oooh... vam-prose! Or is it vam-poetry?
It's... Avante' Vampoire
Edit: my story is things going right, after global catastrophy:
My ex-wife and I had a New Years Eve party at my house with a bunch of friends, and her little sister was there too. Being only in her early twenties, she wasn't an experienced drinker and knocked back quite a few shots of tequila, got sick and passed out. We put her in our bed to sleep it off and continued partying. We finally went to bed very late ourselves.
Somehow, I wound up in the middle of the bed between them, and in the dim, early morning, I rolled over to spoon with what I thought was my wife...I'm talking, really spooning, full-body-full-on spooning. I went back to sleep.
My wife was a brunette, so I was certainly shocked when it got lighter and my face was buried in a bunch of blonde hair. I rolled over, very quickly and quietly, and no one roused, thankfully.
Neither of them ever said a word about it, so I assume that she never awakened and didn't notice it.
..and no, that is not the reason she is now my ex-wife
Separate names with a comma.